A
male
age
30-35,
*ustfriends
writes:alright well as people who have read my other questions know I messed up with this girl I care about more than anything. well as everyone has said I have stopped talking to her and it took the help of some good friends to do it. recently I read a post by someone saying that I am a creep and a stalker and all I do everyday is creep on these freshman girls. to people who don't know me like some of her friends this may seem that way but in reality I have work sports school and many other things I do during the say. Last time I talked to her was 2 weeks ago and since then I have been flirting with this other girl trying to keep my mind off of the first girl. well it has sorta worked but every now and then I think about her and want to talk to her but I would rather be killed than look like a stalker. in two weeks I am going to the beach and last time I talked with the girl I like a lot (girl A) we talked about maybe seeing each other down at the beach. well that was 2 weeks ago. I remember everything she has ever said to me so I wish she was my math teacher lol so maybe I could pass the damn class. anyway I won't talk to her or message her again until I head to the beach unless I hear other wise from people. If I decide to talk to her again and ask her to maybe meet up down at the beach it will be a month from the last time I talk to her. my question is can I ever talk to her again I love this girl or thats what I think I am feeling but I could not live with myself knowing that people think I look like a stalkier. would it be alright to ask her to hang out at the beach or is one month not enough time. either way I am not going to avoid her the rest of my life because school is going to start in a month. When school does start I won't have any classes with her but I will see her at lunch and sporting events and so on. when she walks in the cafeteria should I wait until she sits down and then just walk out? I would rather not talk to her ever again than hurt her in anyway. to let people know I talk to other girls and could go on dates with them but I just don't feel good about myself right now and just want a little time to straighten things out. (Girl A) knows how I feel about her and pretty much knows everything so I am afraid she told her friends so they all know and its a bad situation that I wish no one will go through.
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female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (13 August 2010):
 No problem and one thing is for sure you deserve a girl that will be crazy about you just as much, and she is out there somewhere. There are more women than men in the world so think of that when love seems hopeless :).... As for keeping the right girl just remember that a little breath room and space can actually drive you two closer. There is no love like longing.
A
male
reader, justfriends +, writes (9 August 2010):
justfriends is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for a straight forward answer, I feel better knowing that I should continue to not talk to her. for the last week or so I sorta wanted to talk to her but at the same time I don't want to talk to her. I miss the way I feel when I talk to her but I can't stand the way I feel thinking about the whole stalker thing. So also you think she feels like I am stalking and creeping on her? I thing she felt smothered because I was giving her to much attention and what I heard in a movie yesterday is "love makes you do crazy things and I wanted her to be part of my life but she thought she was my whole life" I feel bad that she thinks this way of me and no matter what people say about I deserve a girl who will like me as much as I like her I don't feel that way. I am hard on myself all the time I take things to seriously when its about me even if they are joking. I hate myself sometimes I don't really care that she has not liked me back I only care that I made her upset or uncomfortable or freaked out. I wish I could tell her this but If its for the best not talking to her thats whats going to happen.
thank you for a good answer and not BSing the situation
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (8 August 2010):
If a girl wants you it is clear. If you haven't talked to her in two weeks and she hasn't come after you then she simply doesn't care. Girls like attention and being adored, even if it is someone whom they do not like. It is also entirely possibly that you are clingy and misplace your attachments in such a way that she feels smoldered by your behavior. If her friends say you are stalking her it isn't for no reason. Girls talk. Especially do their sisters... They would be saying these things to you because she has talked about you to them and said things like he is always around; he's bugging me; calling you a stalker in the I'm joking and laughing, but I am actually dead serious. She doesn't return your feelings of affection because she clearly has not cared you aren't talking to her. Move on, you deserve yourself that much.if she does not want to date me
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A
male
reader, justfriends +, writes (6 August 2010):
justfriends is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI honestly have no clue... I am friendly because thats part of my personality so I talk to everyone often. All my friends (guys anyway) know that I am not stalking her or anyone. I care about this girl but I think the people who think I am stalking her are trying to figure out why would I still like her/care about her if she does not want to date me. Thats because unlike some assholes out there I look out for my friends and care about them and it does not matter if you are a guy or a girl I will take a bullet for you once I get to know you.
I have some friends that are girls that love if I talk to them a lot and others that don't but unfortunately I did not get the impression that this girl did not like me talking to her once a day or every other day like I do with all my other friends. a while ago she said that she liked how I always talk to her and I thought she meant that, I guess she was just trying to be nice because her friend told me she said she was overwhelmed by me? hence not talking to her in 2 weeks.
any help is much appreciated... thank you
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (5 August 2010):
Question: What gives these people the impression that you are a stalker?
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