Would you let your husband go away for the weekend with a woman he fancies?
Q. I have been with my husband for eleven years now, and although things are fairly good between us, he has developed a crush on another woman. He met her on a weekend away with the boys in the middle of summer, and has been sending odd messages her...
A. 27 December 2007: You need to set some boundaries in your relationship otherwise your husband will take full advantage and simply do as he likes. I agree with Rockelle that he's showing a blatant lack of respect towards you. Next time he goes out with her, get ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I fancy her?
Q. i fancy this girl who is a year younger than me (i'm redoing my first year at college) but she already has a boyfriend. i don't know wether i should tell her or if i should get over her and if so how?...
A. 27 December 2007: Depends how much you fancy her!! All's fair in love and war, as they say ;-)
But as with everything there's a risk involved and you may get hurt, so it depends if you're prepared to take a chance.
Getting over her would entail you having to accep... (read in full...)
She descended into a spiral of depression and drink and we split...but how could she be depressed when things improved??
Q. I have a few questions, so here goes. I was in a relationship with a girl for 9 months, we decided to break up a few days ago. Everything moved extremely fast, but was going great. Well i decided to move in with her after about 4 months. Everything ...
A. 3 December 2007: Depression doesn't always have a cause, so sorting out the issues which you perceive cause her misery, is not necessarily going to "cure" the depression. She used alcohol as a crutch, but I assume it made her feel worse, so she seems to have managed ... (read in full...)
How can I get my gf's sex drive back??
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months, at the start of the relationship we had sex 3 or 4 times a week. After the first month 3 or 4 turned into 1 or 2 times a week, now 6 months into our relationship we have sex once or twice a month. When we ...
A. 3 December 2007: How is the rest of your relationship? If things are not going well, this will definitely affect her wanting to have sex with you. Resentment is a big passion killer. Another is poor personal hygiene and bad habits. You really need to sit and talk to ... (read in full...)
What are condoms??
Q. What are condoms exactly-what do they look like and how do you get them-are they safe? Don't say I'm too young because I'm just curious and I'm not going to have sex until I'm 16 atleast anyway so I don't need a lecture. Please - don't think I'm ...
A. 3 December 2007: Use the google search engine, and type in "what are condoms", and you'll get all the info you need along with some pictures!
You can buy them in any supermarket or chemist and the school nurses will give you them for free. They are safe if they are ... (read in full...)
Could he possibly fancy me??
Q. I've known a boy in school for 5 years now, and while we've never been close friends, we spoke to each other and had a laugh every now and again. He used to tease me jokingly towards the end of y11, and we had a really good laugh. Now we're at the s...
A. 3 December 2007: Hard to say, he may just be being friendly! Give him a bit of time, but don't be too pushy. You don't want to scare him off!
You could always start talking about a really good movie that you've heard about and want to see, and casually ask if he's... (read in full...)
Me and my gf rarely make contact...and now shes calling me 'dude'...have we become just friends??
Q. Hello, Recently my girlfriend has been depressed due to a few issues in her life. Because of this she has become distant with me, to the point where we no longer have sex and she rarely makes any physical contact with me anymore. Of course I...
A. 3 December 2007: Is your girlfriend doing anything to help her depression? Has she seen her GP, counselling, or taking any medication? It's very difficult for her as well as you, because it's extremely difficult to connect with someone when they are depressed. They ... (read in full...)
My bf is miles away and I want to test the waters with other guys.
Q. I've been with my bf for 3 years now, but I am 1900 miles away from him because of school. I really want to be hugged and touched and comforted. I thought I loved my bf, I was so dependent on him when we were living together, but now, I feel like ...
A. 1 December 2007: Why do you not want to break up with your boyfriend? What is stopping you?
You say you're no longer dependant on him, which is good. Dependance is need, not love. I don't pick up anywhere that you have feelings for the boyfriend and you admit you ... (read in full...)
Has Christmas become too commercialised? Have we lost its real meaning?
