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*ustfriends

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What qualifies me to help people, you know I really can't tell you. My emotional level is much more mature than the other people my age. I watched my grandfather slowly die for 3 years going down the tubes. I've seen my great aunt slowly die from a tumor that kept coming back after surgery. I've seen some bad things in my life and its not always been fare but I don't let this bring me down on a daily basis. I have not had great luck with getting a girlfriend and am usually put into the friend zone before I even get a chance. The girl I loved and knew it liked another guy and said "we are just friends" I've had to deal with parents who put tremendous pressure on me but i can't tell them they are doing it. I bust my ass everyday giving it 110% even if Im not committed. I live on the east coast of the US thats all I will say right now. What makes me tick? girls pretty much explains it. My relationship status friends zone permanently. I grew up the first 5 years of my life very privileged my father owned his own company and life was going pretty well. I turn 6 and life as I know it turns to shit. the family company goes out of business thanks to Lows and Home depot. I go to public school to help my parents with money. I try to sell things I have and sneak money into my parents wallets without them knowing just to help. after 10 years of seeing my father work 16 hour days not seeing him almost at all and seeing him having to kill himself to provide for me and my brother. My fathers dad dies in 2002 and this was the turning point in my fathers life. He mostly gave up drinking until his father died he was the last person my dad could go to for parental advice and help. MY dad started to drink heavily so thats what qualifies me having to see some awful things as a kid who was 8 years old. I just wanted to be part of something bigger than me and I want to tell people my story in full but Im to embarrassed and the one girl I would tell it to would never ask.

Latest articles:

All I have learned is that life is a bitch and that no matter what my family is there for me!

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

11 November 2010: well my life has just gotten a lot worse, My mom was just diagnosed with Colon Cancer. I don't really show emotion I haven't cried in a long time and Im cold. my family has gone through some tuff shit in the last little while and I don't know how ...

Is she a bot, is this a scam?

Q.   alright this girl friended me on facebook and I was suspicious to begin with because she is the typical facebook bot. really pretty girl and has under 100 friends. well here is what made me change my mind. My number is on my facebook and she ...

A.   9 September 2011: thanks everyone. that helped a lot. I will message her later on today and ask to meet up soon. if she keeps backing out of it I will tell her my suspicion and end it there.... (read in full...)

Afraid of illness - how can I get rid of this fear?

Q.   Time ago I read an article about brain cancer and now I'm deadly afraid of having it ever in my life. I know everybody can get it, I don't have any complaints and I feel good , but still I'm afraid. I'm just 19 years old and I'm searching myself for ...

A.   7 August 2011: my mother just finished battling colon cancer and thank the lord is clear of it. My father 3 years ago battled prostate cancer and is clear of it. Life isn't fair by any means but you can't waste time looking for symptoms of something that you ... (read in full...)

She wants to be friends but I like her; what should I do?

Q.   I need to move on and fast because I love my neighbor but she loves me as a brother and since we live a minute away from each other I want to stay friends but its hard because I have feelings for her. Yesterday was terrible I was staying with her ...

A.   22 June 2011: see the problem is she see's me as a friend but we have made out and friday night we went skinny dipping in the pool. and she thinks Im cute. So that is why I am saying I hope something may happen down the road. She gives me mixed signals so much ... (read in full...)

I don't like her dating the boy she is dating.

Q.   My daughter is 16, 4.0 student, musically gifted, volunteers, involved in many clubs, self driven and goal oriented, very attractive and has a good heart. But I don't like her dating the boy she is dating. I don't know what to do here. I allowed ...

A.   21 June 2011: he is a scum bag, Im sorry that he cuts himself because thats not cool but the stuff he does isn't right. I don't like that people try and say they are justifying their pain by drugs and stuff because people all over the place are having a worse ... (read in full...)

Do you believe in spanking your child?

Q.   Do you believe in spanking your child? I've heard people say they believe in it and others believe that its wrong. Personally, i believe in it if they are out of control and have been warned repeatedly. Don't judge, it was how i was raised and my ...

