A
female
age
36-40,
*asper
writes: Hi, I am Jasper. doing my UG. My family are a very good and decent family living in a village. We are a middle level family living in the tradition way. My problem is about my MOM. She is around 50 years old and working as a teacher in a governmentt school. She is average tall and not fat and having no medical problems. I get depressed and feel bad and irritated to see her wearing sarees exposing her navel. In the house she will not hide her navel and oftenl while going to school and marriage functions she exposes it badly.I studied in the school where my MOM worked so I know what the idiots will go there (by keeping nic name)Mostly I feel I want to die when people's eyes points her navel this happens when I go with her out. (I think she also notices it) Another thing is my friends visit my house often because my college is near my house. At that time I see some friends staring at her and passing comments(I have heard it). I don't know why she is doing like this. She watches films and sure she knows what's going on film(Navel shows of heroines).. but even she doesn't take any steps to hide. Can any one help me on how I can let to know this upsets me? Additional DetailsSHE IS FROM INDIA. SHE IS HAVING GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH FATHER, SHE IS RURAL AND TRADITIONAL AND CARINGPLEASE CONSIDER THIS FACTS BEFORE ANSWERINGI HAVE told here indirectly about it.(eg, when navel shows comes on TV I will tell the reason and ask to skip the channel, she does... also I comment about the dress they wear)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): hi dear friend,dont bother about it. everybody want to enjoy with beautiful navel... its really a gift of god... it should be viewed and enjoyed...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Why would a female be called Jasper? That's a bloke's name, surely?
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A
male
reader, Samutsen +, writes (24 November 2007):
Read below once more PGGSYD: She is suffering!
'Mostly I feel I want to die when people's eyes points her navel this happens when I go with her out. Another thing is my I see some friends staring at her and passing comments(I have heard it).
Do you thopse stares are nice and well intentined
Do you think the comments she heard were nice !
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A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (24 November 2007):
Sorry just realised your female!!! I truely cannot understand how a girl could be soooo shallow about the way her mother dresses!
This is NOT the dark ages love, get overyourself ok!
Same to you samutsen, bloomin' caveman!!
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A
male
reader, Samutsen +, writes (23 November 2007):
Your mother represents you also and you represent you mother especially in a small community these things matter and you mother MUST take into account what the community around you and her thinks of. You are 100% correct in getting this feeling. We are individuals but also fathers mothers sisters and borthers and there is a limit to individual freedoms. Limits are imposed upon us by society and community also. We can not act irresponsibly at the cost of damaging or upsetting those ones closest to us. you HAVE TO tell her right away and tell her that you are getting exteremely upset. She does not have the right to be weird in the name of liberty at a community like yours.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): whats wrong with you...dont you realise mother are sexy too....just because you have a child or get older (we all do) doesnt mean you have to dress in some pathetic way society tells you...your mother is her own woman...good on her for dressing however SHE likes...get over it!
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A
female
reader, calamitysil +, writes (23 November 2007):
I take it we are talking bellybuttons here, not oranges or the navy..oops!
Seriously, your mother is an adult and if she chooses to dress the way she does, it's her issue, not yours. I know cultural issues play a role here, but she's a person in her own right and is entitled to her own opinions. You need to focus on your own life, which sounds a bit dull if all you worry about is her bellybutton! Get a life (your own)and appreciate your mother for who she is, as you yourself say she is rural, traditional, caring. She sounds great...hope you follow in her footsteps ;-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): Your lucky to have a mother with enough confidence to show her tum, not many 50 year olds would do that. Just get over it.
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A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (23 November 2007):
Hi there, You sound just a little controlling and condescending toward your mother.
She sounds like a free spirit who does not care what others think of her, only what makes her and her husband happy. you have no say in how she dresses regardless of your religion.
If her husband, your father, has no problem with how she dresses, and she is happy that way, then what business is it of yours? what right do you have to judge her for being attractive nd enjoying her own femininity?
keep you nose out of her business and ignore the comments of those too shallow to embrace the wonderful person she is.
I pity your future wife if you try to control her the way you try to control your mother.
this is 2007 not 1707 ok.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): I think you have to realise that as well as being your mother, she is also a human being with the same needs and desires as everyone else on the planet.
If she likes showing off her navel that is up to her. I would guess that you like to see other women, as long as they are not your mother, showing off their navels and possibly much more.
The way she dresses is her decision, and as long as your father does not object, there should not be a problem with this.
Phil
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