I do not want to send him the pictures he asks for. Why should I send these pictures?
Q. im dating tanzanian man since like 7 months ago we chatting every day online. he is calling me on viber...he sent me pictures of his private parts,and he said he wants pictures of my private parts. i said yes to him but i do not want to send suc...
A. 7 September 2014: You are clearly not comfortable with sending him these pictures. Trust your gut instinct - if you don't want to, don't send him the pictures.
Whatever you send over the net will end up public eventually. Not may, but will.... (read in full...)
Are women too independent for men these days or have they been so mucked around by men that they have lost interest?
Q. I was in a relationship for 20 years, it ended nearly 2 years ago. It seems woman these days are less wanting of a man in there lives, is this right or are my values a little dated. I like to spend time together watching movies and going out to all...
A. 23 April 2014: The grass is always greener, mate. Having spent twenty years with a needy woman who was totally dependent on me, I have to say I much prefer my independent girlfriend, who wants rather than needs me. ... (read in full...)
He knows I have a terrible relationship with my husband so why has he suddenly gone cold on me?
Q. I've been in a horrible relationship for too long but don't want to leave because of my son. When he had finished his gcses in July then I WILL be leaving. My boyfriend is controlling, abusive and has mistreated me for many years. 6 months ago I...
A. 23 April 2014: Wait till you see him in person and then ask him. He is probably just being really careful about texts because he can't be sure that you are the one writing them or whether your husband is looking over your shoulder.
Here's an idea for the futu... (read in full...)
I know very little about post menopause!
Q. I'm in my late forties, and recently I have been seeing a very nice woman in her mid fifties. We haven't slept together, but the relationship looks like it's heading towards that level of intimacy (I hope!). I assume that given her age she is proba...
A. 6 December 2013: Thank you for all your advice.
We did finally become intimate, and I found it highly agreeable. There was a certain dryness issue, but we used lube, and then everything went very well.
As I said, highly agreeable.... (read in full...)
Can I trust a marriage counsellor to keep my confidentiality or will s/he tell my wife everything I say?
Q. My wife and I have been going through a rough patch lately. I think we need to see a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. I am not sure if the rules regarding confidentiality are different for each, but I am wondering if what I say will ultimately ...
A. 8 September 2013: Obviously your counsellor should maintain confidentiality. When I went to marriage counselling, the counsellor never told me anything confidential that my wife had told her. Of course, it is possible that there was nothing of interest to tell.
I... (read in full...)
I know very little about post menopause!
Q. I'm in my late forties, and recently I have been seeing a very nice woman in her mid fifties. We haven't slept together, but the relationship looks like it's heading towards that level of intimacy (I hope!). I assume that given her age she is proba...
A. 4 September 2013: Thanks Auntie Babbit. That was the kind of advice I was looking for. By the way, it's me who's in my late forties. My lady friend is mid 50s. You wouldn't believe it to see her dancing and singing all night though. I bet she could swim from Cuba to ... (read in full...)
What are some fun nice acceptable activities to suggest when my friend visits? Skating is one, what else?
Q. This girl and I were complete strangers before this summer. Then, we both were involved as counsellors in a summer camp and saw each other everyday and interacted every time we saw each other. We constantly talk to each other on skype, facebook ...
A. 21 October 2012: Bowling is fun, and a million miles from romantic. I've always found it more enjoyable in a large group rather than just two though.... (read in full...)
I'm worried my vagina isn't as good as the other girls' he's known!
Q. I've got a boyfriend and we've been dating for a few months and we want to start on foreplay. I like the idea of it but I'm quite sensitive about my vagina. I know this may sound creepy/strange/etc. but I've fingered myself and I'm quite ...
A. 21 September 2009: You girls and your complexes! As if you don't have enough hangups about your breasts, hair, eye colour, complexion, teeth, weight, hips, legs etc.
I have never experienced a "bad" vagina, and I have never heard of such a thing. If there were "bad... (read in full...)
Stress causing boyfriend to smoke and I don't like it!
Q. My boyfriend has recently taken up the habit of smoking. I know that he's under a lot of stress in college. His mother and nearly entire family smokes, so he's pretty used to the concept. Here’s the big points: I have a breathing disability. Ciga...
A. 9 September 2009: As long as he is careful not to smoke around you, please don't nag him. People just hate to be nagged, and nagging never helped anyone give up smoking. He knows how you feel, and when the time is right, he will give up. That might be tomorrow or it ... (read in full...)
Is 8 years too big an age gap?
Q. Hello, I'm a guy who just turned 25 last week and have started dating a brilliant girl who is only 16, 17 in a couple of months. Is this too big an age gap for a relationship? I've known this girl for a few months and she has had the hots for me ...
