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... Send *SA a private message | | | *SA's profile:I'm a professional dreamer and believer.. that love is worth fighting for. I believe in giving chances, especially to the one least worthy. We may be disappointed in the outcome and think we've wasted that chance, but you never know, somewhere down the road, your love may be remembered. Never give up on someone and never give up on a relationship... not until you've tried and tried and tried again.
True love never comes easy... it must be fought for and worked on. Hold on to your dreams and believe in love... it will take you far!
I've only been a member of this community for about two years. I truly love and appreciate all the members and their insight. This place is awesome!
When I first joined this community I was heart broken over a guy who chose to cut contact with me over something silly. Thanks to a special member, ShareBear, who stayed with me every step of the way, I was able to get over the heart break and love myself again.
Now, when I have a chance, I come back to help with questions and from time to time post a question of my own too! |
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I can't let go of what my boyfriend did
Q. Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...
A. 12 March 2019: OP here..
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and advice.
Honeypie, he not only PAUSED the ride. He STOPPED the ride, PAID for her drinks/food, IGNORED my calls and texts while he was wining and dining her and PERSONALLY gave her a ride home off... (read in full...)
I didn't marry my husband for love. Can I learn to love him?
Q. I have been with my husband for over 5 years now. I think I made a mistake in marrying him. He’s handsome, successful, nice, funny, and an all around good person. When we first met I never felt a connection or spark but kept talking with him because ...
A. 8 March 2019: It depends on what type of love you're referring to. Do you mean the puppy love where you go all gooeey oooeey can't spend a second apart from each other kind of love? The once I see you I want to rip all your clothes off kind of love? Those are ... (read in full...)
Why did I stress so much during this trip and how do I enjoy myself more the next time?
Q. I feel like I nearly wasted 2 days away. Flew to another city in my country for 2 nights. Going home today and am at airport waiting for flight. Why did I get anxious and worry about getting home, missing the flights, weather, not enjoyi...
A. 4 March 2019: Not sure if you'll agree with me on this one - but my view is that having things to 'worry' about, or 'stress' keeps you busy and occupied as if there is something/someone waiting for you to tend to. Depending on how you approach it, vacation... (read in full...)
How should I handle this situation with my boyfriend?
Q. I apologize in advance for the length:) I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 7 years( lived together for almost 5!)I am 42 and he is almost 50! His parents have never been very nice to me( the first day I went over to meet them I b...
A. 4 March 2019: You've been together for 7 years, lived together for 5 years.. that's an awfully long time to be with someone to not feel that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I guess you should have a serious talk with him about where your ... (read in full...)
My ex still has our couples pictures on his facebook. I want them deleted.
Q. why is my ex keeping my pictures (our pictures together) on his facebook account and says in relationship with me? He broke up with me 6 months ago. I do not want him to keep my pictures on his profile, I blocked him but can still see his ac...
A. 26 February 2019: Question - when was the last time he logged into Facebook? Can very well be that he hasn't logged in for 6 months because he is busy doing other things to help him get over the break up. A lot of times, after break up, people stay away from social ... (read in full...)
Somebody keeps hacking my boyfriend or is he cheating?
Q. I keep finding my boyfriend on multiple dating/cheating sites and find his search history is filled with things like: Women near me to have with tonight? I have asked him about it and he says he didn't do it. Tat someone is hacking him. Is that ...
A. 26 February 2019: So... you are almost 40 years old and you actually believe that someone hacks into his computer just to search up girls.... hhmm.. if I were to hack into his computer I would search up his bank accounts lol not girls!... (read in full...)
How can I help this relationship survive?
Q. I am 40 F,3 years ago I met a 21F College student that was on a internship.(Asia)- I Never dated woman before. At the time I was in a leadership role within the college. She made passes and I resisted, because I was nervous, scared and becau...
A. 26 February 2019: When I'm confused I either ask for clarification or I let go. I don't like to feel confused about my relationship with anyone, whether it be friendship or love. If two people don't express mutual feelings then one must let go because one person ... (read in full...)