Q. hia cupid has christmas become to commersialised? have we lost the real meaning of christmas?? ...
A. 1 December 2007: Christmas is not like it used to be, that's for sure! As a nation we've become very spoiled and we expect the best of everything, and we don't want to wait to save up for it either, so we buy like crazy on credit. Sadly Christmas becomes all about ... (read in full...)
If I do not give him enough attention he has panick attacks or cries, being over-sensitive. How to deal with this?
Q. Hey. I don't know what to do anymore!I'm a mess. I am only 15 but i'm with this guy, he's prone to panic attacks and I've caused him to have three. I didn't let myself in for this! Whatever I do he cries or has a panic attack. A propper one as well. ...
A. 28 November 2007: Jeez, do you really need all this in your life at your age?? You should be out there having fun, not stuck with someone who emotionally blackmails you! Let me put things straight....you ARE NOT responsible for his panic attacks. It's his illness ... (read in full...)
She came over...we made out...and now she doesn't seem to want to talk to me.
Q. I met this female on a dating site. She lives a few minutes from me. We have talked on the telephone and then she called me up and said she wanted to come over. I agreed. We watched a movie and i rubbed her shoulders and lower back. We were talking ...
A. 28 November 2007: It sounds like she was keen to start off with and now she has second thoughts. Who knows why! You could pursue her to try and find out what put her off, but are you sure you really want to know? Maybe it's best to just put it aside as an experience ... (read in full...)
Any ideas how I can talk to my mum about losing my virginity without upsetting her??
Q. I'm 16 and wanting to lose my virginity to my 20 yo bf of 4 months. I would prefer i told my mum cause then i have someone to talk to about it but i'm not sure how she would react. I know she would prefer if i waited till i was older but i told her...
A. 28 November 2007: I think she'll be far happier if you told her your intentions and that you're taking precautions. You sound very sensible to me! Has she met your boyfriend? You're right, I'm sure she already knows it's a matter of time, so be brave ;-) Point out to ... (read in full...)
The last thing I want to do is leave her but I'm tierd of this drama.
Q. Hey, I'm 22 and i really like this girl. We have been seeing each other for about a month and half. I made the mistake of asking her to be my girlfriend after only 3 weeks when her heart is still broke over a lad. She's so the person i been lo...
A. 28 November 2007: It's pretty clear she's not over this other bloke yet, and she ended on the rebound with you to make herself feel better. I would step away from the relationship a bit and see what happens. Don't make yourself available to all her calls. Make it ... (read in full...)
We became rommates instead of married lovers, I feel miserable and lonely and think I should not have married her.
Q. i want to divorce my wife...there is no intamacy or love between us anymore. she refuses to go to counselling now. she says she won't give me a divorce. we've become roommates instead of married lovers. i think we should never have got married in ...
A. 28 November 2007: It doesn't sound as if there's anything in your relationship that's worth saving. Your wife doesn't want to resolve the situation and you cannot carry a relationship on your own. There's nothing worse than the loneliness between 2 people who live ... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated twice! I forgave him the first time, now he says it will not happen again. Should I stay or leave?
Q. Hi cupid! this's my first time here. I dont know what to say and i still cant get rid of it. I'm married with military and move myself to live in Japan for 2 years before we move back to states. My husband is younger than me 7 years. We have 2 ...
A. 28 November 2007: I don't think it's wise to stay with him purely for the baby's sake. You say you'll keep your heart open for someone else, but it's not fair on the man who then falls for you, a woman who's still married. Besides a decent man will avoid a married ... (read in full...)
Moving in with my fiancee was the biggest mistake of my life...and now I only love her as a friend.
Q. Don't know what to do with the situation that i am in at the moment. Im with my fiancee 2 years, we're engaged about 12 months now, but 6 months ago we decided to buy a house and live together. I feel its the biggest mistake of my life. I dont rea...
A. 28 November 2007: You'll need to be straight with her and explain that it's not working out. Luckily you've only got as far as living together and haven't gone the more complicated route of marriage and children!
