A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I nearly wasted 2 days away.Flew to another city in my country for 2 nights.Going home today and am at airport waiting for flight.Why did I get anxious and worry about getting home, missing the flights, weather, not enjoying myself, everything! when I had 2 nights away in another city? I was looking forward to it for months and had an ok time,saw a theater show (which was ok, again I was dissappointed I didnt like it more as I was wanting to see it for months..) and I looked around the city, (which Ive been too many times) but I could’ve enjoyed my time more. It was a quick trip.I was a little anxious and stressed and overthought about getting home, going back to routine life wtc. I live alone. Noone to ger home too, have next week off work on leave.I dont “go away” much due to $$.Why do we crave the comfort of home yet look forward to a trip?How can I worry less and enjoy more next time?I do 99% things alone (yes I have coffee friends, not close friends) soNext trip will be alone tooAm so annoyed at myself!How to not worry next time and enjoy more? I was disappointed in myselfEditEtiquette Reply to this Question
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reader, MSA  +, writes (4 March 2019):
 Not sure if you'll agree with me on this one - but my view is that having things to 'worry' about, or 'stress' keeps you busy and occupied as if there is something/someone waiting for you to tend to. Depending on how you approach it, vacationing can be lonely or it can be loads of fun and relaxing. If you are not the type to engage with others and easily make friends, you may find vacationing a difficult task because you will feel lonelier than you are when at home. At least at home, you have your comfort zone. I'd say go out more... even when at home, go out to eat at a restaurant at least once a week. Join local gatherings, meet people. They don't have to be your best friends, but you can chit chat. Engage in life, and next time while you're away, you may be able to enjoy it more.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2019): I think for you, who are a person who worries a lot, it might be better to make detailed plans. When you go away, make plans for all Things you are going to do, and follow through on them. That way you will experience more, and possibly relax more as you know you have a schedule. It could be good for you to participate in guided tours, or trips with a group who has a set program and guides and everything included. These tours costs more money, but could be worth it for you. I have an aunt who has anxiety, and she is scared of everything and very nervous. But she enjoys going on Group trips, because then she's not alone (she enjoys being alone, but traveling alone makes her nervous), and she doesnt have to worry about anything because everything is taken care of and the guides makes sure the group is on schedule. I think such a trip might be a better option for you. If you can save up the money, it might be Worth it because it's all included, you get to experience a lot more than you would travelling alone, and it's a great way to travel for someone with anxiety/nervousness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2019): You really didn't give yourself enough time away. You live inside your head. Complaining and seeing only the worst side of things in life. Never appreciating small blessings or being content. You can always seek out the worst, the most troubling, and what's wrong with everything, or what's not good enough. You complain too much; so you never give your mind or your soul any rest.
You can't relax, because you expect the worst. Then you go and put yourself down and brutalize your own spirit. In doing so, you're desensitizing yourself. Corroding your own self-esteem, and feeding into your bitterness. How the devil loves us in that frame of mind, and in that defeated state of being. That's where he does his best work. Stealing our peace and joy. Filling us with loneliness and hopelessness.
You do things alone mostly? Maybe that is because you may unintentionally/inadvertently project doom and gloom. You seem sour and defensive. Always full of complaints. Read your post, you couldn't enjoy a show or your little getaway.
You focused on anything that could go wrong, cause discomfort, or inconvenience; so you didn't allow yourself any pleasure. When on vacation, let go and just forget about it. Troubles come and go. Hang-on to a little fun and joy when it comes your way! You are the captain of your destiny.
We all have built-in senses to detect an unsafe situation approaching or potential danger. If people are sensing your beleaguered or troubled-vibe, you'll repel them. They will avoid you; because they can pickup on it from a distance. Even those who try to be close, can't. You also have this same ability, but it works against you when you only see the bad in yourself and others. Nobody likes to be judged or seen only for their faults. Having their imperfections magnified. Demonized for what they might do, not for what they have done. Take an extra-strength chill-pill!
The inner-spirit or soul is begging for something good, and your attention to it. It's starving for peace. You can't quite put your finger on where all this is coming from; or why you can't seem to shake it.
