Sadly, I am in love with a woman, who is not my wife, but who I do love, what should I do?
Q. I am a 29 yr old guy with problems (obviously). I have been married to my wife for just shy of 1 year, though we have been together for over 7 years (met in college, first 2 yrs were not really serious yet). She is about a year younger than me. Five ...
A. 24 July 2009: I must admit this is kind of strange. You met this other girl some 6 years ago (not sure of the actual math on this) but ended up with the one you married? How did this happen? You stated you had a sexual affair with this gal way back when, and ... (read in full...)
I told everyone I dumped him, problem is I haven't actually told him!
Q. I have a little problem, well, it' not really small to me. I've told everyone I’ve dumped my boyfriend, because i really want to, and i will. Just finding it incredibly hard cause i love him, but the bad things outweigh the good by far (i posted...
A. 24 July 2009: I can only guess that you might be a little amusing to be watching now. I can only guess that he might be being told as you read this by one of the people you told. You say you love him, that the bad out weights the good. What are the bad? If ... (read in full...)
Aunts and uncles: Do you feel defeated? Your answers seem to reflect this!
Q. A lot of advice I see given here counsels the person to just cut their losses when the going gets even a little rough. Its sad and pathetic. Is everyone on this site defeated in one way or another? It seems that way from some of the topics, and ...
A. 24 July 2009: Everyone is entitled to their opinion! Everyone has a right to always think they are correct! But if we really want to help others and bond to those closest, then I suggest we all keep our personal feelings out of it, for it might taint the ... (read in full...)
How can I find the right guy for me?
Q. Lately, I've been asking myself should I still become happier than this? I am happy with my kids but sometimes I wish there's more than the three of us. The problem is, there's no chance nor time for dating. The guy I was initially interested in ...
A. 24 July 2009: You have needs just as we have needs that only a partner can satisfy. Finding the best partner starts with frogs and dansels in distress it seems. It takes time and it can be painful, depending on how deep and connected you are willing to seek. F... (read in full...)
Is there a way to ask questions more nicely?
Q. I recently had a problem with my boyfriend. i like talking about our problems to solve them. communication is the key, correct? there's another problem that arises in this, he at times takes forever to answer. i asked him about this as well, he says ...
A. 24 July 2009: This is an excellent question! As a starter, I would highly recommend reading "men are from Mars and women are from Venus". There is a difference. It is strange how both men and women react to certain words, and something I wish K-12 and colleges ... (read in full...)
Help - I've had limited experience, and I'm attracted to an older woman.
Q. I'm 24 and attracted to a 36 year old woman. just recently moved to a new city. We were introduced by a mutual friend. She is incredibly attractive, went to an ivy league college, and has an amazing journalism career. We went to the movies the other ...
A. 24 July 2009: As women get older and have an opportunity to survive on their own, they clearly will call the shots. Take her advice to heart, she is giving you your only warning and if you do not heed her advice, she will squeeze you like a bug. Women with this ... (read in full...)
Would you stay?
Q. I have been married for over 18 years and together with my wife for 25. We have 2 great kids ages from 13 and 15. Here's a brief history first: We both know and admit that we weren't "head over heels" in love when we first married. We had know...
A. 10 June 2009: You have a good woman. If I were you, I'd stay and figure out why I keep screwing up. You do know it is you and not her, right?
It seems those two years you somewhat drifted apart, can you recall the time and understand why, what happened?
I t... (read in full...)
I found Condoms in boyfriend's dresser drawer...is he cheating?!
Q. Okay, so I think my bf of a year and a half is cheating on me. I have thought this for sometime and even caught him in lies about phone calls and text conversations with other women. I confonted him on this and he told me that I am "perfect" and ...
A. 9 June 2009: Any idea how long these condoms have been in his drawer? Possible you never noticed before? Are you sure you have a good count the last time you were in his drawers? If you confront him to many times and he isn't guilty of anything, you wi... (read in full...)
My problem is that I am falling in love with my step son!
Q. my problem is...i recently got married and had a ba y. i'm 22 and my 19 yr old step son recently moved in with his father, myself and his new baby sister. withen the last few weeks i feel that i am falling in love with him. dont get me wrong i love ...
A. 9 June 2009: Sounds like you have missed a part of your youth, and this step son might bring this feeling out. Apparently you have married a much older man.... (read in full...)
He always finishes the job (oral sex), am I not doing it well?
Q. I have been dating my "boyfriend" for about 9 months and we've had a physical relationship for about 6 or less. He obviously wants oral and I have willingly given it. We were firsts for each other and I feel like I am doing the worst possible blow ...
A. 9 June 2009: It might be possible that what you are doing is to intense and he has some fear what might happen. Being biten is one for a man.
