A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay so, right now I'm devastated because of just one girl, just one girl. It al started around January 28 I was with this friend on facebook and I received a friend request, at first I had no idea who it was, but then I found out she was from my school, one year younger. So I accepted her, we started talking and we talked for hours every day, but at school we just looked at each other as if we were both afraid to talk to each other, I began to like her. We kept on chatting on facebook more and more, and everyday I saw her at school we just looked at each other and smiled, but then something happened, this girl who liked me pretended to be this model (from my same city) through an e-mail adress (I know I'm really dumb to have believed that) well the point is that I started talking to the "model" and it looked as though she really liked me, and she looked pretty nice in her photos, so now I liked both of them, the model and my friend, and even though the one that I really loved was my friend I decided to go for the model instead, because I thought that my friend only wanted me as a friend, so I took the easy path. And I always talked to her about the model, than valentine's came, I left a rose in my friend's desk at school, at that moment she had no idea that it was me, so then there was this valentines day party, the "model" was invited but she never showed up, and my friend was there for me, that made me love her even more. Then we all found out the "model" was a joke, I was angry at the girl who did that to me, but I was happy because I always suspected that it was a joke and now I could focus on my friend. So the months went by... My friend and I still got along the same way and then spring break came, and I was planning to try to ask her out when we came back to school, but on the very day that I was leaving she told me "I think there's this guy who wants to ask me out". It was a guy two years older, he smoked, was a drunk, had a lot of gf's, etc so at first I didn't worry much, when I came back from spring break (I got something for her and gave it to her) I found out that they had already gone out, but she said that it really didn't work out, I was relieved. Then I found out they went out again, and again, and again, then I started to worry, but they still weren't together, they were just going out. And I remember her exact words "I don't know about that guy, I mean he has a lot of gf's and I swear he's perfect, but he smokes, and actually I would like someone like you, who has never had a gf, but I know it's too much to ask." so days went by, I still loved her, more and more, they still went out, so I decided yo tell her that I liked her. Around April at recess I talked to her (just me and her) and then told her, for her it was a really great shock , so I decided not to tell her everything, I just told her that I liked her. Later I found out that she cried because of me. About two weeks later there was another party, my friend, the guy, and I were invited. In the party I never really talked to the guy, I just saw him and she wasn't with my friend, he was with other girls then he disappeared, so I went to talk to my friend about why she wasn't with him so she told me that he had left to drink with another friends and that when they had started going out he promised her not to drink anymore, I thought that was the end of their relationship, they still went out. And slowly my friend and I talked less and less, she didn't tell me anything about him anymore, then I found out that they had broken up, I thought that finally we were gonna be together, no. I tried to ask her out, she always said no, I sent her poems, she just told me "please stop trying, because you are just hurting me." that was a month ago, now we rarely talk anymore, when we talk we still talk like we used to, but it's rarely. Yesterday I found out, she likes another guy now, and that her first kiss was with the guy she was going out, she lied to me, she told me that they never kissed or anything, and I also found out, she used to like me and that when I told her about the "model" that I really hurt her, but I had no idea, I thought she just wanted me as a friend. So, what do I do now? I still love her, we still sometimes talk like friends, she kissed that guy, I'm devastated..
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male
reader, justfriends +, writes (26 July 2010):
 this sounds the exact same thing that was going on with me. I had strong feelings for this girl that I was afraid to talk to, I cared about her and she knew it but it was never going to workout for me and her. I would do anything for her and still would but I ruined it or I feel that way because I made her feel overwhelmed by me. I talked to her to much texted her called her asked her to hang out like all the time. I lost friends I had for years because of her and it has really ruined the last few months of my life. I have not talked to her in a week and she thinks I have major problems and I know I do.
When I first met this girl it was at a party but I screwed it up I was not good at talking to her she made me freak out and I am sorry to her that I never got to know her better and its my fault for talking to her to much and wanting her to much.
she is now dating another guy and I am not really sure how I feel about it, I want her to be happy and I want us to be friends again but its not working out that way. I think about her all the time but it was never going to work out.
I think we both need to take a few steps back and realize what we have like friends and family to help us move on. I don't want to except it anymore than you do but I need to... so good luck and I wish you luck
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