A
female
age
41-50,
*lairyfairy
writes:I need some advice on my relationship itr my first proper one so i havent really got anything to compare it too. I see my boyfriend 2-3 times a wk. After 3 yrs! We dont live in the same town but only 30 mins away! Its his attitude towards me and everything. He makes comments bout other girls like shes got nice legs. Shes got a nice body! Look at those boobs! Hes says things like women fall at his feet. He likes to make people laugh and sometimes women see it as a come on! Im not really aloud to go to weddings or nites out with him. Cos he says he has to watch what i say! And there would be loads of his ex around so he would get it in the neck from me! But then the next day he would say that he was talking to her and her and she said this! And i see photo on facebook of him having a laugh and picking some girl up which is his friend. And i just think thats nice im not allowed to go but there u r having fun with your friend while im lonely. Also i always have to ask to c him never the other way! I managed the other wk end to spend sat and sun together was planning on spending sun evening having a takeaway. Then all of a sudden he says sun afternoon im going home the darts finals on i forgot. I was like what? Were meant to be having a nite together? He said but its the final. I just said fuck off then.after us not speaking for a while he said i wont go home but u better get out this mood or i will! Like it was my fault then for wanting to spend time together. He hurt my feelings yet again and i could just of cried .im compared to a darts match. And he made me like shit all evening! This is just the type of thing his does! He hurts me makes me paranoid.depressed.unhappy. Bv yet when i dont c him i miss him. But why cos when hes with me hes making comments like have u put on weight? When i havent! Im not being paranoid am i? This isnt right is it? Why do i feel like i cant do any better? I think i cling because hes a good looking bloke that other want cos hes charming to everyone else but me! Im so crushed inside.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (7 June 2009):
 bring your head above the c louds and get rid of that looser you will feel better as a person and as a woman good luck aphex
A
female
reader, blairyfairy +, writes (6 June 2009):
blairyfairy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou so much. I know its not me. Just sometimes im so low in myself i cant see through the dark clouds.
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A
female
reader, some gurl  +, writes (6 June 2009):
Get rid of this guy, even if you missed him at the beginning, you will get over it easily, it seems like you never had a good time with him to remember.
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A
female
reader, gRaa +, writes (6 June 2009):
 No man should treat a woman so badly!
Have you ever thought by living in a different neighbourhood - anything could happen without you realizing? And you see him so little you can never realize what is really going on? Three years is a long time, but if you ask me, it isnt worth it if you dont see him often. I recently finished things with my boyfriend because we never talked, we hadnt even hugged and we were together for 5 in a half months, he couldnt even keep track of how long we were together and blamed it on his "bad-memory". That just proves how many boys think they can disrespect STRONG and INDEPENDANT woman like us. All I am saying that,. No woman needs a man to complete her life, even though it would make life a lot easier!
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A
male
reader, rocknroll  +, writes (6 June 2009):
Is it possible when he discusses another woman, that he might feel you have placed a wall between you two? That you refrain from getting to close? It could be a natural response.
I think what you have is a disconnect. You both are not communicating the same way you did when you first started dating. This is normal in relationship, I believe. There is the initial courting, and then when we get settled in, other factors, such as work, friends and family are allowed to encroach on the time we use to devote to the other.
Time for "quailty time"!
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (6 June 2009):
i had the same sort of things and i tell you after dumping that jerk i feel so much better i feel alive again. you can do so much better than this this man is an ass. leave him and with time you wont miss him and when you get your freedom back you will realise your worth more and as for you not going out with him are you sure hes not picking up or sleeping with other women ? not to make you paranoid but it seems strange. and also your a smart girl what are you doing putting up with this crap from a man. you dont deserve this you just need courage thats deep inside you to be released find someone worthy of you and not someone who thinks lowly of you. you can do better just tell yourself you deserve better that you are more than what he lables you worth. good luck aphex xx
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