A.   21 June 2011: I was raised that way and put in place a lot. I got yelled at in front of friends and was embarrassed by it. But honestly it made me a better person I don't cuss in front of girls that much I don't pull out my phone and text on dates I pull out ... (read in full...)

Girl I am dating drives me crazy by calling everyone "honey", "darling" and "baby"!!

Q.   this may sound stupid but i cant help it that it is driving me crazy. this girl i am dating for 5 months is really getting to me because she calls people she knows casually things like "baby", "honey", "sweetheart", "love" and "darling"!! i'm ...

A.   21 June 2011: dude I went through the same thing with this girl I was crazy about. Just like you I am more conservative and she was more of an artsy type. I think when you say I love you it should mean something not just say it because you feel like it but my ... (read in full...)

Why is it that girls I'm not attracted to are attracted to me?

Q.   Why is it that girls Im not attracted to are attracted to me? I have had this problem for over a year now and I really can't figure it out. To be fair its not a problem but I wish girls who I was interested in were more interested in me...

A.   6 June 2011: I like both of those answers because they are honest and make really good points, Thanks guys I will try some of that stuff and hopefully it works out... (read in full...)

What is it like to have a father's love??

Q.   I hate my dad. He has never been supportive of me. He was always drunk and always hit me. I remember when I was younger and how he always kicked me. He always treated my younger sister better and pampered him with all the things but never bought for ...

A.   3 June 2011: first bit of advice is get out call someone and stay as far away from this poor excuse of a man. If any man hits a girl unless its life or death circumstances he is a coward. You need to tell your boyfriend because he should trust you and take ... (read in full...)

I've never had someone try to make me jealous before but its not going to work!

Q.   so the girl I love I guess cause recently there has been a bunch of BS and were not talking accept through a mutual friend who is on my side. Thank God for that. anyway apparently she is gonna date this guy to get back at me for what I don't know ...

A.   3 June 2011: thank you so much. It means a lot to hear from someone else on this subject matter. I will take everything you said to heart and try my best. ... (read in full...)

13 year old's text messages have turned sexual...What do I do as a parent?

Q.   My 13 y.o. son is very active on FB and texting. He is doing well in school and all seems well, aside from slight depression from his mother and I divorcing recently. He has many friends, but seems to have mostly female friends. I do not think ...

A.   3 June 2011: I am not really experience with the parenting aspect so I can't offer you advice on that regard. I can however give you my personal advice with explicit messages. My friend who is also 17 was suspended for a day because his girlfriend sent him ... (read in full...)

She only calls me when she needs a shoulder to cry on. What do I do?

Q.   She called me crying saying she has doesn't feel like she has many friends and all the girls hate her or think she is a slut. I am there to comfort her and tell her she needs to relax and is welcome to come over any time she wants. I am really ...

A.   9 April 2011: Im going to get back at her by getting a girlfriend. she was like do you want to hang out tonight, I was like no I met this really amazing girl and Im going out with her tonight sorry. We will see what happens. I am not actually going out but I ... (read in full...)

Does she actually love me or am I just the bodyguard??

Q.   Im going to try my best and keep this short. I have been hanging out with this girl for about 2 months and recently stopped seeing her because I knew I liked her a lot and it hurt to see her kiss another guy. but after not talking to her for 2 we...

A.   17 March 2011: thank you so much. I will wait a little longer to text her, she has been gone 3 days. but I absolutely would love to be her boyfriend and Im not interested in getting in her pants, I just want to have someone who will want me to put my arm around ... (read in full...)

What is sexy to men?

Q.   what is your ideal weight and look of a woman? I am 15 and i wanna know what men think is sexy. I dont wanna look tramp-ish but not too nun-ish. I wear short shorts and tees often and I wear regular converses. I have mid length brown wavy hair. I ...