I don't know what this man wants from me
Q. I am a lady in my 60s and have been in an on/off relationship with a guy of similar age for 5 years. We usually fall out because I get hurt that he has not included me in his family get togethers or not bothered to get me anything for my birthday. ...
A. 26 February 2019: I don't think he is interested in building a romantic relationship with you. You are to him a casual friend who he contacts once in a while.
If you are looking for more, then I suggest you look elsewhere.... (read in full...)
I am so confused..looking for insight about this relationship..
Q. I met someone 6 weeks ago. Im in my mid-40s and spent too long in a loveless, abusive marriage. Ive been alone for 3 yrs and was resigned to being done w men for good. I have trust and abandonment issues and have settled for weak, passive ...
A. 26 February 2019: Your post, the way you write, tells me you're a bit confused and in a bit of a mess right now. How you write about him tells me that he is also in the same situation as you.
Hard as it might be, you both need to take time apart to sort your live... (read in full...)
Is the company punishing me because I have autism?
Q. I have learning difficulties and work in the warehouse. I’ve been with the company for five years. since I’ve been at the company I’ve had no issues with anyone who works there. I was told by my assistant boss that he received reports from co ...
A. 22 February 2019: What exactly do you mean by you've been given time off? As in they asked you to not go to work for three weeks? Or it is standard company policy to allow their employees time off from their work.
If they are asking you to stop working as a form of p... (read in full...)
I’m shy and don’t like to upset anyone, so how do I let the one friend with a crush on me down, whilst keeping our friendship?
Q. Hi everyone I've found myself in a tough situation recently and feel I need some advice. Firstly I think its important to understand a few things about me. I'm quite shy, I find it hard to express my interest in someone directly and I also reall...
A. 22 February 2019: I agree with everyone here. Stick to platonic friendship. Best deal for everyone. If after 1 year and everyone has moved to different places, and you still find yourself interested in pursing a relationship with the girl, then go for it at that ... (read in full...)
I need help with work and love advice! Please help!
Q. So I’m having a frustrated year so far.... Work I closed my business last year after over 3 years of trading and got into a retail job, I then got let go from that retail job and the got called to go to a different branch. I hate it! I try to see...
A. 22 February 2019: You sound like you have a background in Human Resources. Why not try Corporate HR roles? You can start with an entry level HR role which may require you to post jobs, screen candidates, arrange interviews etc.. then with more experience, you can ... (read in full...)
I’m in an exclusive long distance relationship, despite my desire for it to be open, and I started cheating. What do I do?
Q. I’m a freshman In college and am doing long distance with a boy I started dating about a year ago (during my senior year of high school). I truly believe that I’m in love with him, as I dated a boy before him and learned the difference between ...
A. 21 February 2019: You fancy being in a long distance relationship because you get both the stability of 'having someone - a boyfriend' and freedom for random hookups. You are young and don't quite understand what true love and true commitment is. When you truly... (read in full...)
Is this flirting behavior from my doctor?
Q. I have just been detecting a vibe. He is a bit touchy feely, like he will touch my hands (playing with my fingers) or my shoulder, and sit close and lean in. He also runs hot and cold. If I am serious he starts to flirt or if I start to flirt he ...
A. 21 February 2019: Girl, if my doctor did those things to me, I'd immediately change doctors! I don't find this flattering at all, but rather inappropriate and unprofessional!
Not to say that a doctor cannot be attracted to his/her patient, but interest should be show... (read in full...)
Does a heart break months after the relationship ends?
Q. I dumped him a month ago and I have been doing okay ...I actually thought I had it easy this time ...until this week when it seems his haunting my thoughts every second ...Does a heart break months after the relationship has ended? ... I dumped him ...
A. 21 February 2019: Sometimes, feelings need time to sink in. You thought you were tough and strong and didn't feel anything during the fist few weeks.. then you begin to miss him and feel lonely and miss things you used to do together. It's perfectly normal. Now is ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my violent boyfriend, he wants the ring back but I paid for it!
