A
female
age
41-50,
*emmenoir
writes:Hi,should i take myself off the dating website that i am currently on?I have met a really nice guy via this dating site and we are going to meet in 2 weeks.We have been communicating for more than a few months now. It is because of me, that we have yet to meet, as i needed plenty of time, to be sure about him.We used to communicate daily, when the guy i like, was still on the site, however, he told me he is getting off the site, as he is looking forward to meeting me and finding out if we could have a prospective relationship.He is now off the site, however, i am still on it and i have remained on the site, as i didn't wish to give him the opinion that i am totally needy or dependant upon him alone.(I have been told by some, that this may turn him off.)We are now communicating via our private email addresses, however, i am now seeing an almost complete shutdown, in his communication with me, via email, although, he is still polite and recently told me that he looks forward to meeting me soon.I noticed the other day, that he had been back on the site and he checked my full profile. This profile check, showed up within my inbox mail.I want to know, (preferably from male readers, as only men really know, exactly how men think), why he is not so communicative with me anymore and why he checked my profile via the site?I am feeling slightly confused, so any sensible advice given, would be greatly appreciated.Thankyou in advance! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (15 April 2014):
 How keen are you, really, on meeting this guy? If you are keen, email or phone him and ask him if he still wants to meet up. Say you've noticed that he hasn't seemed as keen of late. There's nothing wrong with just being honest and finding out what's going on. Perhaps you should also tell him that you've noticed he looked at your profile and reassure him that you're not talking to anyone else.
Just to make a point: you can't be "sure" about someone until you meet them face to face. Also the waiting around for months may put off a lot of people. He may be wondering why you've been putting it off AND still have your profile up - maybe he's getting the jitters.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): I can't speak for all men. I can speak on general terms that he checked your profile to see if you were still there and active.
If he shut-down, that's his problem. Not yours. You are by no means committed to this guy. You have never met; so he's already raising expectations?
What guarantees do you have that he will like you in-person?
What guarantees do you have you will like him?
People may not be the person they've created in a profile, and if you want to keep your profile open that's your business. Your options, as well as his, are open until you mutually decide to be exclusive and commit to each other.
No one with any common-sense, or a sane mind, is going to believe a match or commitment is made online, before they have even met in-person.
Online connections only have merit when two people come together and a real-live connection is made. Not one made in anticipation of the first meeting.
If he has prejudged you and he hasn't even met you yet, then you were right to keep your profile open on the site.
All you know about this guy is what he created in a profile, and have no evidence he isn't signed up on some other site. He may have closed the one you're on. That doesn't mean he's not open on others.
If he stopped communicating, that leaves you the option to cancel the meeting. Why bother?
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A
male
reader, crushed_by_love +, writes (15 April 2014):
Rightly or wrongly, he probably thought by coming off of the site he was showing a commitment to you and wanting to make it work, and probably expected the same from you.
If he thought you were still active on the site, he may well have doubted that you were as keen as he was
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (15 April 2014):
Men don't know how all men think. I have no idea what his thought process is, I'm just commenting to let you know that I think you're handling things correctly and you shouldn't worry about a guy you've never met.
You have nothing invested in this so just take it one step at a time, and if he follows, he follows.
I'm guessing he checked your profile to see if you were still active. He may just be impatient.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 April 2014):
 He might actually be wondering why you are still on it, since you took so long to set up a face-to-face meeting, me might assume (don't we all some times?) that you are talking to more then just him.
My advice - if you can, put your profile as inactive (if you aren't talking to other guys or looking to talk to other men right now) and met him on the day you two have planned.
There is SO many opportunities for people to misunderstand each other when communication isn't face-to-face or while you are both walking around on your best behavior and not wanting to ask the questions you REALLY want to ask.
Taking it slow is a good approach, so please don't second guess yourself.
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