A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months, at the start of the relationship we had sex 3 or 4 times a week. After the first month 3 or 4 turned into 1 or 2 times a week, now 6 months into our relationship we have sex once or twice a month. When we do get round to having sex she never puts any effort in, she's like "hurry up and get it over with". How can i get my girlfriends sex drive back?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Do you have sex or do you make love? What I am trying to say is, do you just have intercourse or do you spend a lot of time kissing, cuddling, fondling, giving her oral and things like that before the intercourse? Do you ever give her oral orgasms? If it is just intercourse, without the lovemaking and without her ever having an orgasm, then it will not be enjoyable for her after the initial excitement has worn off. It is almost always exciting at first having sex with someone new, but it takes a lot more than that to make the enjoyment last.
As Samutsen said, I don't think that she is having orgasms. Some women find it difficult to have orgasms with intercourse alone and some can only have oral orgasms. My wife can have both, but normally can only have an orgasm with intercourse if I lick her ear during intercourse. I can only easily do this in the missionary position. She enjoys other positions, but rarely has an orgasm in them.
It is fine to have a quickie on occasions, but most of the sex should take time, with a lot of time spent warming the woman up. I love giving a woman oral sex and even the thought of doing it gets me excited. It is also enjoyable for me to know that I can give her the excitement that she likes. I am not saying that you do not do all the right things, but just telling you what i have found that makes a woman enjoy sex. This experience is only from 3 women that told me that they liked what I did for them. I don't know what other women think, except for what I have read. Good luck.
A
female
reader, calamitysil +, writes (3 December 2007):
 How is the rest of your relationship? If things are not going well, this will definitely affect her wanting to have sex with you. Resentment is a big passion killer. Another is poor personal hygiene and bad habits. You really need to sit and talk to her and find out what's bothering her. Maybe it's nothing to do with you, and she's having other problems you don't know about?
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 Are you making sure she is having fun, I mean is she getting orgasm.? I dont think she is having that. So you should start there and you have to find out in what way she might get it. It may be a medical problem though.
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