A
female
age
30-35,
*il-angel182
writes:I'm 16 and wanting to lose my virginity to my 20 yo bf of 4 months.I would prefer i told my mum cause then i have someone to talk to about it but i'm not sure how she would react. I know she would prefer if i waited till i was older but i told her that i put myself on the pill for my periods and she didnt freak like i thought she would but now i get the feeling she thinks we're already had sex. I want to tell her but scared that i will disappoint her or anger her. Any advice on how to talk to her about this without upsetting her to much?
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female
reader, R.Wren +, writes (16 December 2007):
 u sed that ur on the pill and that ur mum thinks youve done something, hows she reacting to that? if its not bad im sure that if u told her that you want to do somink wid ya bf shed only give you advice,but remember u have still alot of time to get to kno your bf.
Goodluck.
R.Wren.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (29 November 2007):
 Well, it should be private. Maybe have a girls night... go to a movie first, then go get some ice cream or some dinner and while you're enjoying your time together, tell her that you want to talk. Bond together first. Enjoy each other. Giggle together.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, lil-angel182 +, writes (29 November 2007):
lil-angel182 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for the advice but i would i even start the conversation as its not something that usually comes up and where and when would be the best time?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 November 2007):
How wonderful that you want to talk with your Mom. I think she'll be proud that you want to be open with her and you want to make good decisions and you want to be safe. Does she like your boyfriend? If she does, it will be a lot easier to bring this up.
Tell her that you and your boyfriend are so happy together and want to express your love in a physical way. Tell her that you want to be safe and responsible and ask her if maybe she could give you some advice or go with you to the doctor so that you can ask questions together.
Keep in mind that at first she might be a little shocked, but tell her that you trust her and you wanted to come to her for advice because you respect her opinion. If she thinks you should wait for a bit, maybe it's a good idea! You are young, and waiting is always a good idea.
However, you seem really mature and I'm pleased that you're making mature decisions.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, calamitysil +, writes (28 November 2007):
 I think she'll be far happier if you told her your intentions and that you're taking precautions. You sound very sensible to me! Has she met your boyfriend? You're right, I'm sure she already knows it's a matter of time, so be brave ;-) Point out to her that you've thought long and hard about it, and that you're on the pill, and make sure also that you stock up on some condoms as the pill alone won't stop you getting STD's. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (28 November 2007):
 I think it's great that you want to be open with your mom. I think if you go to her with a discussion, willing to listen to her reasons for wanting you to wait (and I mean really listen) then she'll be willing to listen to your reasons to want to go ahead. She may change your mind.
You can always lose your virginity later. There are lots of reasons to wait (I lost mine to someone I loved at 17 and regretted it almost immediately).
Talk to your mom openly. If you listen so will she. Good luck.
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