Q. I have just broken up with my boyfriend of twenty years due to his violent behaviour. the thing is he says he wants the ring he bought me back which is expensive but I feel like in all fairness I have paid for the ring as I gave the cost of the ring ...
A. 21 February 2019: Give the ring back to him.. he paid for it. You can't calculate like that.. the money you spent during the relationship equals the cost of the ring, so you paid for the ring.. what the heck?
Just give the ring back.. you can save up to buy anot... (read in full...)
Can you please give me some ideas on how to make his birthday special?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a month and his birthday is coming up next month and I want to do something really special for him but I cant really think of anything. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!...
A. 21 February 2019: Plan a surprise party for him and invite all his friends?
Hand make something for him and keep it a tradition to do the same every year?
... (read in full...)
I just got married and I feel that my marriage is already breaking
Q. Dear cupid I just got married and already feel like my marriage is failing, to be precise nothing changed i.e we were living together even before marriage so it's the same. But my husband emotional support is almost none to these days Most of ...
A. 21 February 2019: Well, there is nothing much you can do now.. you married the guy.
So, you're stuck with either marriage counseling or divorce. You take your pick.
I wonder why you both got married when there is no love, no sparks, argue all the time.. WHY MARR... (read in full...)
My boyfriend often makes me feel inferior and I am not sure if I see a future with him. Please help?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 years and I had a huge argument recently. I mentioned applying for a 6-month advisory governmental job in another town. He got very angry and said he doesn't want to do long distance again (we had done it for a year internationally ...
A. 21 February 2019: I think you ought to apply for the 6 month advisory job. If he doesn't like it, oh well too bad. Don't let anyone stand in your way of bettering yourself, and most of all, don't let anyone tell you that you can't, because YOU CAN! You are still ... (read in full...)
Do you think he’s basically telling me to leave?
Q. So last night my S/O and I got into an argument. We were at walmart leaving and our daughter stopped to whine about getting some gumballs so I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and accidentally bumped into the entrance doors of the ...
A. 19 February 2019: I can't help but wonder... is he the main person supporting you and your daughter? Do you have a full time job and bring in as much of the money as he does? I see this a lot in couples.. the one bringing in less income is usually the one having t... (read in full...)
Both of us are married and planned a future together, but then she chose him! How can I heal?
Q. A co-worker of mine and I started talking/flirting. Both married but unhappy for our different reasons. We wanted to help each other with the attention we werent getting at home and made promises to not fall in love. Well we did.. we kept a ...
A. 18 February 2019: First step is to come clean by telling your wife what happened. Then you and your wife decide on how to proceed with the marriage or divorce. This should be plenty to take your mind off of the girl you had an affair with, who intelligently made the ... (read in full...)
My ex and his girlfriend have teamed up and are cyberbullying me on Facebook and Instagram
Q. My ex and his gf are bullying me online and I don't know why. I do not talk to my ex at all and I have moved on. I got a message on IG of her telling me to stay away from him which is weird because I don't have any contact with him and I am living ...
A. 18 February 2019: This is crazy.. but there are measures you can take. 1. Report to Facebook and Instagram. 2. Delete any old or unused account. 3. Block them everywhere. 4. Set privacy where you review every comment/post before it shows on your profile.... (read in full...)
How do I show this man that I'm worth having a relationship with?
Q. How does a woman show a man shes worth having a relationship with, ive been on quite a few dates with a guy but he said he wants to sort himself out a job , own place then maybe a relationship with someone. The words he used were someone he didnt ...
A. 18 February 2019: WHY do you even think you need to show a man you are worthy of being in a relationship with???? WHY? On the contrary, HE should be the one showing you that he is worthy of your time and worthy of your choice to be with! Woman, take more pride in yo... (read in full...)
He doesn’t want to see me but won’t let me go!
Q. I’ve been texting this guy off and on for the past 5-6 months. We’ve met and hooked up a few times. He will text me every morning, “Good morning beautiful, sexy etc” and we have conversations through out the day up into the evenings. But we go ...
