A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 14 and I feel like my life is almost falling apart.1. my parents had a huge argument and are still not talking and it's getting to me.2.my group of friends have totally split now and I only hang around with two other girls.3.I have no boyfriend 4.I am arguing a lot5.the group of others girls that we somtimes hang with are bitches and always ask my friends that they stole to go shopping and things and never invite me or my two other friends.6.I am always in the house.It is really upsetting me, how can I cheer myself up? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): find a hobby and pursue it. being at home the whole day isn't too bad. find something you like doing. for example, reading, drawing, giving advice (on dead cupid), watching movies, hanging out with friends, meditating. whatever it is do something productive. learn to be strong. don't let people get through you. learn to be happy by yourself b/c honestly in the end it is a good quality to have. you are young right now so you can have a heads start. find your intellect. read a interesting book. find a hobby. learn to be strong alone. learn to live w/o a boyfriend; learn to survive w/o being emotionally dependent. however, approach your parents and tell them that they are really affecting you regarding their arguments. but other then that i hope i helped. it sounds really weird when you read what i am saying at first, but as you live life you'll realize being a loner and learning how to enjoy it is a good quality.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): I am so sorry that you are having some stuggles I feel for your situation!! PLEASE read to the end before you decide this advice (or part of it) is worth trying, okay, thank you!!
1. Your parents are not even aware of the pain they are causing you. While they are fighting (arguing) they are self involved. They may have serious issues or petty ones, regardless of this, YOU must TELL them how you are feeling about all of the issues you stated. If you feel that you can not tell them, then tell an other adult who is sensitive, smart, and who is worthy of your trust and respect. Not every one we know or love are safe people.
2.Friends are an important part of life. It is usualy at your age when kids change and there paths seperate and there is a period of adjustment that has to be made. Try to find friends who will lift you up and share similar values, morals, interests, and goals as you have. It can be a very lonely time, but when you are alone take that opportunity to get to know yourself. Journaling, reading playing an instrument, crafting of any kind, painting, drawing, poetry, designing a new outfit or just about anything you can think of will help you with your self discovery. Truely try new things and don't be afraid to fail. Sometimes we learn the most when we do.
3. Fourteen is such a fragile age. Why are you in a hurry to have a boyfriend? Boys are going to start noticing you soon enough. I feel that he should be an accessory to who you are. But if you are insecure or are trying to run from your troubles, well, that is when your judgement might be way off its mark. Be carefull!!! Boys will tell a girl anything to get her into bed (sex) he will even tell her he loves her. Try to be content with you and always have patience with yourself and the boys. They are going through their own changes and time is always a good idea. Take your time to get to know them. Let them get to know you and your family. If they don't want to know your family (or friends) they are not respecting all that you are. You and all people deserve to have safe, real, and tender LOVE. If you don't rush it and you hold yourself to high standards it will come and you will be glad that you waited. You are the only one that can choose what you get, so don't settle!!!!
4. As for the argueing, what are you trying to get people to hear. Arguing sometimes can mean that you don't feel HEARD. It is also very common for people your age to be a little more arguementative. It is because you are trying to figure out who you are seperate from your family and friends, and trying to figure out what you stand for as a human being. Don't argue over the small stuff. Maybe you could join the DEBATE team at your school. Some of the greatest people in the world were professional arguers.
(Winston Churchhill, Abe Lincoln, Einstien, well he argued the theory of relativity and people still remember his name (fondly, even).
5. I would so not worry about those girls, they are just not the girls for you. Why would you want to hang out with people that you yourself describe as bitches. Just be greatful that you don't have to communicate with them on a regular basis. Really work on being the best that YOU can be with the friends you have and remember to keep it REAL. Most people my age don't have the same friends as they did in high school. I know that it is tough, but popularity is relevant only to the point, that "We are all popular in the group of our own friends"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. As for always being in the house. Are you in there because you want to be? If so, enjoy all the things that you can do in the house. If you are in the house and you don't want to be, well think about what is keeping you inside? Are you afraid of something? If so talk about it with some one who has earned your trust and respect. There are lots of cool things to do outside. Just try something and if you don't like it try something else. It isn't always going to be like this even though it appears that way. Just breathe.
I hope you have found this helpful. I am a 44 yr old mother of a 24 yr old daughter and a 15 yr old son. I have personally felt the way you are, my daughter was also this way. We are both deep thinkers as I expect you are also. Embrace who you are. The world needs you and this is just a temporary moment in your life.
My son is the exact polar opposite and he has his own set of concerns, so we are all going thru something.
God Bless You!!!!!!
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reader, loverman86 +, writes (24 November 2007):
 hey i know someone that is goin through the same thing, but can i ask yooh a question, do u by any chance, go to school in the southwest of england near bristol...... answer that and i will post some advice. cuz i know what ur goin through. btw im actually 14
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): Hey you think you've had it bad, I'm the same age as you and when I first started High School, eventually all my friends from Primary left me, and I got bullied by loads of people. So I went through 2 years of being friendless and lonely, me, my mum and sisters were chucked out of our house, so I spent 6 months livng at my Uncle's and hardly seeing my family, which was because of my mum arguing with my stepdad. It does'nt matter what happens as long as you have family and friends who love you and stick by you, I got through very, very hard times, so can you.
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reader, calamitysil +, writes (23 November 2007):
 I feel for you, really! It's not always easy being a teenager and with all those hormones whizzing around, you will feel up and down.This is normal, we've all been through it :-)
You know, sometimes you're better off with just 2 friends who are really special, than many "friends" who you hang around with but do not connect with. So value their friendship and work hard to be a good friend too. Be a good listener, do fun things together, this will get you out of the house. Shutting yourself away in the house will make you more miserable and expose you to your parents who are having issues with each other. Doesn't sound like a fun place to be!
As for boyfriends, they'll come along eventually.Work on cheering yourself up, doing things you enjoy.Blokes won't go near you if you're miserable, they're attracted to fun girls! And never expect a bloke to be the answer to your happiness, something I learned way too late in life.Only you can make yourself happy and be your own best friend. Take care!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): 1. You need to talk to your parents and help them understand your feelings. If this doesent work, call a helpline or visit the childline website.
2. Maybe you could try making new friends at school or in your area.
3. at your age, boyfreinds really dont matter. Im your age and i really dont care. You will have loads of time for that.
4. This is probably a result of your problems building up so try to calm down in a situation.
5. Tell these new girls how you feel and try to ask them to stop hanging round with you if things get any worse.
6. Join a club or something, so you can meet new people and get out.
Hope i helped!
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female
reader, blueberry xo  +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Hi, it sounds like you are going through a lot right now :(
I think for number 1, if you are really worried about them, you should talk to them. Tell them that you're worried and you want them to sort their problems out. Unfortunately, it's up to them to really fix their problems, not you, so the end result is up to them. For number two, try joining a club at school or doing a new sport or activity where you can meet new people. I know it sounds old-fashioned and boring, but it's true, you will make new friends. For number three, I am 15 and I have never had a boyfriend either. Just start talking to guys, make friends with them, or if you have a crush try to see if they are interested. A lot of times boys are too shy to ask a girl out because they are afraid of rejection. For number four, try to calm down and do something that really gets out your anger in a postive way. If you're athletic, do a sport, if you're artistic, draw, paint, or write. For number 5, try looking for new friends, like I said in number two. Or, try talking it out with them in a calm, civilized way to try to tell them you don't like their behaviour. For number six, get out and try something new! Volunteer, ride your bicycle, walk, run, do something productive and take action! Do something for others, and you'll feel better. Really. I hope I've helped you!
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