You need to talk to him. This is a part of having a partner.... (read in full...)
He wants me to give my virginity to him to show my love
Q. Hey frnds plz............ help me to come out of the complicated situation. For the last 4 years i am in relationship with a married man. Though he never forced me for anything, i was equally involved. we both r Indians and in India this type of ...
A. 9 June 2009: First, I suggest you speak with an elder woman, such as your mom concerning India Customs. We do not know what negative outcomes could confront you if you used American or Western cultures.... (read in full...)
Did I not communicate well enough for him?
Q. Hi, I had met a wonderful guy on line, he is a regional manger, used to travel a lot, finally we got the chance to meet for dinner, before the date he texted me what cuisine that I prefered and he offered to pick me up from my office after wor...
A. 9 June 2009: It is only 3 days, and it is a very new relationship. Don't get paranoid just yet or ever. Life is a struggle, a juggling act, we all deal with it differently. If anything, invite him to a treat/dinner on you.... (read in full...)
He dated me for a dare?
Q. can i have your opinions...i have been dating this guy for 2 months and he ignored me three weeks ago wen we all went to a festival...tho sorted it out, but it hurt my feelings at the time now, he told me that he and a bunch of others were play...
A. 9 June 2009: This is a typical age group of immature games. Not all play them, and not all are aware of these games. It is unacceptable to be playing such games as dares and you have every right to be upset. Not something you want in a partner to kick you to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my marriage because of this problem.
Q. Is it possible that a man who can't make love to his wife, due to erection problems from undiscovered psychological problems, can make love to an other women if he falls in love? I mean my wife thinks, if I get turned on from someone else, I will g...
A. 9 June 2009: It is very possible that another woman can connect with you in a way that you feel at ease, trusting, and that little bad boy will rise to the occassion.
Has your marriage been loving and caring since you first met?
Have you had this problem thro... (read in full...)
He's socially awkward, what do I do?
Q. hi my man is not very social. he is awkward in social situations and around my friends. when we are alone he is so nice and chatty and outgoing. it feels like he has a split personality. its especially hard when my friends etc are like "why are you ...
A. 8 June 2009: Well first, you need to discuss this with him, and explain your concerns and that you still love him. Find out how he feels about it and whether or not it is something he would like to change. If he does, maybe there is a course at a school he can ... (read in full...)
Do all men masturbate even if they have frequent sex?
Q. do all men masturbate even if you have frequent sex? my boyfriend does fairly often, and it makes me feel very insecure, unattractive, un needed,and unwanted.(should it make me feel that way?) he says he loves me and wants us to be together. he also ...
A. 8 June 2009: If your partner is as interested in sex as thy self, then there is no need for masterbating. People are purely unqiue individuals. We cannot dictate or map their behaviors for every second of life; we resemble nature very much. There a... (read in full...)
How to tell my mother that I'm an atheist?
Q. It's no so much of a question that requires an answer, more of a comment with follow-ups I'm an atheist the reason i don't believe in god is because the world is jacked up. I really don't believe in religion because of what it has done for the wor...
A. 8 June 2009: I think you are yet to young to really know. Heck, society has people in their eigthies who is just as unsure or confused. All this means is that you have more searching and exploring and learning to do. It takes time. I will tell you that I ... (read in full...)
My wife is so upset by my erectile problems! How can I help her?
Q. Why do woman, gets so upset from erectal problems of their man? My wife is in emotinal pain because I lost my sex drive after ,I lost my erection. The doctors couldn't tell us waht was going on, and now she says I have no medical reason, so she t...
A. 8 June 2009: Your wife answered your question, she feels she doesn't turn you on. It is as if you verbally told her to her face she doesn't turn you on.
But I also have to say there is a flip side that you may not be aware of. I am making an assumpti... (read in full...)
Why do men not break up with you?
Q. You've helped in the past so here we go again. The NAVY man. I send him texts saying its over, then he reels me back in and i fall for it. Then he ignores my texts over and over again and reels me back in again. Today I told him he was a jerk, bu...
A. 8 June 2009: An amusing way you write I must say.
What you present is a generality about one guy that we do not have enough information on to say one way or another.
But to guess so you have at least something, I will say that if he is in the Navy (like my... (read in full...)
Why are men pushing for a relationship when I am not ready??
Q. Split up w boyfriend still love him but think he is a commitment phobic or just plain too emotional and afraid since he was hurt. I have dated other guys who I have liked and have explained that I am not ready for a realtionship yet but they just ...
A. 8 June 2009: Men want a woman in there life. Those that don't, are going through the same thing you are.
The fear of us humans, is that you see something you like, and if you give that person space, someone else might take them for their own. Men have an easi... (read in full...)
