A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's a girl I really like and know through my summer job. We talk quite a bit and I enjoy her company. We can be really honest with each other, she tells me about things how she felt a bit overwhelmed away at school or goings on in her life, etc. I asked her a while back if she wanted to hang out sometime, she said yes.A week later I asked her if she'd want to go see a movie. She said there was nothing she wanted to see and her parents needed her at home that particular night. 10 minutes later she gets back in touch with me and tells her there was some art house movie she wanted to see. Me being an idiot, I told her I didn't want her to HAVE to shoehorn in time for me if she couldn't, so we called it off. A week later I asked her again closer to the weekend when she would be off from work, she said she was busy Friday and Saturday but not Sunday, when I was busy (she didn't know that at the time). She seemed really apologetic about it and explained to me she's a person who doesn't have a lot of free time (which seems true, it seems she rarely hangs out with anyone else from work and doesn't seem to do too much with her own friends going by Facebook). Just last night, I threw some possible days out there (weekday nights), she explained again that she was busy for all of them. But in the interim, she let me have her phone number and let me text her and she did respond. Recently, I asked her if she wanted to see a movie again one night. She gave me a night that she thought she would potentially be free and told me she would text me the night before to figure out what her schedule would look like. Guess what? She wasn't free. But I was texting her later in that day and again, she would always respond and is friendly.Here's the big thing: While it sounds like she's always making excuses, in actuality: She IS really busy. I can never seem to get her at the right moment though. And I'm getting concerned because she leaves for school in just under 4 weeks, I'll never get the perfect time with her.It seems like she at least wants to be friends, which I can take, but at the same time I feel like I'm just wasting my time on her. She has had plenty of chances to give me the cold shoulder or flat-out say she's not interested and even saying she's busy shows form of acknowledgment, and like I said she can be really honest with me about things. So I really have no clue what do to...
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2013): She gave you a hint. She will include you when she's hanging out with her "friends." That means she sees you as one of her friends. She won't come right out and say she has any interest in seeing you alone. You can still ask her out alone, but don't set your heart on it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK, so at the end of last week, I sent her an e-mail basically calling her out on her crap the whole summer and how much she's been hurting me. Once she realized how much pain she has caused, she apologized. She says she's going to make more of an effort to invite me when she's hanging out with her friends and that she wants to meet my friends. She is concerned that us two hanging out alone may just cause more problems. The way she talks she still wants me around, we'll always text each other and she responds consistently but I haven't asked her to hang out recently. Would I still have a chance with her?
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A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (4 August 2013):
 The proper thing to do would be to call a girl in the beginning of a week and ask her for a date on the weekend. If you call after Wednesday, don't hope for a girl to have time for you. She may already have plans for the weekend. So beat her to it, and ask her to dedicate some time before she gets a chance to make other plans.
Because of how you describe her, it seems that she wants to hang out with you, just some things keep getting in the way.
So just keep trying, but try in advance
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): I think she is stringing you along because she likes you and thinks you're nice.
She doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and some girls are so nice that they don't know how to tell a nice boy they aren't interested in dating. Just being friends.
There is also a possibility that she is seeing a guy, but she isn't really that serious about him. She may prefer his company over yours. So, if he happens to be around, she makes up an excuse to blow you off. She is most often busy; but not always with work.
Come on, she's an 18-20 year-old girl home for the summer. Do you honestly believe she isn't going to take some of the summer off to enjoy herself? The odds are, there is a guy involved; and he hasn't committed to her. So she makes herself available just in-case.
You may continue to contact her and try to get a date. I think you're more in the "friend-zone" with this young lady.
She doesn't want to lead you on. You seem like a really sweet guy.
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