Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (27 February 2019):
 He's a liar. No hacker would care about dating sites. They'd be stealing his info and opening credit cards or breaking into his bank account or some such. But entering him onto dating and random sex sites? COME ON.
You can NOT be so gullible as to swallow this!! It's in his search history because HE IS SEARCHING FOR IT! You are dating a sex addict, and if I were you, I'd get an STI test done at your doctor, because casual anonymous sex searching is dangerous to his AND YOUR health!
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female
reader, MSA +, writes (26 February 2019):
 So... you are almost 40 years old and you actually believe that someone hacks into his computer just to search up girls.... hhmm.. if I were to hack into his computer I would search up his bank accounts lol not girls!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2019): I am afraid you are being either naive or in denial. He is cheat and habitual liar.
I was in your position and it took me ages but I got there: I left.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2019): I think you should look up the term "Ockham's razor"
It means that "simpler solutions are more likely to be correct than complex ones" basically.
Do you think it is more likely that someone is using all their time hacking into your boyfriends computer and putting all of that history in just for kicks, or is it more likely that he is probably doing this himself and lying about it to you?
I think you would be better off calling it quits with this guy. He has no respect for you or your feelings, and you deserve better.
Best,
R
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female
reader, Without Me +, writes (25 February 2019):
Anything is possible. But heres the thing..the real problem is if you feel compelled to be searching sites and/or his search history you already have confirmed you dont trust him.
You cant change him. You can only change this vicious cycle. Hes a game player. He likes to see you jealous. Hes testing you. Inside he feels small and he needs to know that you are really hooked on him. It also boosts his ego to watch you feel this way.
The closer you try to pull him to you..the more he will pull away. If you pull away, he will start doing anything to keep you. Plus cheating is another way to put barriers between yourself and others. Hes afraid of rejection, and he has the perfect setup with you because he never has to deal with himself.
You cant change him. It doesnt mean he doesnt care but at this time he is incapable of being close or committing to anyone. You can keep doing this to yourself, actually allowing him to disrespect you this way, but you are disrespecting yourself. The only power you have is over you and what you allow. Sure you can play his game and pull away..but the result is the same. He needs to grow up. Unfortunately, what I have found is that after a whole lot of hurt and doing this cycle over and over you will finally kick him to the curb for good. Then he will kick himself for losing someone who really cared.
Change is always possible..I like to give people a chance..but you have to lay it all out..you will not be disrespected anymore.
Absolutely stop arguing the facts and trying to find the truth. Stop looking for proof and searching history and sites. It doesnt matter..he will tell you whatever lies to stop you from leaving.
Draw a line and tell him if he crosses your boundaries you are really done this time. Drop out of the picture.If he really wants a relationship do it on yoyr terms. That is the only way to do this. Take control of this situation. Hope I helped. I really understand and it hurts.
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female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (24 February 2019):
 You're joking right?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 February 2019):
 He's lying.
Why would a hacker try to set him up with hot women instead of emptying his bank account?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 February 2019):
 He is lying
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A
male
reader, Harry29 +, writes (24 February 2019):
 Tell him to go forth and multiply (F-off in Anglo Saxon!), he is a cheating, lying scumbag.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (24 February 2019):
 I have only one thing to say: YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Hold your head high and walk away. Then go and see your doctor for a sexual health check to make sure your "boyfriend" hasn't given you any unpleasant "surprises".
In future, if your gut instinct is telling you something is wrong, believe it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2019): Oh boy . Come on now . You don’t need to ask . You know the truth . This guy is playing you like a fiddle and you’re letting him .
Jump ship now while you can
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2019): He's trying to throw you off track with his bold faced lies. I'm not sure why men don't have the balls to end their relationships if they feel a need to go out and cheat? It's very hurtful, cruel and destructive to the person who loves them. You caught him. A part of you already knew. Now do what you have to do. Don't give him a pass. He will keep right on cheating. You deserve an honest and loyal guy. He ain't it. He's a cheating turd.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 February 2019):
 Honestly, WHO would hack him to go on dating sites?
BUT his SEARCH history...? Don't be so naive. ONLY way for someone to use his search engine (computer memory) would be to remote hack his computer. And really, IF someone were doing that... do you REALLY think they would be browsing dating/cheating sites?
Let's be realistic here.
If someone had USED his credit card to sign up for a dating site in a different state or with a different e-mail that his... then MAYBE I'd believe it. But that wouldn't show up in his SEARCHES/HISTORY.
Your BF thinks you are an idiot and you ACT like one by staying with him when you FULL well know what's going on.
He is looking at what options are out there for him to cheat with.
Come on!
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (24 February 2019):
 Come on, be serious here.
Most obvious lie ever. You’ve found him multiple times, who would waste their time making up a fake dating profile in someone else’s name?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2019): You keep finding him on dating/cheating sites? How many times before you figure-out what he's doing?
You're in-denial, in spite of the evidence found. You say this has happened multiple times; and all he has to say about it is that he's been hacked.
How gullible are you? Come on...what do you think?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2019): It’s possible someone hacked his accounts/computer in the way that ANYTHING is possible. But I think you need to look at things in terms of what’s more likely. Someone hacked him (and he’s just super nonchalant about it... weird). Or he’s actually on those websites and doing all those searches. Probably the latter in my opinion.
Does this mean he cheating? That’s a separate question. Maybe he’s not. But are you ok to keep going forward in a relationship where you don’t trust him, and he might be lying? Not s good prognosis.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (24 February 2019):
 Yes, it's possible that this is someone creating accounts in his name. No, I don't believe that this is what it is, if you "keep finding" him on multiple dating and cheating sites. I'd be 95% sure he's lying and I'd get rid of him.
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