A. 8 September 2009: It does seem like a pretty massive age difference - I used to teach at secondary school, and 16-year-olds really do seem like children.
Having said that, if you do get on well, and if there are no embarrassing silences when you realise that you have... (read in full...)
I'm so guilty that I cheated on my husband. Should I tell him?
Q. A few days ago, I slept with a male friend while my husband was out of town visiting relatives. It only happened, once, i swear, and I did not intend for it to happen. I didn't set out looking to cheat, it's something that just happened. We'd had a ...
A. 8 September 2009: Don't tell him. I understand that you feel guilty and you have an urge to confess, but it will hurt him a lot, and he'll never feel the same about you.
I'm quite happy with my wife, but if she suddenly told me that she had cheated on me, I woul... (read in full...)
I don't like it shaved!
Q. I am what I think is a straight male. I however, cannot get aroused over a shaved pussy. There is nothing more repulsive than to see a five oclock shadow, stubble or worse, pimples! Now that ALL women shave and as I believe, we as a society are ...
A. 30 August 2009: It's definitely your age. Remember the first dirty magazines you saw as a boy? All the women in them had nice hairy bushes, and in all probability the first women you slept with were hairy too. It's what you're used to. There's a story which ma... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my son may not actually be mine
Q. I heard off a good friend of mine that my son is apparently not mine. When I met my girlfriend about 5 years ago she was a single mum, who had a 3-year-old son. Two years later, we moved in together, our life was good, we then decided to try...
A. 28 August 2009: Well, there are DNA test services available, and your fiance doesn't need to know about it.
How you handle the results is a different matter. If a man goes through life happily in the mistaken belief that he is the father of his wife's child, no h... (read in full...)
My wife has been cheating A LOT and I need her to open up to me...Any advice?
Q. Me and my wife have been married 9years.... in that 9years she has cheated on me 5times that i know of... out of the 5times i have decided too get a hold of one of the guys.... me being me i wanted too see what she was acting like.... come too find ...
A. 24 August 2009: The only way you might get her to talk is by telling her that you are going to leave and meaning it. She might say, "OK go", or she might actually start analysing her behaviour, and you might get some answers. But bear in mind that the answers you ... (read in full...)
Is it satisfying to a man to just fool around?
Q. Hi Aunts, What do you feel the norm answer to this question is. If a guy 20 something has been deep french kissing and dry humping (clothes on) for a couple of hrs, do you think he got satisfied? Thanks in advance for any answers....
A. 16 August 2009: Depends on the man: fooling around like that can be lots of fun because it goes on longer than sex, but having a hard on for a couple of hours can give you very sore testicles).... (read in full...)
Why do men/women cheat on their husband/wife?
Q. Why do men/women cheat on their husband/wife? Is it just because they can't resist a beautiful person? Is it because they aren't fully committed? Well then, why did they get married in the first place? Is it because their spouse changes? I love my...
A. 15 August 2009: It takes two to tango. As long as you remain loving, kind and don't deny him sex, you certainly will reduce the chances of him cheating. The rest is up to him.... (read in full...)
I just want someones view on what I've done and learnt from it : )
Q. Hello I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while as it keeps coming back to bite me. A few months ago i visited a brothel. The reason i did this is clear to me now as i was very lonely had not many good friends and was addicted...
A. 28 July 2009: Personally prostitutes have always scared the hell out of me. I would be terrified of catching something or getting hit over the head.
And sex would be no fun if you couldn't cuddle up with the girl afterwards, tell her stupid jokes and have a cup ... (read in full...)
My husband cannot have children and suggested that I sleep with another man so I will get pregnant!
Q. My husband cannot have children and he has asked me to consider sleeping with another man to have children. Problem is i do not want to sleep with another man just to have children. Plus i feel it will have a bad effect on our relationship. i feel ...
A. 28 July 2009: There is absolutely no need for you to sleep with another man. You can get pregnant using another man's sperm via artificial insemination. Don't confuse artificial insemination, which is relatively simple and cheap, with IVF, which is very ... (read in full...)
I feel too shy to tell him what I like during sex!
Q. Hi There, While love making, I feel more eroused when he touches my pussy, fingers it. But most of the time he just does the intercourse and finishes off. This does not satisfy me at all. Now the problem is, I feel shy telling him what I like. And...
A. 28 July 2009: I know it's difficult when you're shy. Maybe a glass of wine before bedtime can help you be a bit more open. Most men really do want to please their wives in bed - it's a big boost to our egos - so I'm sure he'll be glad to hear any suggestions you ... (read in full...)
I've been married 15 years and am having an affair
Q. I thought maybe it could have been just a one time incident, but now we have had sex three times sneaking away about once ever three weeks. I have been married for 15 years and never thought I would do this. I have always had men find me ...
