A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and i broke up 4 monthes ago , he broke up with me , i kept begging and pleading until he blocked me on everything, after that i decided to go no contact after 1 month of no contact I realized that he has unblocked me on facebook ( we have mutual friends so he poped up in my people u may know) i ignored it , then he unblocked me on Facebook messenger and then 1 week afte i checked my whatsapp and he has also unblocked me from there , i didnt do anything about it , now its been a month since hes unblocked me and his mom whom im veryyyyy close with has told me that he told her that he misses me and still inlove with me , so why hasnt he contacted me yet ?! Yes i still want him back but i dont wanna intiate conversation first since hes the one that blocked me and hes the one that broke up with me ! Why did he unblock me if he doesnt want to contact me ?! What should i do ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2019): This is the post-breakup mind-game phase. The objective is to see who gets over whom first. It's also a tease. It creates false-hope; which means you'll hold-out without seeing anyone before he has a chance to get-over you.
If he initiated the breakup; he's keeping tabs on you. He can't monitor you if you're blocked.
Now about what he told his mother. Don't buy that. She doesn't want her son to look like a dick. She will intervene and try to make him look good; and she'll tell you what you want to hear to ease her own conscience. She just feels sorry for you. She knows you won't be getting back together; but mothers are protective of their sons when it comes to girlfriends or wives. She'll run interference to see that you don't go psycho; or runoff badmouthing her son allover town. You're close, but not closer than her baby-boy. She'll also make sure you don't upset him by finding a new boyfriend before he replaces you. She's not YOUR mother.
You need to move-on. He doesn't want you sleeping around or finding somebody to replace him too soon. He's looking-out for his ego, and maintaining damage-control. So he's passing-on messages and sending out indirect-signals.
Think about it. If he wanted you back, don't you think he'd be at your door? Besides, missing you isn't the same as wanting you back.
You'll windup stalking him on Facebook and social media. He's just keeping your feed open to see who you might be connecting with in his absence. He can't do that if you're blocked.
Don't get your hopes up, sweetheart. Don't even consider being friends. How do you think you'll feel when he starts dating other women? Guard your heart, sweetheart!
A
female
reader, Sweet Dreamer xxx  +, writes (14 February 2019):
 Well done to sticking to your guns and not trying to contact him. I believe the reason as to why he has unblocked you is to see if you would message him.
His mum should stay out of this, telling you that he loves and misses you could give you false hope when all he could be trying to do is move on from you.
You need to address the reason for breaking up in the first place, once you break up the magic is lost from that relationship and you'll be wondering if or when you'll end up breaking up again. My advise is to continue your silence and move on, if he contacts you it is down to how you feel if you respond or not, but don't message him first.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (14 February 2019):
 Why do you want to get back with someone who doesn’t think you’re good enough for them? He left you, that means to him that he thinks there’s a reason that you two aren’t good together. Why waste your time giving it another go?
Accept you’re not a good match, ignore his childish little unblocking games and move on with your life with someone that doesn’t break up and then have his mummy drop hints for him.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (13 February 2019):
 What should you do? Exactly what you have done so far: absolutely nothing.
Firstly, you don't know if his mum is telling you the truth. She could be "icing the cake" a little to try to get you two back together if she likes you.
Secondly, he was the one who broke up with YOU and blocked you. Don't go crawling back to him just because he has unblocked you.
Lastly, you broke up for a reason. Unless you sort out the original problem which drove you apart, you will just repeat the same scenario.
Get out with friends, make new friends, meet new people, keep yourself busy. IF he gets in contact, then re-assess the situation. Until such time, stay away.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 February 2019):
 He is doing the "test" thing.
If you contact him, HE wins.
OP, If he was really interested in getting back with you he would have reached out.
WHY are you even still friends with him on Facebook and have him on whatsapp? He DUMPED you!
I'd say either TALK to him or CUT him off.
Why did he dump you in the first place? If that issue or reason is still valid, having a second go won't make a difference.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (13 February 2019):
 Well... Kudos to you for not contacting him. Keep it up!
If his mom is telling you that he misses you and still love you, then tell him mom that it doesn't appear that way because he hasn't contacted you in a few months. Tell him mom that if he truly wants to be with you, you feel that he should take the initiative to contact you. Throw the ball back into his court.
But I suggest you revisit why the two of you broke up. What were the problems you were facing? What were your arguments and things that you both were not able to come to a compromise that caused the break up. You need to really think about these issue and whether they can be resolved before getting back in contact with him.. or else you will find yourself facing the same issues over and over again.
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