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She only calls me when she needs a shoulder to cry on. What do I do?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *ustfriends writes:

She called me crying saying she has doesn't feel like she has many friends and all the girls hate her or think she is a slut. I am there to comfort her and tell her she needs to relax and is welcome to come over any time she wants. I am really trying to be a good friend but she acts like she only calls me when she is depressed or lonely and I am tired of it. We use to hang out a lot but now very rarely do we hang out and it hurts.

My question is if she was crying and I am nice to her to make her feel better don't you think she would want to hang out with me if I make her feel better? She hangs with some people that aren't "good people"--they are crazy like drugs and crap and I don't want to see her go down that road because I love her. Her friends asked if I love her and I said that might be a little strong to use because I don't want her to think I do because it wouldn't change anything. I am so confused by her calling me last night and asking me if I want to hang out all week then when it comes the weekend she is "busy" or has community service. I have never been invited/asked to hang out then ditched before like this so its kinda hard for me to understand. I know she is hanging out with another guy tonight but she doesn't want a relationship, I just don't like that she invited me to hang out tonight (friday) blew me off sometime during the day and invited this kid to hang out, especially after I was her crying shoulder last night.

What should I do tell her? That I am not going to be there for her to talk to anymore when she needs it if she doesn't start treating me with some sort of respect?

View related questions: depressed, drugs

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A male reader, justfriends United States +, writes (9 April 2011):

justfriends is verified as being by the original poster of the question

justfriends agony auntIm going to get back at her by getting a girlfriend. she was like do you want to hang out tonight, I was like no I met this really amazing girl and Im going out with her tonight sorry. We will see what happens. I am not actually going out but I did meet this girl. next weekend we are going to hang.

Thanks for the advice I like the "emotional tampon" thing never heard that before

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011):

You are being used as an emotional tampon. You're in the "Friend Zone" at best.

Time to nut up and respect yourself some more. You don't have to be an asshole to her but you need to start demanding the same respect that you would give her. Or you're just gonna be the nice guy that does all the extra work and then finishes last.

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