A. 28 July 2009: I have known good, kind, loving people, men and women, who cheated because they just couldn't help themselves. For some people the urge really is too strong, and I don't judge people for that, but the thing that distinguished them from the poster ... (read in full...)
I've been married 15 years and am having an affair
Q. I thought maybe it could have been just a one time incident, but now we have had sex three times sneaking away about once ever three weeks. I have been married for 15 years and never thought I would do this. I have always had men find me ...
A. 27 July 2009: "I can't leave my husband because of finances and the children"
So your husband has now just become a source of cash and child minder for you? That's a very disappointing attitude.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend kept gawking at bellydancer!
Q. My b/f and I went to dinner with some other couples, to an authentic Indian restaurant and there were belly dancers performing that night. When one of the dancers came to our table the other men barely glanced at her, they nodded and went back to ...
A. 27 July 2009: Give him a break. Belly dancers spend years perfecting the art of getting men to stare at them, and they are damn good at it. Strippers bore me to tears. All they seem to say with their act is "here's my vagina", but belly dancers are saying "I want ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he fantasizes about other girls all the time!
Q. my bf told me he thinks about having sex with other girls all them time. He said he would never go with them or leave me. He said he loves me very much and wants to be with me forever. He said he sees girls everywhere and thinks about having sex ...
A. 27 July 2009: Most men with a normal sex drive do fantasise about other women,but what they do not do is tell their girlfriends about it because it is hurtful and pointless. What's going on inside his head is pretty much what every guy thinks, but he has done a l... (read in full...)
Sexual terminology help needed!
Q. Sorry for may be a little odd question. But it is really important to me right now. English is not my first language and I have never dated English-speaking man until now. Everything is going just great and we had sex for the first time yesterday. I ...
A. 26 July 2009: If you're not sure, you could always call it his "thing". Call it his "big thing", and he will love you even more.... (read in full...)
He says horrible things to me because he doesn't like my past!
Q. My boyfriend says he says things he doesn't mean when he is mad, and i should not take them personally. here is some examples : slut, whore, dirty, i am going to throw you off this balcony, you deserved to get raped no one is going to want you now, ...
A. 26 July 2009: He sounds terrible. To say things like that just once is too much, but to say such hurtful things, and to make physical threats, repeatedly is inexcusable.
Leave him.... (read in full...)
Will guys mind if I have a weird looking vagina?
Q. This is a little embarrassing, but I'm really worried. I have a really weird looking vagina, like quite long lips that kinda hide my clit, I think it looks weird but no one I've slept with have said anything, but I'm really scared about the way it...
A. 26 July 2009: Vaginas are as individual as faces, but in porn they all look the same because of surgery or because producers select a standard type of vagina for their films. This is a relatively new thing though - I remember that in the 70 and 80s you could see ... (read in full...)
Help - I've had limited experience, and I'm attracted to an older woman.
Q. I'm 24 and attracted to a 36 year old woman. just recently moved to a new city. We were introduced by a mutual friend. She is incredibly attractive, went to an ivy league college, and has an amazing journalism career. We went to the movies the other ...
A. 25 July 2009: I've changed my mind. Now I think you should keep trying with her. Gently, without getting too heavy. From what you write I get the feeling that she maybe wants you to try a little harder. She is now aware of how you feel about her, and if she ... (read in full...)
Help - I've had limited experience, and I'm attracted to an older woman.
Q. I'm 24 and attracted to a 36 year old woman. just recently moved to a new city. We were introduced by a mutual friend. She is incredibly attractive, went to an ivy league college, and has an amazing journalism career. We went to the movies the other ...
A. 24 July 2009: It's a real shame, but I think you should move on. If she has told you straight not to have a crush on her, she probably means it. At least you tried. If you hadn't you would always be thinking what if.... (read in full...)
Thinking about boyfriend's bestfriend while masterbating.
Q. Is it really ok if I masturbate while thinking about my boyfriends best friend?? I kinda feel bad about it....
A. 24 July 2009: Whatever goes on inside your head is your own business. Do you think that your boyfriend thinks only of you when he masturbates? Most of us have pretty wild fantasies when we masturbate, but you shouldn't tell your boyfriend about it. I know honesty ... (read in full...)
Help - I've had limited experience, and I'm attracted to an older woman.
Q. I'm 24 and attracted to a 36 year old woman. just recently moved to a new city. We were introduced by a mutual friend. She is incredibly attractive, went to an ivy league college, and has an amazing journalism career. We went to the movies the other ...
