A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey frnds plz............ help me to come out of the complicated situation. For the last 4 years i am in relationship with a married man. Though he never forced me for anything, i was equally involved. we both r Indians and in India this type of relation is against society.We both have done oral sex. We just meet for 1h after one month. He never allows me to come emotionally close to him. Says that he doesnot love me just want physical relation. I was attached to him thats why i couldnot let him go from my mind but as i didn't get love from him i never agreed to spend night with him and give my virginity to him. I stopped meeting him. Now suddenly he has come back in my life and says he loves me but due to social reasons can't express it. He says that he don;t have love in his life. His heart is full of love. He asks me to find a good guy to marry and have a happy life but he wants to have first intercourse with me before my marriage, becoz he wants to feel my love. I am confused what should i do. On the one side i think he is my love i should give my virginity to him on the other side i think i should save it for my husband. I love him. What should i do............???????
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female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 Simple: Save it for your husband. This guy dosen't love you at all. He told you he just wanted physical relation. He can get that from anybody. What he wants is something that you can't get back again, ever. Save it for the man who will dedicate his life and LOVE to you.This guy sounds horrid - He tells you to find a good guy to marry and have a happy life but he wants to USE YOU FIRST! WHAT???he wants to feel your love, what about you feeling some love! what do you get a wham, bam, thank you for your virginity mam.
A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 Ask him to wait for you (until he married you) to show you HIS love FOR YOU!
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A
female
reader, always.you +, writes (9 June 2009):
 do not loose your virginity to him sweetheart that would not be wise
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 Don't give him your viginity! X
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 So, he wants your love. He wants it so much that he does NOT divorce his wife, does NOT make you his mistress, does NOTHING at all. Except ask you to fuck him first before dumping you.
Because is what he is saying. Yeah, yeah, he dresses it up nice. But saying that he wants you to marry someone else but first have sex with him shows he only wants your virginity and NOTHING else.
That ain't love and if you love him you are a fool. Love is blind, not stupid.
You got two choices, be a sextoy or keep a shred of dignity.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Please do NOT lose your virginity to this man..its far too precious to waste on him! X
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A
male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (9 June 2009):
First, I suggest you speak with an elder woman, such as your mom concerning India Customs. We do not know what negative outcomes could confront you if you used American or Western cultures.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): I don't think you should lose your virginity to a man that can't love you. It sounds to me like he's using you, he says he loves you but his actions say otherwise, no matter what society thinks if he really loved you then he'd a find a way to spend the rest of his life with you.
He can't be trusted, I mean he was unfaithful to one woman, it's very possible he wants this for his own selfish reasons. I may be wrong on all the above but at the end of the day if you do find a good, loving husband to spend the rest of your life with I think he's the one that will deserve to be your first, the honour should be your future husbands not an untrustworthy fling.
I'm not well versed on Indian culture but I'm fairly sure being a virgin until to you are married is fairly important, losing your virginity to this man may make it very difficult for you to find a good husband if that is the case.
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A
female
reader, Ronna +, writes (9 June 2009):
How can you love someone who obviously doesnt want to give you love in return? Is he still married? If so, you should save it for the man that you marry, this guy isnt worth it. Why doesnt he marry you if he thinks that you deserve such great love?
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