A.   15 March 2011: for me the girls I tend to be very attracted to are are 5'3-5'8 ish and 110 to 130 lbs. Keep in mind I am 6'3 and lift weights all the time but I don't really find super tall or even tall girls to be as attractive nothing against them but I like ... (read in full...)

Why does my ex want me to hate him?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend had broke up 9 months ago. In this 9 months i really had a suffering time. I miss him alot ,i wanted him back. but, he just wouldn't talk to me. he wouldn't accept me as facebook friends and any other social website. I was ...

A.   15 March 2011: he wants you to hate him because he feels sad about you two breaking up. I remember having to think I hated this girl so much and had to convince myself she hated me to make myself feel better. I took it out on myself like everything was my fault ... (read in full...)

I'm not going to be the in-between sympathy person again! How do I tell her this?

Q.   well I have tried my best to avoid this girl because I know it will hurt me to see the one I love hook up with another guy. I have seen it before and I felt so sick for about a week. well that was 2 and a half weeks ago and I only talked to her ...

A.   12 March 2011: we have kissed more than 3 separate times in the last little while I am going to a party tonight with her and her friend. so hopefully something will happen that is good. I want to show her that ill be the man I am obviously not intimidated by ... (read in full...)

She used me and I need to confront her on it

Q.   I am in serious need of help, The girl I thought was my best friend/friend with benefits/girlfriend used the shit out of me and I can't stand it. She said we never dated but I went to her house met her parents went to sporting events picked her up ...

A.   1 March 2011: I am very grateful for the answers I have been given by everyone. I hope that some of the girls I met via friends will contact me they have my name and number so I guess it's a waiting game. I am not to sure if I will contact her. It's been 2 ... (read in full...)

I feel better than I have ever felt before with a girl but not sure if she really likes me...

Q.   I feel better than I have ever felt before with a girl. She is perfect in every way and the best part is she thinks Im cute too. So yesterday I was at her house and we were watching a movie about 20 min into the movie she is touching my arm so ...

A.   8 February 2011: I am not looking to have sex right away. She has asked me if I am a virgin and I am so I am honest with people I care about. she says things like she is dreading valentines day which makes me wonder if she actually likes me. My fiends think that ... (read in full...)

Attracted to blondes!

Q.   alright for some reason I am really attracted to blondes. So I am at this high school dance last night and when I walk in right away I see this girl who has a smoking hot body. at first I was almost intimidated but thinking of the last girl I ...

A.   25 January 2011: I wanted to thank everyone she did end up calling me so now its onto the next questions! thanks again ... (read in full...)

Attracted to blondes!

Q.   alright for some reason I am really attracted to blondes. So I am at this high school dance last night and when I walk in right away I see this girl who has a smoking hot body. at first I was almost intimidated but thinking of the last girl I ...

A.   17 January 2011: I am also a little worried that she like me when it was kinda dark inside then she saw that I had red hair and that may have been a factor to her not calling or texting me. I might just be thinking the worst but for real I hope she calls lol. ... (read in full...)

Attracted to blondes!

Q.   alright for some reason I am really attracted to blondes. So I am at this high school dance last night and when I walk in right away I see this girl who has a smoking hot body. at first I was almost intimidated but thinking of the last girl I ...

A.   16 January 2011: there are some pics up on facebook of the dance and its tag yourself so hopefully she will. I just feel bad for not knowing her name. I am also looking forward to my friends not teasing me about the same girl. hearing (insert girl name) at school ... (read in full...)

I found a letter from his ex-girlfriend what should I do?

Q.   ok me and my bf have been together for six months and we have liked each other for five years i cleaned his room today and found a letter in his dresser from his ex gf it was in the open so he must know its there what should i do? ...

A.   20 November 2010: well even if he has kept it, its not like he asked for it unless you know he wanted this letter. I wouldn't give him shit about it cause its just not something to get pissed about. I would just let him know that when you were cleaning his room you ... (read in full...)

Should I believe her when she says they just made out?

