A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for over two years. In that time we had broke up and became friends with benefits for about 3 months after which he asked me back out and we dated for over a year and a half. He recently broke up with me, and would want to be friends with benefits. I almost want to go back to that because I think it might lead to him wanting to get back together. I just don't know what to do, I still want him in my life. Thanks for any feedback
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broke up, friend with benefits, get back together, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (4 August 2013):
 Why would you even want him to want to be with you for the wrong reasons? He is suppose to want to be with YOU not because you are convenient for him. Cumon! You're practically allowing yourself to be used. You sound really desperate when you say that you want to have a FWB relationship with him so that he can come back to you . . . Like another aunt has already said, he actually doesn't want you, he just wants the goods you're so easily offering.
Now i'm sure you can do better. Leave this guy alone! Don't meet up with him, talk to him or somuch as look at him. He isn't worth it. Just move on.
A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (4 August 2013):
 You seem to be ok with the fact that he broke up with you for the 2nd time after dating you 1year and a half, so I assume you guys split up on friendly terms.
My question to you is why would you still want him in your life? Why wouldn't you want to let this relationship be a part of your life but let it stay in the past and make the new steps toward a better future.
I mean better future because your present wasn't great, otherwise you would not be broken up with the guy.
I personally think that it's a great idea to be FWB with your ex, but only when there are no feelings of love from either of you, and both of you are looking for someone else, dating, and going on with your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013): He doesn't need to take you back. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? He knows you're weak, and he can manipulate you with an empty-promise. You don't mind.
Your love-life is on hold. You can't just move on, and find someone who really wants you. You're his backup vagina.
Always available when there's a dry-spell. The sad thing is you're willing to just settle for FWB; without any hope. He must have very little respect for you.
I envision the scene of the sad little girl clinging to her father's leg; as he walks out the door. Dragging her pleading little body on the dirty floor, and ignoring her tears. Sad image isn't it? Not far from your reality. You just can't let go.
If it works for you to be dragged along, then settle for crumbs. It's beneath the dignity of a real woman to let a man always have the upper-hand. Free-Sex is no substitute for real love and respect. It satisfies only one need.
He doesn't have to love you, you've already let him know you'll settle for much less.
I feel deeply for you. I am very sad for such desperation in anyone.
I hope someone good for you will come along; and distract you. That you'll be so taken by him, you can't resist. You're ex will wonder what the hell is wrong with you.
Believe it can happen, and it will.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2013):
 I have to be honest and say, if a guy wants FWB, he doesn't WANT YOU - he wants a familiar vagina to park his dick in every now and then.
If you two keep being on and off, it's obviously not really working with you two - so WHY keep trying? You are both wasting time here.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (3 August 2013):
 So: you were dating this man for more than two years to begin with, but then you broke up - did he break up with you, or did you end it?? - anyway, you got back together as, I suppose, FWB - not entirely clear from what you tell us because you said "(he WOULD WANT to be FWB" - that indicates that possibly you were not FWB; otherwise the way you express it sounds like something he wanted, but had not yet happened).
Be that as it may, where do you want to go with this on-again, off-again relationship? Do you want to marry him?
It seems to me this could be an unending cycle (like being on a merry-go-round)without really getting anywhere definite.
It's up to you. Hope this helps.
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