A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi andrew, i live with my fiancee and its been two months that we have been living together but we have known each other for a year now. but there is this problem that we got when i do something wrong or a mistake he agravates it and start bringing back my past. the problems we have had before and he continues to bring problems i have tried to make him close to god by reading the bible and praying with him but still yet he still is that kind of person who keeps grievances and it relly makes me sick and when he gets angry he becomes very brutal what do ii do
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 I wonder why you think you can force religion on someone? Are you a missionary? Please understand that when someone feels forced to accept something as unprovable as man's conception of religion that people tend to want to have CHOICES. And they will instinctively buck any attempt to have religion shoved down their throat.
For all religions are MAN MADE CONCEPTS, and each religion demands adherents to follow its Cannons without question
There is a vast difference between Religion and Spirituality. They are not the same.
And I am afraid that pushing religion on someone is not a good way of getting a point across.
As far as this past, you are not giving any of us enough specific information to really be able to give you good advice. What exactly about your past with this man is he having trouble getting over? So please be more specific because we would like to give you the best advice possible(I'm sure everyone here does) but if you did something that you shouldn't have, then it is beyond your right to demand a timetable for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is very overrated, as I think you may be finding out. Because unless the problem is resolved to everyone's satisfaction in an honest manner, he may tell you he forgives you, but really doesn't. And judging by your statement that he is becoming brutal, you need to resolve the issue as soon as possible if you want to continue in this relationship
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 leave him and never speak to him again you are worth more this man will never change he is obviously dominant and will continue to do this. the past is the past and if he cant keep it their then thats his fault and for being angry and brutal dont put up with it walk away and find someone who deserves you and treats you like a princess good luck aphex xx
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A
male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (6 June 2009):
First, do not try to bring him closer to God if he isn't ready for it, this alone will make him made. People do not want to do what they don't want to do, for whatever reason, don't pressure him.
Some of his anger no doubt is because of pressure. Whether from you, a coworker, boss, family, and he is having a hard time dealing with it. If true, like most of us, he hasn't been taught, nor has he learned how to deal with it. Be patient.
I can only suggest the reason he is bringing up the past is because he is still hurt by it, and that communication between you have not reached a level that you both can feel better or are able to let it go.
It seems he has a lot on his mind. Being loving, caring to him, but also standing up to not be treated mean is also your right.
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