Q.   well my luck always seems to get worse when I don't think it could. The girl I love or loved most likely had sex with one of my best friends. She says they only made out but at this point I don't believe her cause she has lied before and I have ...

A.   26 October 2010: well I told her I wasn't going to tell anyone, and I haven't and won't besides this post but it doesn't effect her on here. I want to thank trancedrhythmear hella good response and it felt good to read that. Her having sex with him is not big ... (read in full...)

don't want to be her friend when I care about her and don't get any recognition for it.

Q.   About 3 months ago the girl of my dreams told me I like you as a friend and being the nice guy I said sure lets be friends. I thought being friends could possibly mean down the road she might like me or want to hang out with me like a friend would ...

A.   11 October 2010: I meant to say I don't handle emotional stuff to well. thank you for making it clear that its me and all. I needed to hear someone tell me that and hopefully set me straight. So what if Im not the nicest guy I would rather go out fighting then be ... (read in full...)

She said I was a bad date and she hates me and I don't know why!

Q.   I went to a dance with this girl Im friendly with, at the moment she hates me and wants to avoid me. I have no clue what I did and she won't talk to me. I talked to her took pictures with her and in my fb profile pic she was in there also. Im ...

A.   10 October 2010: I know I didn't act like the center of attention at the party. I didn't play a game of pong and was really tired so I wasn't going crazy or anything. I gave her compliments and stuff but other than that I don't know how get her more attention. I ... (read in full...)

Most Embarrassing thing Said to Date

Q.   What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever said to your date or someone you like?...

A.   8 October 2010: telling the girl I love how I felt explaining everything and that I would do anything for her and all she said was that she likes someone else. every time I see her now all I can think of his she has so much dirt on me she could tell everyone what ... (read in full...)

Nice guys finish last, atleast that's what I'm seeing

Q.   Nice guys finish last or at least thats how I see it, The beautiful women are attracted to the D bag guys. I am the typical nice guy I think I don't talk about people behind there backs and am usually honest. The girls I like only like me as a ...

A.   28 September 2010: Thank you all for the responses I appreciate it so much. I have talked to her several times in person she is always very nice and won't say that she notices that Im shy even know I can tell she thinks it. I guess were sorta friends cause I can ask ... (read in full...)

I was disgusted by the way my friends party!

Q.   recently I went to a party where I saw some troubling things. I saw some girls and guys that I had respect for do things that really bothered me. I like to have fun and I will drink on occasion but I know where to draw the line. what bothered me ...

A.   14 September 2010: well as an update I am pretty sure this girl I am trying to become better friends with was drinking. I was some pictures and she looked totally out of it. If it was just a little to drink to make the party a little bit more fun than thats fine but ... (read in full...)

Will football get more girls to like me?

Q.   Alright well I can get a girlfriend if I wanted one but I am not really looking to date anyone right now just wanna have fun. I am not the worst looking guy in the world cause I can get girls in college to hang out and party with me... I am a good ...

A.   17 August 2010: thank you for your answers. tomorrow we have our first full pad hitting drills, I am really looking forward to kicking some ass and getting to feel confident with myself when I talk to certain girls. ... (read in full...)

Should I continue to wait and hope?

Q.   alright well as people who have read my other questions know I messed up with this girl I care about more than anything. well as everyone has said I have stopped talking to her and it took the help of some good friends to do it. recently I read a ...

A.   9 August 2010: thanks for a straight forward answer, I feel better knowing that I should continue to not talk to her. for the last week or so I sorta wanted to talk to her but at the same time I don't want to talk to her. I miss the way I feel when I talk to ... (read in full...)

Am I the right weight for a 15 year old?

Q.   i have an eating problem.. im 15 almost 16 and weigh 104 pounds. and im 5foot 3in.. i model for victoria's secret but my doctor tells me i need to weigh 110 for my age and height.. but i just cant do it.. im not used of eating some stuff. i weigh ...

A.   6 August 2010: well I can relate on the being under weight thing, I am 6'4 160 lbs so I look like a string bean lol. my friends give me shit all the time but I don't care. I have been working out bulking sets of weight and have gotten up to about 170 since june ... (read in full...)