I just want out! I've hung on for the sake of the kids
Q. I've been married for 20 years, but Im near the end of my tether with keeping our marriage going. Here are the main problems I have. Trust. She does not trust me, so much so that I cannot engage in normal activities without her thinking I'm seei...
A. 7 June 2009: The first thing I would like to address, are the children and having others besides yourselves watch them for a certain length of time. This is a must process to insure your child’s well being and safety. Just as yourself, her parents control... (read in full...)
Why would be be buying another brand of condoms that he never uses with me?
Q. Last time I was at my boyfriend's house, I checked the drawer near his bed where he keeps his condoms and noticed that he had two types there, two of the kind he always uses with me and one other different brand that we don't use, that looked old ...
A. 7 June 2009: I'm sure he was nervous because he felt you were either implying or getting ready to accuse him of something.... (read in full...)
If girls can't get over an ex does it mean it was true love?
Q. why girls can't get over an ex relationship and move on is that mean they are weak or they know how to really love which include if I love I'll never forget?...
A. 6 June 2009: Depends I guess how you look at it.
When you break up, you had a close connection, a bond, no matter how fragile it may have been. From birth, we've had a connection and have experienced seperation from our parents, no matter how bried it may have... (read in full...)
10 reasons its her fault the relationship didnt work
Q. Here are the top 10 reasons that it's HER fault the relationship didn't work. Reason 1: You aren't cool enough. Guys love cool girls, its probably our favorite characteristic for a girl we want to keep around longer than 2 hours. The problem...
A. 6 June 2009: Sounds like a little frustration going on here. As josephy stated, men are men and women are women, we can't transform ourselves into the other. Why? Because we don't hang out with each other like we have with our own sex, getting to know their ... (read in full...)
In a 3 year relationship, with a man who is disrespectful, controlling and cruel in ways, why do I still want to be with him?
Q. I need some advice on my relationship itr my first proper one so i havent really got anything to compare it too. I see my boyfriend 2-3 times a wk. After 3 yrs! We dont live in the same town but only 30 mins away! Its his attitude towards me and ...
A. 6 June 2009: Is it possible when he discusses another woman, that he might feel you have placed a wall between you two? That you refrain from getting to close? It could be a natural response.
I think what you have is a disconnect. You both are not communic... (read in full...)
My fiancee brings up my past and is mentally abusive, what should I do?
Q. hi andrew, i live with my fiancee and its been two months that we have been living together but we have known each other for a year now. but there is this problem that we got when i do something wrong or a mistake he agravates it and start br...
A. 6 June 2009: First, do not try to bring him closer to God if he isn't ready for it, this alone will make him made. People do not want to do what they don't want to do, for whatever reason, don't pressure him.
Some of his anger no doubt is because of pressure... (read in full...)
Why would be be buying another brand of condoms that he never uses with me?
Q. Last time I was at my boyfriend's house, I checked the drawer near his bed where he keeps his condoms and noticed that he had two types there, two of the kind he always uses with me and one other different brand that we don't use, that looked old ...
A. 6 June 2009: If you have something on his mind, good communication between you requires you to ask him. Be gentle and don't be defensive.
It is quite possible he is playing alone, experiementing, and the condoms is just a part of this experiementation for clea... (read in full...)
Should I let my wife give me a golden shower?
Q. My wife wants to pee on me. Should I let her? It would probably turn me on, so I don't see any reason not to let her if it makes her happy and horny, I just don't want it in my mouth, which should be my choice. Any thoughts please?...
A. 6 June 2009: I agree with others. Something she feels she has a need to do; you are agreeable with the exception of getting pee in your mouth and eyes. I hope in the future though, you are more open and honest to discuss this with her. IF you feel placed on a ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to do this with a prostitute?
Q. MOD NOTE: Two questions from this person have been put into one post, as they are of a similar subject. I am wanting to experience a golden shower with a prostitute. Is this safe enough. Could I catch any diseases? Is oral sex safe with a prostit...
A. 6 June 2009: There are no guarantees with a prostitute that you will not end up with a disease.
You might want to set up your shower to explore this golden shower idea, just close your eyes, and with a gizmo, turn on a stream of water.
Instead of a ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend forgive my cheating?
Q. i ve cheated on my boyfriend and asked for forgivenness but he hardens up whereas he has cheated too although not caught redhanded but he still makes life difficult for me....
A. 6 June 2009: Some good points made, and with the little/no background about you two, it is hard to answer.
He cheated, but doesn't sound like their is rock solid proof.
If he did cheat, he maybe feeling your fling was payback, which is a form of rubbing ... (read in full...)
Why does he want sex only when he is ready?
