A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Theirs this girl at school that really likes me and she is a awesome person. She likes me a whole lot and wants to date me so bad but there's a problem. I'm gay and I'm not interested and I'm DL gay so that's why girls like me because I'm not a obvious gay guy. I haven't told her because I kinda don't wont people to know I'm gay. So I kept a lie going saying that I like another girl and her. I didn't wont tell tell her I wasn't interested because she is such a nice girl and her feelings are is to hurt. So the lie I told about liking another girl and her is starting to anger her and I hate to make her mad and sad because it's really killing her. She has even said she would wait until make a choice on the two girl thing ( which goes back to the lie I told her) I scared to tell her I'm gay but I now that they may make things better. But I'm scared of what she might say or tell. I don't now what to do because a lot of girls like me and I usually act like I'm not interested and it works but not this time. Im not interested. What can I do about this situation? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (7 April 2012):
 If you are DL gay and plan to stay this way until you are ready to reveal who you are, you have to keep lying. Because like you said you don't know how she will react and whom she will tell your secret. Girls are not good at keeping secrets like that to themselves.
But the best way to let her down without hurting her feelings is to tell her the truth. And the truth is that you are not interested in her, but because you care about her, you want her to find a guy who will be interested in her. Tell her you don't want to waste her time. That she is a great girl and you want her friendship but nothing more than that. If you tell a girl the straight truth, even if it's painful for her to hear, there is nothing that she can say to that. It's the truth, it is what it is. She will have to accept it.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 I agree that you must not lie. Just say "You're great and et cetera, but I'm not interested".
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