A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My b/f and I went to dinner with some other couples, to an authentic Indian restaurant and there were belly dancers performing that night. When one of the dancers came to our table the other men barely glanced at her, they nodded and went back to their food, and the conversation going on at our table, but my b/f turn full body towards her and didn't take his eyes off of her until the entire dance was finished. I was so embarrassed that he was gawking to intently at her and she was even flirting with him because she noticed he was enjoying himself (a little too much in my opinion). I felt kind of foolish and tried to make a joke to cover my irritation. When we were alone I mentioned that I thought he was a little too "obviously" interested and felt a little insecure, since no one else's husband acted like that. He just told me I was being too sensitive. Was I?....The other wives didn't seem to mind, although their men didn't gawk at her either. Do you think his behavior was a little disrespectful? We have a good relationship. Maybe I am making too much about of this, but it's sort of killing my ego. Please give me your opinions.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): id leave him over this blatant disrespect for you and desire for other women...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): I'd say this is pretty rude, particularly as the other men barely even glanced in her direction. My bf used to do this all the time, but every time he did we would have a row about it. I'm not really sure of their reasons but perhaps there is an underlying issue. When my bf did this, I think that in his head he perhaps was NOT committed to me and I sensed this. He was having a good look around and clearly didn't mind that it upset me, as I said we would row about it every time. Then, something changed and I really don't know what or why. Suddenly, he's considering marriage and babies (where before he categorically would not). So, yesterday we went for lunch (there was six of us), and a very pretty waitress served us. His old form would have ensured he had a good gawk, however, he never even glanced in her direction and his body language was nice and calm (normally if he saw a pretty girl he'd suddenly start acting weirdly, like scratching the top of his head or scratching his eye so he could peak out the side without being seen). I think you need to have a serious conversation with him and find out what is behind all of this. He may well be a hot blooded male, but I'll also assume he has a brain which he better use to work out his behaviour is crass and if he keeps on doing it, then he ought to be single.
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A
male
reader, JSBach  +, writes (27 July 2009):
Give him a break. Belly dancers spend years perfecting the art of getting men to stare at them, and they are damn good at it. Strippers bore me to tears. All they seem to say with their act is "here's my vagina", but belly dancers are saying "I want you".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): Well, pardon your husband for being a normal, red-blooded male!Forget it and appreciate the fact your old man's normal.Anyway, who did he end up taking home?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): Insecurity often exaggerates the perception of scenarios in which you are uncomfortable about. Indeed, he could very well have stared at the dancer and this could be disrespectful towards you, but at the same time, your perception of him staring at the dancer could also be skewered due to your insecurity in the first place.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): Sorry, I have to put my hand up and admit that I did this once. My wife used to teach at a fashion design college, and she invited me to the end of year fashion show once. I rather disgraced myself by staring open-mouthed at the miniskirted teenage girls parading on the catwalk. It was all the worse because they were her students. Yes it was disrespectful, and yes I had to apologise profusely.
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