From what you've written it's pretty clear that you ... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated twice! I forgave him the first time, now he says it will not happen again. Should I stay or leave?
Q. Hi cupid! this's my first time here. I dont know what to say and i still cant get rid of it. I'm married with military and move myself to live in Japan for 2 years before we move back to states. My husband is younger than me 7 years. We have 2 ...
A. 27 November 2007: I tend to think that all people make mistakes, but not everyone seems to learn anything from them! Like your husband unfortunately. It probably doesn't help that he's away from you for long periods of time, and if that situation doesn't change I ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to orgasm simultaneously with your partner?
Q. My girlfriend of several years and I have not had sex yet. We are both virgins. I have read that orgasm are very nice. How can I give her one? Is it possible to give her more than one? Is it possible for both of us to have one at the same time? ...
A. 27 November 2007: Orgasms are indeed very nice, but also very hit and miss! Women don't always orgasm, and it's extremely unlikely that she will orgasm the first time the pair of you sleep together. For that to happen, you'll need to already know her body very well ... (read in full...)
Certain things he said whilst breaking up have really hit me hard; I'm afrad that if I lose him, no one else will love me.
Q. Hello, Im just looking for some advice really from someone who might know what im going through. Ive been with my boyfriend for 19 months now, im 18 and he's 22, and ive always been happy with him and love him to pieces, and ive made some mis...
A. 26 November 2007: I think what you need more than a boyfriend right now, is to work on yourself a bit more. He's certainly not very supportive even though you've tried to be less clingy and given him space. What I'm going to suggest is not easy, but believe me it ... (read in full...)
He makes me feel secure and wanted, but when I think about his age I wonder if I have taken a good decision. He's 18 yrs older.
Q. I am 45 and my husband is 50 just divorced and I met this man 18 years older than me. He has been supportive throughout my divorce. He has just recovered from colon cancer when I met him. He's got no children. He said I am a huge boost to him and ...
A. 26 November 2007: It's only natural that you are starting to worry about the age difference. When we get to a certain age, things start going wrong with our health. You're probably worrying about how much time you'll have with him. But you know, even if you're with ... (read in full...)
My bf thought I was joking when I refused intimate contact as we had been talking about it, and he raped me. Please help me.
Q. hi im 13 and i was raped by my 13 year okld boyfriend and think i might be pregnant i know he was only joking around and he thought i was joking when i said no because i had been talking about it please help me....
A. 26 November 2007: This is a very serious situation. The first thing you need to do is speak to your parents and then see your doctor. You don't say when it happened? If it's very recent, and you haven't yet washed away the evidence, then go straight to A+E for a ... (read in full...)
Is he playing with me? - he "forgot" to say he lived with somebody else and already had a child. He says he loves me.
Q. Hi! I was with this person who wanted to me intimate right away with me after a few dates. I said no. After a while he would call me a few times then one day I stopped calling him. six month later he chased me down after a month we became intimate. ...
A. 26 November 2007: I think you know deep down that this bloke is taking you for a ride. Right from the start he made it clear he wanted you to sleep with him and so he chased you until he got what he wanted.
When his girlfriend kicked him out, where else would he go b... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses with a guy that doesn't want to commit?
Q. Should I cut my losses? S and I have been dating for several months now. I'm 26, he's 31. We have fun together, we spend a lot of time together and I love him. We do have little quarrels but as a whole it is a great relationship. The only problem ...
A. 26 November 2007: It seems he's not sure about you yet, well, enough to commit to marriage anyway. The fact is you're still together, enjoying each other, so why rock the boat? In this day and age where most marriages end up on the rocks, I think he's wise to take ... (read in full...)
Should I move closer to be with her?
Q. Ok, so I met someone on holiday who I really like, but she lives 300 miles away. What do i do? First of all I would explain that this was an unplanned holiday given to me by a friend who was taking his girlfriend, now ex. It was intended to be a...