It's self-induced depression and preoccupation with your loneliness. Happiness and self-esteem are built-in. They are self-nurtured and self-maintained. It's neither given to us, and can't be taken-away. It can be given-away. Surrendered when we decide others have complete power over our value and well-being. We were not created nor designed to have that kind of mindset. It's something we surrender to. It can be induced or enhanced by abuse and mistreatment. Once removed from a hurtful environment, we are designed to recover. Unless we choose to let our past or troubles overrule and take control of us. That's what God wants to deliver us from.
Overthinking and pessimism is feeding your sense of hopelessness; so nothing can bring you joy. It dulls the spirit to the point of numbness. You can't feel "good."
Take a moment of your time someday; and go back to your days as a child when you were innocent, and could make a toy out of anything. There was no bitterness or cynicism, you could make a spoon and pot a musical instrument. You could make a doll or a teddy bear your best friend. It didn't even have to talk, but the doll or stuffed toy soothed you when you were upset or lonely. It was simple.
You pulled away when your mother or father over-coddled you; because you felt independent enough to deal with the problem on your own terms. You fell-down or scraped your knee, and just got-up and kept right-on playing. You then became a teenager and decided your parents don't have all the answers. Some stuff you could figure-out for yourself. You knew what made you happy, and where to go to find it.
What happened to that? I'll tell you. Bitterness and cynicism became rent-free squatters in your mind.
Kick them out! Give them their eviction notice! The devil is a liar!
Those who are in this state of defeat as an adult need to seek a spiritual home to find rest and peace. They need to reach-out to God, the Higher Spiritual Being that created us. If you think you can find that peace another way; then be my guest. Go for it! It's what your spirit cries out for. That's why people turn to drugs, alcohol, or sex. That sadness and emptiness. Feeling numb, or focused on bad things.
If you have been a nonbeliever in anything; than you rest and depend on your own intelligence and abilities. When they fail, you're hopeless. It may even seem God fails us. That usually happens when He doesn't do what we think He should do; and doesn't let us boss Him around. Uhm...He's God! He doesn't take orders from anybody. You can challenge how good you think He is or should be, by your own limited human knowledge; but you'd be wasting your time. Also rebel by testing Him, which is wrong. Like testing the patience of your parents or your boss. You'd get punished, or fired for that.
If you ever had exposure to any sort of faith and worship, go back to it. Revisit or explore prayer and faith. It helps some people. Many debunk it and scoff at it. Even those who have been in years of therapy that see no change after pills and thousands of dollars in therapy sessions; have found it was just what they needed. They find it wasn't only the mind that was sick; it was the soul and the spirit that was in distress. I know to some will think or tell me this is all a bunch of wacky nonsense. Well some know what I'm talking about. One thing that even God respects; and that's human choice. You can believe whatever you wish. You just won't benefit from what He has to offer. Seems fair to me. Your troubles won't stop, they'll still happen. You just won't feel inundated or besieged by them. He'll help with them.
This is just a suggestion. You don't even have to read the post. I don't and won't force anything on anybody. I just offer what my own experiences have taught me. You do as you want and seek whatever resources you need to find solace and comfort. I just offered you one that has helped me. Try it or reject it; no one can take away your right to choose your own path, or seek your own means of finding peace.
You're a good person, and insulting yourself is unnecessary. You have a few quirks that need to be tweaked and adjusted. That's what all human beings share in-common. So no more belittling yourself, or beating yourself up. Try and see what's good, what's beautiful, what's sweet, what's lovely in your life. It changes your outlook, and complaining starts to lessen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2019): Try nature/country/sea/ next time, away from City Life and have a beautiful time breathing the fresh air, go for a relaxing spa and holistic therapy, buy an ice cream. walk barefoot in the sand, swim naked in the sea (return to nature). The TRUE rhythm of life.
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reader, Plexi  +, writes (3 March 2019):
 Why do you think you stressed so much?
Could it be because you were away from your normal environment and thus had less control over what may happen? Is it realistic that we are in control all the time without turning into a hermit that never leaves the house?
Try to enjoy your time away from your controlled environment because that's how new experiences happen and thats what makes a good life..........new experiences(good or bad)
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