A. 18 February 2019: Truth is, you are not ready to let him go. Your heart is not ready even though your mind knows you should let him go. Quite complicated. Well, let's look at the facts. Fact #1 is that he does not want to be in a relationship with you. He doesn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend’s ex-partner is a nightmare! I feel like we are constantly looking over our shoulders!
Q. My boyfriend's ex partner is a nightmare - and I feel like we're constantly looking over our shoulders. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year. Things are great between the two of us and we are very happy. The problem we have ...
A. 18 February 2019: Sorry but I feel that you are putting this on yourself. You call yourself a professional but do not act the part. Why are you checking her social media and getting all worked up on it? 90% of your post is about what she is saying on social media. B... (read in full...)
Is my husband crossing a line in his interactions with female friends?
Q. Hello, Should I be concerned with how my husband interacts with certain females? Example: he was discussing valentines plans with a coworker and when she asked if he was doing anything, he said no. It isn’t entirely untrue because we didn’t go out...
A. 18 February 2019: Some may see this as overly friendly and overly eager to impress. Some may say it's no biggie. It all depends on how YOU feel. To me, the more immature males tend to all have this type of characteristic... they want to impress any female who will... (read in full...)
I’m falling out of love, but can’t manage to walk away! Any advice?
Q. Hi everyone my name is James, i am currently in a 9 year relationship. For the last few years i felt like ive fallen out of love with my girlfriend. I am the only source of income in the relationship. Im very ambitious she is the complete opposite. ...
A. 18 February 2019: One must be true to himself/herself at all times. If you don't feel the love for her, let her go. By continuing to be with her, you are not only harming yourself, but her and her daughter as well. You can still be there and support her and her daug... (read in full...)
I hate the way my partner talks about my children and I'd rather live alone than be trapped in a relationship with him
Q. Hi there. I am in a long-term relationship and love my partner but i feel very trapped. I have 2 children from a previous relationship that are teenagers and my partner doesnt have a strong relationship with them but they do all get along well most ...
A. 18 February 2019: The only solution to this is to have a talk with your partner. Let him know how you feel and ask that he refrain from talking bad about your children. ... (read in full...)
My husband wants "space" to deal with his feelings of anger towards me
Q. Hello, I am a mother of 3 wonderful children. My husabnd and I have been married for over 10 years. I love him dearly. Recently he has asked for "space." Claims his job and our marital issues are overwhelming him. Says he loves me but doesn't ...
A. 18 February 2019: Not sure about living apart as in two separate locations. Maybe try separate bedrooms? I heard of something that actually worked for a couple. They slept/lived in separate bedrooms. Whenever one wanted space, they will go back into their room and ... (read in full...)
My ex unblocked me but didn’t contact me?!
Q. My ex and i broke up 4 monthes ago , he broke up with me , i kept begging and pleading until he blocked me on everything, after that i decided to go no contact after 1 month of no contact I realized that he has unblocked me on facebook ( we have ...
A. 13 February 2019: Well... Kudos to you for not contacting him. Keep it up!
If his mom is telling you that he misses you and still love you, then tell him mom that it doesn't appear that way because he hasn't contacted you in a few months. Tell him mom that if he trul... (read in full...)
Should I pursue a relationship to push away the feelings for my best friend?
Q. I'm majorly confused here and need some kindly advice. I've fancied my best friend for over a year now, we share a house at uni together and often hang out and have a lot of fun. However, she does a have a boyfriend who she goes home to see every ...
A. 13 February 2019: No. Your best friend does not like you and is not in love with you. She has a boyfriend but wants you around. She gets flirt when she get drunk is just how she acts when she is drunk.. it doesn't mean that she likes you. If she liked you, she would ... (read in full...)
I wish I could end all contact with my toxic mother!
Q. I feel so much hatred towards my ‘mother’ but I can’t cut her off because she threatens to kill herself. To put things into perspective, I am in my mid thirties now with a teenage boy who luckily doesn’t know the half of it. He just knows I don’t ...
A. 13 February 2019: Growing up, I'm sure many of us have resentments towards our parent(s) for what they should've could've done; what they did or didn't do; how they have acted in certain situations etc etc.. She is your mother, that does not equate to her being a ... (read in full...)