A. 25 November 2007: I would try and work out how she feels about you first before making any drastic choices. If she's equally keen, then there's nothing stopping you from moving to her neck of the woods. Careful with holiday romances though. You don't always get the ... (read in full...)
How does an age gap affect a relationship??
Q. How does an age gap affect a relationship? Explain whats good and bad when you have a 20years gap boyfriend?...
A. 24 November 2007: Depends on each individual really. I think it's easier in society if it's the man who's older than the woman. Despite the "Toy Boy" trend, it still looks very silly when an old woman steps out with someone old enough to be her son. Of course some ... (read in full...)
Is love selfish? Opinions please!
Q. My question: Is love selfish? does someone only love because it makes them happy inside? would someone love a person who doesn't make them happy? look at these questions while you answer my question. - why do people stop loving a person? when the...
A. 24 November 2007: There are many different kinds of love. The love for family and friends, your pets, your children, some people love a "god", nature, romantic love, self love etc etc.
It's impossible not to have an element of selfish love in romantic love. When you ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that the tests are wrong and I am pregant??
Q. I have done loads of pregnancy tests and all of them say im not pregnant but i havnt had my period for 2 months and this has never happend before. I was trying for a baby with my ex and we split up a month ago. I have a doctors appointment in Decem...
A. 24 November 2007: The only way to be certain is to go to your doctor and get some bloods taken. I wouldn't waste any more money on the prgenancy kits!
There are many reasons why you've missed your periods. I take it you're not on the pill? Stress can play havock with... (read in full...)
Do you think there's someone else? Or that he's not attracted to me anymore? His sex drive decreased very much...
Q. For a couple months it seems like my boyfriends sex drive has dramaticly decreased. We use to do it atleast 3 times a week and now ill be lucky if its 2 times a month. And when we do i have to start it. Also i mention it and he just acts aggravated ...
A. 23 November 2007: Have you tried to talk to him in a gentle non accusatory way? Something is clearly bothering him. Maybe you could cook a meal and bring up the subject then by starting off with " I'm worried about you, you don't seem very happy, do you want to ... (read in full...)
I am 14 and I feel like my life is almost falling apart.
Q. I am 14 and I feel like my life is almost falling apart. 1. my parents had a huge argument and are still not talking and it's getting to me. 2.my group of friends have totally split now and I only hang around with two other girls. 3.I have...
A. 23 November 2007: I feel for you, really! It's not always easy being a teenager and with all those hormones whizzing around, you will feel up and down.This is normal, we've all been through it :-)
You know, sometimes you're better off with just 2 friends who are real... (read in full...)
My mom's dressing.
Q. Hi, I am Jasper. doing my UG. My family are a very good and decent family living in a village. We are a middle level family living in the tradition way. My problem is about my MOM. She is around 50 years old and working as a teacher in a ...
A. 23 November 2007: I take it we are talking bellybuttons here, not oranges or the navy..oops!
Seriously, your mother is an adult and if she chooses to dress the way she does, it's her issue, not yours. I know cultural issues play a role here, but she's a person in h... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he come to see me?
Q. My boyfriend and I we have been dating for over 6 years, he lives in the UK and he is married, I am living in France and I am single. We do care about each other and we do trust each other. We get on well even though we are far from each other. ...
A. 23 November 2007: I can't imagine you got much out of the relationship even if you've been "seeing" each other for 6 years and not living in the same country. What a waste of your life! It's fine for him, he has his wife while you get to see him at HIS convenience. ... (read in full...)
How can I control my libido?
Q. I've just divorced and met this guy, seems genuine so I go for him. I am 47 and he is 18 years older than me. Sex with my ex-husband was non existent in the last year before we divorced. This man is 18 years older than me but unbelievably good in ...
A. 23 November 2007: Oh dear, you're at an age where you are peaking, and he's at an age where things slow down! You'll need to reach a compromise if you want things to work out. Maybe you can look into sex toys, mutual masturbation, oral sex as alternatives inbetween?... (read in full...)
