A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a culture-related question about flirting versus making friends. My boyfriend gave out his phone number to 3 girls he said were flirting with him. When I told him I didn't like it he claimed that this is how he makes new friends.Now, I have asked several friends of mine from a total of 3 different nations (multicultural here), and they all say that I am right, this is not a way to make friends. If they were just talking friendly and he gave them his number it would be ok, but when they were flirting with him.... not so much okay any longer. My boyfriend comes from the US, and so his claim is that this is just him making new friends and that it is harmless.I don't know if I believe his story. Should I? I always thought the language of love was international, but clearly americans don't speak the language like the rest of the world? And can anyone explain to me why on earth he would even want contact with these women?? I do not think he would cheat, and since I don't think these women are interested in friendship, what is he thinking? Why would he want to meet up with them? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Hi, its me the question asker.
My boyfriend later changed his explanation to the girls starting off with flirting, but then they were just friendly afterwards. Does that mean it could be innocent? I met another guy that said if a girl started flirting, but then just was friendly, he would have thougt they could be friends and given them his number.
Im just unsure if that changes anything at all. Because for us girls, if a guy flirts with us and then turns friendly, it means he is still trying to make a move on you, just not that obviously.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Ok as I guy I can tell you that he still aint ready to just be with one girl, he likes the attention and he should never get a girls number or give his own to another girl who flirts with him, you can make friends another way. DON'T TRUST HIM!!
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A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 I agree. My young adulthood I spent in US (starting from 14) and before that I came from Russia. This is a lame excuse about making new friends. If you respect the woman you are with, you would not give out your phone number to other women who are clearly interested in you for more than friendship.
It is disrespectful to you and your feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): It doesn't matter what country you come from, guys don't give out their numbers to random girls to make friends. We do it so we can hook up with them.
We give out our numbers to people in work, college, school etc but girls that are flirting with us no. Obviously not. Flirting is a sign of attraction and sexual interest not friendship.
Would you openly flirt with a guy and get his number if you were only interested in being friends? No, because that's not how you make friends. You make friends through common interests not randomly and through flirting. He's lying to you. He's keeping his options open so he can hook up with these girls. Basically he's playing you.
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A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl +, writes (27 September 2010):
yeah hes keeping his options open, i say you tell him "i made friends tooooooooo with people from MY CULTURE SUCKER!"
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A
female
reader, RennieGeek +, writes (27 September 2010):
I'm from the US and I can safely say this is not how we make new friends. I would go with your gut, and say he is feeding you a line. He may not cheat, but something just doesn't seem right to me about the situation.
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