He decided to stop seeing me and I don’t know what to believe!
Q. I have been dating a guy for three months. Tonight he split up with me. He's 37, I'm 35. He is separated but married and wife is in a different town and they are getting divorced. I'm recently out a relationship too so I saw this as a bit of fun ...
A. 13 February 2019: He did the right thing and has been open and honest with you about his situation.
As much "fun" as you both had.. He needs time to get his life together.. allow him that time. When and if he is ready to be with you, you will know that he is with... (read in full...)
Why was my boyfriend so weird about his phone? Is he trying to hide something from me?
Q. I was at my boyfriends been together two years and I went to sit down on the bed and saw his phone there so picked it up to move it as soon as I picked it up he snatched it out my hand now I am thinking is he hiding something from me? Has anyone got ...
A. 11 February 2019: I think every couple goes through a "Phone Phase' at one point or other in their relationship.
Although I do agree that the phone is the best answer to whether a guy is cheating on you or not.
I don't lock my phone, so anyone can take it and look... (read in full...)
He's not as into me as I am into him. What now?
Q. i probably know what i should do but id still like some advice. I have been 'dating' a guy for 4 month we dont always get to see each other every week due to work and other commitments. We spend time at each others places but we had a massive talk ...
A. 11 February 2019: It's only been four months.. and four months of not always seeing each other. Give it some time. What do you LOVE sooooo much about this guy? You both are in the getting to know each other phase. GET TO KNOW HIM!! and allow him to get to know you ... (read in full...)
My partner babysits his grandchildren and leaves me to fend for myself, after I’ve worked 14 hour days!
Q. I work full time and am up at 420am each day. I often work until 6pm. I have a two hour break in between where I can come home then return to work. My partner is retired and spends his time at home. I do most of the cleaning on the weekends, the ...
A. 11 February 2019: WiseOwlE is right.. this man is your partner, not your caretaker. What he does with his time as a retired man is his business and whether he gets paid for it is also his business. My in-laws take care of FOUR grand children by themselves. They don't ... (read in full...)
I just found out my girlfriend doesn't like her breasts touched during sex
Q. i been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 5-6 years and i love her very much and i just founded out that she doesn't like it when i touch or caressed or fondle her breast when we were being intimate or playful she say it makes her feel ...
A. 11 February 2019: I laughed when I read your post.. are you seriously thinking of breaking up with her because she does not like her breasts touched during sex? Silliest question I've ever read!! No... No... and No!!! If she doesn't like you touching her breasts,... (read in full...)
He's changed how the trip expenses will be split!
Q. So, I'm in a relatively new relationship.....we met in June but things have gotten more serious in the past 2 months where we now are exclusive......he's been talking about an event he wants to attend in the big apple in december and so we've been ...
A. 24 October 2017: I'm not used to splitting the tab in half either. I prefer to take turns paying or I can pay for airfare while he pays for hotel and we take turns paying for meals, etc. However, there are a lot of people who prefers splitting it exactly in half. ... (read in full...)
I'm fed up and tired of my girlfriend and her drama. There's a new woman on the scene. How do I approach her?
Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship with my gf for almost three years. However throughout those years it's been good and it has been REAL bad. She has a short temper and gets mad real easy. She also loves to argue. When I ignore her she comes back ...
A. 10 January 2016: Are you hiding this female friend from your gf? Or are you in a Long Distance Relationship and your gf didn't know you went out with this girl? I guess I can say you are very smart to tell this female friend that you have a gf because you know soo... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my LDR boyfriend trust me?
Q. I m in a relationship with this guy and it had been 2 years. We love each other More then our lives. This is a long distance relationship. He is really possessive. I don't use any social networking because of him and I m fine with it. I don't talk ...
A. 30 December 2015: You've been with this guy for 2 years and have only met him 3 times?? What is the duration of each visit? Have you met his family & friends?
There's no way to 'make' him trust you, but if you haven't done anything to betray his trust, after bein... (read in full...)
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