Sex hurts to much and its annoying me.
Q. hiya, Me and my boyfriend have tried to have sex several times now he knows im a virgin and wev taken things really slowly but the most we do is he gets the very end of his penis inside me and it hurts soo much i have to stop him. He's a great g...
A. 23 November 2007: Each person is different,some feel pain, some don't. So don't compare your experience with your friends!
You need to be relaxed to be able to have sex without pain, which means you need to trust your bloke and have feelings for him to start of... (read in full...)
He's more experienced than me and I feel like I'm letting him down...any tips?
Q. Plz help, I've recently lost my virginity to my new boyfriend, the thing is im to worried im not doing more to please him, how do you give hand jobs?like what do i do?, and any more tips on making the sex better for him, hes much more experien...
A. 23 November 2007: Let him guide you to what feels good for him. He'll show you what turns him on. Some men don't talk much during sex, so watch his body language and you'll soon learn what he loves best.Generally men love some input and are only too happy to show you ... (read in full...)
I feel angry with him but I wouldn't ever express my anger. We dated last year but he did not want a serious relationship. Do I avoid him if he calls again? How can I get over this?
Q. The man i used to date the last year told me that he didn't want a serious relationship. I didn't call him after that but he called me. I was polite to him and i met him. After that he hasn't called me again and when i called him he didn't answear. ...
A. 23 November 2007: What is it that you want with this man? Do you want a serious relationship or are you happy for a casual relationship? Does he know what you want from him? He has made his position clear, and the ball was in your court wether to take him up on his ... (read in full...)
I was a workaholic and my wife left me, I've turned things around now, how can I convince my wife that I've changed?
Q. My wife of 9 years ask me to leave 9 months ago. She told me that she held on to hope the last couple of years but had finally given up and eventually fell out of love with me. Her reason are that I was disconnected from our family and was not ...
A. 23 November 2007: I don't think it's too late either. Provided she was honest about the reasons and there's not a third party involved. For it to work, both you and your wife need to want reconciliation. These things take time, and she'll want to see that your ... (read in full...)
Struggling with just being friends to my special someone.
Q. Can you ever be 'just friends' with someone you instantly fall for, and they appear to feel the same? We text eachother sometimes, but I am almost finding it too difficult, I almost feel like saying it's all or nothing as it's torture to be friends ...
A. 23 November 2007: I reckon you should keep in touch with him, but at the same time start building up your social life. Go out and have fun to stop you wallowing and pining for him. What this man needs right now is a good friend and no pressure. The last thing you ... (read in full...)
Does true love die?
Q. If two adults truly love each other and are so miserable when they are not together and can't bare to be without the other person in their life but circumstances force them to end their relationship and not see each other, will those feelings stop ...
A. 22 November 2007: I can't help thinking that if 2 people truly want to be together as much as the other, then they will move mountains to be together. Sure, it may take years, but they'll find a way to eventually be together if BOTH want it! Problem is that one ... (read in full...)
I am 40 years old and my husband of 23 years has told me he wants us to seperate... I am devastated!
Q. I am 40 years old and my husband of 23 years has told me he wants us to seperate, I am devestated (an understatment) things havent been good between us but I was really trying to make things work, However he is adament that it is over. I cant ...
A. 22 November 2007: I really really feel for you especially so close to Xmas! I'm assuming your husband is near your age too, or older and he's found a new lease of life! Has he cheated on you before?
I hope he used a condom when he slept with the other woman, do you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't climax with me... What am I doing wrong?
Q. i have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now and i cant get him to climax. in all the time that we have been together i swear i can count it on one hand how many times it has happened. he isnt my first and with the others i had no ...
A. 22 November 2007: Sounds like the problem lies with him, not you. Does he get erections, is he able to sustain them enough, or does he keep going and going and never "getting" there? Both alcohol and recreational drugs cause problems with delayed ejaculation. How ... (read in full...)
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