A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in my early 40s. I have been single for the last 15 years, raising my daughter. Now she is all grown up and moved out long ago. I never got married to a father of my child. We are on good terms though, almost friends. I had relationships long and short lived. One lasted 8 years, and I left quite heart broken. Others were from 1 month to 2 years. I am going out a lot w/ my girlfriends. At least 2-3 times a month. May be for some it's not much but for me it's plenty with being busy at work. Almost every time I am out, guys buy me drinks and take my phone numbers. Some are great looking w/ good jobs and definitely boyfriend material. Lately though I find myself not wanting anything to do with men anymore. I don't know may be its because I am older, had enough or just become lazy. There is nothing wrong with my sex drive, I think it's even higher now. This parti definitely miss. But I don't want to be involved even for a very short period of time. I am happy by myself and with my friends. I don't know if anyone my age also going through this stage? It's even strange for me that I have no desire to be with a guy or even try to look for a partner. Yesterday I was out, and this really cute guy danced with me, bought us drinks, was very polite and caring. When we danced I felt something toward him, I was turned on. And if i only winked we could have sex that night. But then I just went home. Gave him my number, and he already texted me several times. I answer but honestly I don't even want to go on any dates with him. I would rather go out with a friend than with a stranger , going through the same routine all over again: talking, getting to know him, and so on.
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female
reader, missy_25 +, writes (12 November 2014):
Maybe you are happier being alone. There's a difference between that and being afraid to get hurt. If you are just afraid, maybe you should give this guy a shot but do it on your own phase.Some people want someone to be next to them in bed and have someone to share with after work. Others are just simply content on being independent. You will eventually have to face the reality that the window of opportunity is smaller as you age but it doesn't mean it won't happen again. Love. And when it knocks, embrace it.Don't be afraid to love but don't fall into meaningless relationship either. It won't satisfy you. Maybe friendship with guys can be enough for you. I think you just need to know what will make YOU happy. Being alone doesn't mean your lonely. And there is nothing wrong with that. You are blessed to have a solid group of friends coz it will get lonely in the end, not having anyone. But if it is a choice you make, I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you won't have any regrets.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2014): By nature I am a loner. I am in a relationship right now, engaged in fact. I'm a little older than you. I've been married, then widowed.The whole marriage idea has never been on my radar. I didn't completely enjoy being married the first time. Even way back in college I had that line of thinking that maybe being single would be a better option for me.I have a couple of female cousins and they never married and their life is complete without any men involved. They actually seem happier and are in a better mental state then a lot of my married friends.Take a break from men and enjoy being single. There is nothing wrong with that at all.I feel the same way as you do about men, dating, etc. I do think it is age too, because we become much more wiser.I have even considered calling my engagement off. It actually feels like an intrusion on my life.Being single, I don't have to account to anyone. I can do as I please, come and go, be a slob or be neat and not have anyone looking over my shoulder, sleep in or get up early, let alone dealing with the wifey duties of cooking, cleaning and all that comes with it.Some people can't handle being alone, but I am happy to know I am not one of them.I say enjoy being single and going out with your girlfriends. You are entering a new phase in your life. Enjoy that freedom.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 November 2014):
Then why not just have sex if that's all you miss?
My aunt was in the same situation and has been single for 20 years (at one time by choice, now probably not as much).
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