A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hiya,Me and my boyfriend have tried to have sex several times now he knows im a virgin and wev taken things really slowly but the most we do is he gets the very end of his penis inside me and it hurts soo much i have to stop him. He's a great guy and he stops evrerytime as soon as i say. But its annoying me now, what if i can never do it? My friends say you have to put up with the pain first time but i dont think it hurt them as much as its hurting me its soo bad, whatcan i do to help this? please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): I hurt HORRIBLY when I first had sex and bled lots. Trust me........you will be able to do it. It hurt me, but I just worked through it for as long as I could. I stopped him many times. But, we just never gave up. The rest is history. The best thing is to relax and not tense up. Good luck. No worries......it will happen :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): "if your really concerned go to your doctor"
When my wife and I first tried to have sex, she found it incredibly painful. Basically, her 'hymen' was rather tough. Some girls can break the hymen just playing sport. We asked the doctor and she said it was just that her hymen was tough, and the best way was to gradually work on it with my fingers. At first even using one finger was painful. It took about 2 months and working up to 3 or 4 digits before we got there.
There's no need to force it or to leave blood on the sheets if you are patient!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): One word...
Foreplay.
Trust me you need it way more than he does.
And if the hymen ain't broke yet, then it will still be painful... but not as, and not for as long. Not once you're oiled up and ready for take-off.
Or you can try lube. KY jelly seems to work a treat. But seriously, get him down to give you a spit shine.
I mean you gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Hi there, I know exactly what you mean. I didnt loose till I was nearly 18, and that was after a few failed attempts for the same reason.
Now the reason you are finding it painful is probably because you tense up at or just before or even just after he enters you, this makes you what the guys call 'tight', your muscles contract making entry dificult and for you painful.
You have to physically relax, just allow it to happen, make sure he is very gentle and enters slowly a little at a time. you may find you cannot take his full length the first few times, but if you conciously relax down below, you will find it a far more pleasant experiance.
I found two things helpful, as well as relaxing my muscles, one was a lot of forplay to naturally lubricate down below and turn me on physically. the second thing I found helped was the position.
My first successful time was when I got him to lie on his back and I straddled him, I could control hw much how fast and so on. By being in control and being on top youwill find yourself automatically more relaxed, and you can stop and start as and when you want to.
Ihope some of this helps you, I know how difficult it can seem.
One word of caution though, Because I was very tight down there, even having relaxed and enjoyed the experiance, it tore his forskin a little, he felt no pai and it healed within hours, but there was a fair amount of blood! So if this happens to you two, dont panic ok xxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, calamitysil +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Each person is different,some feel pain, some don't. So don't compare your experience with your friends!
You need to be relaxed to be able to have sex without pain, which means you need to trust your bloke and have feelings for him to start off with. If that's in place, you need to look at your environment.Are you likely to be disturbed? Build up to penetration slowly. Get him to use his fingers initially to penetrate you, starting off with 1 finger.
There are some instances where the hymen is tough, and if you still have problems despite trying the above, you may need to see your doctor who can surgically remove the hymen.
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