Q. Why does my husband only want to try and have sex with me after I am already asleep and then when I wake, he will not kiss me, love on me or anything, just wam bam, and if I try to proceed any other time he turns me away, it is always only when he ...
A. 6 June 2009: He apparenly has issues, and you both need to create quite time and discuss them, maybe with a little wine and fireplace.
He sounds a bit like the old style male, and how he was raised and what was expected of him as a child, which grew into his ... (read in full...)
I like her but she does drugs! How do I let her down?
Q. There's this girl at work I began to like quite a bit over the last few weeks. She is cute, funny, friendly and just an easy going person to be around. I'm a little shy when it comes to this stuff, but I began giving out little hints that I fan...
A. 6 June 2009: Be honest, you like her allot, but her drug use is worrisome that it may cause the relationship serious problems latter, and you just don't want to get further attached that you both are latter miserable over a then breakup.... (read in full...)
Are guys being selfish if they stop having sex after they orgasm?
Q. This is a question for men. Can you control how long you keep your erection for? Is it subconcious and out of your control or is it somewhat of a 'skill'? The reason I ask is because my boyfriend now can keep it hard for as long as we want to have ...
A. 6 June 2009: After ejaculation, the brain signals the sexual parts to shut down. There is nothing a man can do at this point but to wait and start again at another time, even 30 minutes latter. It has nothing to do with being selfish. What needs to be done, ... (read in full...)
Are we over because I had sex with ex?
Q. I went to a party with my girlfriend. She's new at my school (she has trouble making friends) and we been to together 3 months now. She kept clinging to me (she doesn`t really know anyone at the party besides me) she would`t let me 4 secords to ...
A. 6 June 2009: Your girlfriend has every right to be upset with yu, and the quicker you learn why, the better your future will be in a relationship.
Very bad what you did, very bad.... (read in full...)
Am I normal to want to masturbate?
Q. well i am 18 and here recently i have been like really horny is this normal? everybody in my family says it's wrong to masturbate and do stuff before your married, so i don't really masturbate alot cause i feel bad when i do is that stupid? i know ...
A. 6 June 2009: Masterbating is very normal. It allows you to get close and intimate with your own flesh and learn more about your body. Self pleasure is needed when you do not have someone close to do it to you.... (read in full...)
If you really loved your wife would you let her sleep with another man?
Q. How do you know when a man truly loves a woman. What do they do, say, act like? For the men if you really loved your wife would you let her sleep with someone else? ...
A. 6 June 2009: For letting my wife or even girlfriend sleep with another man? Never! Love has nothing to do with it, as quoted by Tina Turner.
I suggest you read "the seven levels of intimacy, by matthew kelly" to get a better understanding of what most men... (read in full...)
My wife has doubled in size, I've lost interest in sex..do I leave her to get her to get in shape?
Q. When I proposed to my wife she was 5' and a perfect size zero. She had lovely long hair and walked like a graceful lady. Exactly my type. Now after 15 yrs of marriage she's a size 14-16 w/ short hair and walks like a chimp. Doubling her weight ...
A. 6 June 2009: Walks like a chimp? Poor wife!
You may have contributed to this, ever thought of this? How?
I suggest you get creative, such as taking her out a little more in public, get some activities going, such as walks in a park. Maybe direct the... (read in full...)
All of his girlfriends including me look similar to his mom!
Q. I think I look like my boy friend's mum she's blonde, medium height and slim with big boobs, and blue eyes, and though I don't exactly look like her, I am the same, and in fact, I think all his other girl friends have been the same He is a way ...
A. 6 June 2009: This is normal for both boys and girls to find partners that are similar to their parents, especially when the relationships are and have been good.... (read in full...)
Guy next door has 9" penis and I'm sure my wife would be fascinated by it
Q. My wife mentioned tonight that the girl next door told her that her husbands penis is 9" long, we get on really well with them but now things have changed in my mind. My penis is only 5" and I now imagine my wife to be fascinated by his size. My ...
A. 6 June 2009: Can you put your mind at rest? Not sure what that means.
The power of suggestion may have only made her thing about either playing with her toys, or hopping on you.
Do you consider yourself a prude at all? Maybe what you need, and I am sure sh... (read in full...)
I just want out! I've hung on for the sake of the kids
Q. I've been married for 20 years, but Im near the end of my tether with keeping our marriage going. Here are the main problems I have. Trust. She does not trust me, so much so that I cannot engage in normal activities without her thinking I'm seei...
A. 6 June 2009: The human psyche is the hardest thing to maintain with any superiority.
If we could communicate telepathically, or connect and share data between us like a computer, we wouldn’t have problems in relationships. We would also be able to mentally over... (read in full...)
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