A. 23 July 2009: Go for it, mate. It's your duty as a man.... (read in full...)
His performance in bed is so disappointing I'm not sure I want to see him again! Should I tell him?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a very short time, He invited me to his place for a meal the other night. After a few glasses of wine, we ended up in bed. I was very dissapointed in his performance, to say the least. He was too rough, and didnt bother...
A. 23 July 2009: Well, you are attracted to him, so I think it's worth trying to fix the situation.
I once had a girlfriend who knew exactly what she wanted from life, she drew up plans and worked out everything methodically. And this even extended to our sex life... (read in full...)
Help - I've had limited experience, and I'm attracted to an older woman.
Q. I'm 24 and attracted to a 36 year old woman. just recently moved to a new city. We were introduced by a mutual friend. She is incredibly attractive, went to an ivy league college, and has an amazing journalism career. We went to the movies the other ...
A. 23 July 2009: Go for it. 12 years isn't such a huge gap at your age. She seems to enjoy your company, so there's a good chance she would date you. And the worst thing that can happen is that she says no.... (read in full...)
Embarrassed about a wet dream
Q. Okay, this is embarrassing, but there's nothing for it so I might as well ask... So, I was at my girlfriend's house, and at the request of her father, we were sleeping in separate beds. In the morning as usual, she came down to wake me up, but ...
A. 22 July 2009: Tell her the truth. She must have had some sex ed at school, so she must know that this is just a thing that happens to teenage boys from time to time, just like menstruation is something that happens to teenage girls. I understand why you're e... (read in full...)
Do girls like guys that write poetry?
Q. hey im 14 and i hate to boast but im quite a poet. i also write songs and i have even wrote a book. but the problem is i was wondering do girls like this in a guy or do they think that it is stupid? please help me because i dont know....
A. 21 July 2009: Byron seemed to do OK for girlfriends (although some of them were nuts).... (read in full...)
I hate smoking more than I love him.
Q. I had always known my boyfriend smoked when he went out to pubs and clubs but it didn't bother me. Now 6 years later he has changed jobs to an outdoor job and seems to be smoking here and there. I'm gutted cos i thought our relationship was ...
A. 21 July 2009: Advice from an ex-smoker here: I tried to give up smoking for years, but I couldn't. The idea of spending the rest of my life wanting a smoke was too much for me, and whenever I promised a girlfriend or my mum that I would give it up, my first ... (read in full...)
I like him but he smells...
Q. i kind of like this guy and i know for a fact that he likes me as he was over at my house over the weekend. he was talking to me and before i left to go to someone else's house, he wanted to know if i wanted his number so we could hang out sometime ...
A. 21 July 2009: I assume that your boyfriend is a teenager. It's a fact that teenage boys sweat a lot more than before they hit puberty, so they need to take care of hygiene more. Simply showering regularly isn't the only thing - he mustn't then put on the shirt ... (read in full...)
He replied "maybe you do love me more" when I said "I love you more". What does this mean?
Q. hi there, I am a little confused and I hope you can help me clarify this situation with your responses. Here goes, my boyfirend and I have been going out for almost 9 months now, we are both in our early 30's. He has never had a proper girlf...
A. 20 July 2009: Maybe it means something, but in all probability it means nothing. Women, please stop analysing every little thing we say! We forget virtually everything that you say within seconds: kindly return the favour.... (read in full...)
Do men think about other women in a sexual way?
Q. Hi I have a question for guys or girls in the know. I was wondering how often men think about women in a sexual way. Does it vary if you are in a relationship; is it a reflection on the girlfriend the amount the guy checks other girls out? Do men ...
A. 19 July 2009: Yes, men do think sexually about other women. Sorry, but that's the way that nature made us. Of course, a gentleman will not overtly ogle women on the streets or pass comment on them in the presence of his girlfriend/wife. You can't help your ... (read in full...)
Handjob question...What do I do when IT happens?
Q. My girlfriend has agreed to give me a handjob. The only problem is, as everyone knows, guys ejaculate. Do I tell her to stop when that happens cause I feal like its rude making her have to clean up herself. I know its a weird question, but felt like ...
A. 17 July 2009: Just grunt something like "I'm gonna cum, don't stop". This will give her a chance to get out of the way and point your penis in a safe direction. It would be a most unsatifactory hand job if she didn't finish it off.
Etiquette does require that... (read in full...)
I've just found out she had a threesome and this is eating away at me!
Q. I really need some help here. Me and my girlfriend broke up a couple months ago. I had sex with one girl, shortly after the relationship ended and again two weeks later. She found out about both as i admided to it. She then procieded to have sex ...
A. 17 July 2009: You were both free agents. You could have slept with all the Dagenham Girl Pipers, and she could have slept with an entire football team.
If you can't get over what she did, well, you just can't. It's time to move on and find someone else. That... (read in full...)
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