Should I continue to wait and hope?

Q.   alright well as people who have read my other questions know I messed up with this girl I care about more than anything. well as everyone has said I have stopped talking to her and it took the help of some good friends to do it. recently I read a ...

A.   6 August 2010: I honestly have no clue... I am friendly because thats part of my personality so I talk to everyone often. All my friends (guys anyway) know that I am not stalking her or anyone. I care about this girl but I think the people who think I am ... (read in full...)

I still love her, and sometimes we talk like friends, but she kissed another guy and really hurt me

Q.   Okay so, right now I'm devastated because of just one girl, just one girl. It al started around January 28 I was with this friend on facebook and I received a friend request, at first I had no idea who it was, but then I found out she was from my ...

A.   26 July 2010: this sounds the exact same thing that was going on with me. I had strong feelings for this girl that I was afraid to talk to, I cared about her and she knew it but it was never going to workout for me and her. I would do anything for her and ... (read in full...)

Do you ever really forget your first love..

Q.   I met mine almost 3 years ago, we were together for a year and a half, and yeah things went quite badly towards the end, he changed and what not. But it's been almost 2 years since we broke up and I still think about him every single day, I st...

A.   26 July 2010: well you have it better than I do I guess, you got to love someone that felt the same way about you for at least some of the time. my first love if you can even call it that was something that was never going to happen. I was only friends with ... (read in full...)

What did I do?

Q.   "Op Own Title" Just want to start off by saying this is a fabulous website thanks to all that make it that way... the first thing I need to say is I have told this girl I like how I feel she knows we are just friends and I said and stand my thi...

A.   21 July 2010: To answer you question yes I do have romantic feelings for her I think about her somewhat often, I think she knows I want to be more than friends but I told her for the time being I am happy to be your friend. She knows that I will always b... (read in full...)

I have never gotten girls I am attracted to to date me

Q.   I got to move on in my life and have because I have a date with this other girl but I still think about this girl I have a crush on. what are some things I can do to get over the first girl, I don't want to lose sleep over her and think about ...

A.   21 July 2010: Just wanted to thank you for the time everyone has spent on these answers to the first answer I have not yet gone on this date with the other girl. I still have strong feelings for the first girl and the only reason I said I was going on this other ... (read in full...)

She said we are "just friends..."

Q.   well about 5 months ago I met this girl Natalie, she was everything I ever wanted and she knew it. I probably made a mistake telling her that I like her and she thought it was cute. I talk to her almost every day and have asked her out a few ...

A.   21 July 2010: Well yesterday was going well I was keeping busy and not thinking about her at all until about 10 at night she started to talk to me, I agree with what everyone has said and I am backing off big time probably until school starts again and I will ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong for me to want her so badly?

Q.   So this girl I like a lot said we are just friends and that is alright with me but I keep thinking I made a mistake by telling her I like her. My other friends say I am wasting my time and I don't feel that way at all. every time I talk to her I ...

A.   20 July 2010: that makes me feel so much better to here it from someone else's perspective Thank you... (read in full...)

She said we are "just friends..."

Q.   well about 5 months ago I met this girl Natalie, she was everything I ever wanted and she knew it. I probably made a mistake telling her that I like her and she thought it was cute. I talk to her almost every day and have asked her out a few ...

A.   20 July 2010: thank you for the help, I really wish I could just move on and I am doing my best, my friends have said the same things so its good advice once again thank you... (read in full...)

"I don't understand"

Q.   "OP Own Title" I was talking with a man online and getting to know him for about a year. I then found out that he never told anyone about me but claimed to do so with me. What does this mean? [Mod note- changed a word for clarity]...

A.   20 July 2010: alright well I have been talking to a girl I like for about 5 months now and started talking to her online because I was afraid to talk to her in person. I don't tell my friends because they will get angry at me they are watching my back to try and ... (read in full...)

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