A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had always known my boyfriend smoked when he went out to pubs and clubs but it didn't bother me. Now 6 years later he has changed jobs to an outdoor job and seems to be smoking here and there. I'm gutted cos i thought our relationship was progressing towards engagement and now I feel like ending it. I hate smoking more than i love him - I feel so very strongly about the stink of smoke. Please i need some advice. (Also i had childhood asthma).Thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 You've answered your own question, my dear. You hate smoking more than you love him. There you go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): if smoking is the worst thing he does then i say count yourself lucky. i much rather my boyfriend had a smoke rather than the woman he is cheating with.
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A
male
reader, JSBach  +, writes (21 July 2009):
Advice from an ex-smoker here: I tried to give up smoking for years, but I couldn't. The idea of spending the rest of my life wanting a smoke was too much for me, and whenever I promised a girlfriend or my mum that I would give it up, my first thought was where I could have a sly smoke without anyone knowing. Then, at the age of around thirty, on a beautiful spring day, I decided that the world was so nice that I decided to give up so I could stay in it for as long as possible - not for anyone else, just for me. Nagging him isn't likely to help, because that could just make him rebellious and resentful, but tell him what I wrote here. He might be surprised to find that if he decides to give up smoking for selfish reasons, some people find it incredibly easy. Since the moment I gave up, I haven't wanted a ciggie, and I can even sit in a smoky pub with my friends all puffing away and feel absolutely no desire for a smoke. My father gave up in his late sixties, and he says exactly the same thing - since the day he stopped he hasn't even wanted one.It is tricky for you though, because like I said the initiative really has to come from him, not you.Good luck to you both - it's a great relief when you do quit and realise what a slave you were to cigarettes. I remember searching for open petrol stations at midnight because I had run out of ciggies and couldn't sleep unless I had a full pack in the house.
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