A
female
age
41-50,
*issy_25
writes:Were you successful in forgetting the person you had an emotional affair with? How long did it take you and what did you have to do to get over it? (esp. for those who are unsure of their feelings towards their spouse/partners to begin with).From the perspective of the person involved in it, it seems hard to admit that that affair was nothing but just infatuation. Whether the feelings was ever real or not will never be answered because it ended before it had any chance of developing. The situation/timing was just wrong and it would have ruined many lives if it continued.So, for those who have gone through it and survived. What did you do? What was the most painful thing that you had to come to terms with? Looking back, did you think you loved that person you had an affair with or was it just a distraction?Thanks!
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, missy_25 +, writes (26 March 2016):
missy_25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo miss anonymous, how have you been? Have you figured out a way to fill the void in your heart? I think the greatest gift we all can get from that experience is it made us see clearly what was missing and what our deepest desires where to come to light. I have always believed that marriage should be worth holding on. It's a gift. But if it's the very thing that is causing you harm, emotionally, physically and spiritually, shouldn't we try and figure out why and if we can fix it first before giving up on the person that chose to be with us? Not everyone is lucky to have someone to want to be with you. But everybody deserves to find joy and peace in their lives too. Whatever path you have to take, I say go for it. I think when love strikes your heart, you'll know. But true love is worth fighting for if it is done the right way: Ending one relationship first before pursuing another. I'm a traditionalist and this is just my opinion. I wish you happiness. I know someone who had a husband that cheated, and that someone wasn't truly in love with the guy that she married but because she got pregnant, she did it. She CHOSE to stay and prayed and continued to spend time with her husband/kids. 10yrs later, she's a satisfied woman. But that's here CHOICE, yours may be different and mine too. But you have to DECIDE the path you want to take. Only then will you stop having regrets.
A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (27 July 2015):
 I've never experience this... but know someone who did.It really depends on whether you and your significant other is on good terms or not.1. If the relationship you are in is fine and going smoothly, yet you just met someone and fell for them. Then most likely, you will realize it's an infatuation and remove yourself from it quickly to return your full focus to your significant other. Because there is love that still bonds you and your significant other, there are memories, and efforts you've put into the relationship.2. If the relationship you are in is rocky and is ready to break, then most likely you will want to move on with this new acquaintance. If he/she is available and willing. Couples who are unhappy in their current relationship will already be wanting out. Once they meet someone else they feel is more compatible, they will move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): I'm in a similar boat . An ongoing emotional affair of almost twoYears and have been unsure of my feelings for my spouse for over fiveYears.. The emotional affair is now over because I knew I could g keep leading a double life and was not certain enough that giving up a long term marriage was the right thing to do.I'm now totally miserable and although I doubt I'll go back to the other Man ( too much water under the bridge) I now know what I'm missing and the type of partner who I desire . (One who can communicate, had emotions and is into me )Sure, many will say it was an infatuation but it filled a void and in some ways enabled me to stay in this marriageNow the other man is gone I am forced to decide if my marriage is enough or do I take a chance on finding the love I want which is not easy when your an almost 50 year old woman in this world So no, for me the feelings for the other man haven't faded one bit and I doubt they will. The barriers made it hard but I dream of him daily
...............................
|
