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... Send *uylostinlove a private message | | | *uylostinlove's profile:I'm a very straightforward person. Especially if I'm giving advice. I find it easier to give than to receive. It's very hard at times to follow what we preach. I'll tell you outright what I think about it. Whether you agree with it or not is up to you. Yes, so ... the majority of the time ... I do think I'm right. :-x
I do believe in karma. And, that's how I follow up on things nowadays .. I don't want to be on the bad side of it by something I do! |
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He will not introduce me to his parents. This is driving me nuts because we have been together 7 years!!
Q. Here is my issue and I'd love some feedback on it. I've been with my current boyfriend almost 7 yrs now, living together for 6 and engaged for 5yrs. My problem is that he will not introduce me to his parents. This is driving me nuts because we ...
A. 30 December 2006: Well, let's go into possible reasons from the guy's perspective ...
How often does he go home to visit his parents? Does he hold a well paid/decent job? If he does, the money is not the issue ... that is if he contributes his half of the expenses... (read in full...)
I thought he was my soul mate but he doesn't see me enough!
Q. I "thought" I met my soulmate 4 months ago. I am 41 and he's 34 and we both are college graduates and in the education field. He asked me to marry him after he lands a promotion as a principal. The problem is although he calls me several times a ...
A. 30 December 2006: He won't spend the night even on the weekends?
Does he call you when he's at home?
Have you called his house number (if he has one)?
Why don't you ask to go to his place one time ...
Is he very private with his personal life? Maybe th... (read in full...)
Too full on? How do I rectify things?
Q. I met this guy online and we started getting to know each other and he would call about every other day.he is in college and he works so I know he is a busy man.one day he asked me why i didn't call him and it was because i didn't have the right ...
A. 19 December 2006: Let things cool down a bit then resume calling him but at a moderation. Perhaps after some time has passed, he'll have some thoughts about it all and realized what's going on. ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and he's 19 w/ a gf. We kissed - does he really love me?
Q. Hey, I rele love this boy and he said he loved me. A week ago we kissed, I knew he had a girlfriend but it just happened. He's 19 and I'm only 13. I don't know whether he is using me or if he rele means he loves me how can I tell??...
A. 19 December 2006: How long have you known him?
Just reading your question ... I would make a assumption that he's kissed other girls before and said that to them. You know he has a girlfriend, why get yourself entangled into such a mess. You're only 13 .. plent... (read in full...)
I have pubic hair problems!
Q. Im only 14, but Im really paranoid about my pubic hair. Ive got loads. Should I just trim it with scissors? I cant talk to my mum about it. Will she be mad if i get rid of it? Please Help!!!...
A. 19 December 2006: To clarify, having less pubic hair can also make that area cleaner and easier to clean. Easiest route to go would be to trim it with scissors or a motorized razor/shaver.... (read in full...)
Do you think my ex wants to see me to tell me if she really cheated on me, or b/c she wants to get the money I owe her?
Q. My Ex Girlfriend want's me to see me tomoz. do u think she's going to finally tell me the truth about what happend last weekend. i know she doesn't have to tell me. but she must of knew the rumor about her going back 2 some guy's house would get ...
A. 19 December 2006: Sounds pretty obvious. So, I'll go with the obvious answer.
You guys broke up. She wants her money back. She's not going to be telling you jack. Regardless of if she did it or not. Time to pony up.
... (read in full...)
Should I call my ex of 10 years to wish him well over the holidays?
Q. Hi everyone....merry Xmas and happy holidays by the way. I was with my partner for about ten years. We split about six months ago. We tried to remain friends but I guess there was bitterness on my part as he was really the one who ended with it so ...
A. 19 December 2006: If you're only calling him to wish him greetings for the holidays, there's no reason to hold back. If you have other intentions and not looking to get rejected in any way then don't do it. If you've gotten over whatever hangups you guys had when ... (read in full...)
Met up with 2 old ex bfs while on a date with the new guy! Was this fate and why did it happen?
Q. Do you believe in fate? I just went on a second date with a guy (whom I think will turn out to be just a good friend) but on the way to the bar I spotted my ex who I was with for 6 years and who broke up with me 8 months ago! He was walking ahead so ...
A. 19 December 2006: The world is full of coincidences. I think it more implies that you are already having subconscious thoughts that this new guy is definitely not right for you (as you stated). So, perhaps you're just looking for some reinforcement that isn't right ... (read in full...)
My parents are on track to ruining our relationship because they think he is below my social status!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a little over a year and I love him to pieces. I cannot imagine life without him, and he loves me just as much. We are planning on being with eachother for a long time. So, it breaks my heart that my parents, especially ...
A. 19 December 2006: It all depends to what ends/means your parents will arrive at. My parents threatened to disown my brother at one point because the girl he was dating had two kids. They're too narrowminded and old fashioned to be open to the idea that he was ... (read in full...)
He pays no attention to me and always looks at other girls? Should I let this one go?
Q. hey there i need help how can i get my boyfriend to pay attention to me he never does. he is always looking at other girls should i break it off with him ?? ...
A. 19 December 2006: By the way, I just wanted to add another observation that came to me. My girlfriend's cousin ... he had a girlfriend who was hot by every standard .. face, body, etc. I would rate her a 8/10. But, when I was around him, I noticed he was always ... (read in full...)
She's not told anyone about our relationship - can someone really value their privacy that much?
Q. Does anyone else see something odd/wrong with this ... My girlfriend (long distance) hasn't outright told her sisters/brother that she has a boyfriend. Even when I went down to visit her. At the time, she told me that she valued her privacy ....
A. 18 December 2006: Well, I just did it again today. We got into another big argument.
I told her I found it extremely disrespectful that ... every time, coincidentally, she doesn't pickup my calls or call me when she's out and about with her friends. Just like it ... (read in full...)
I dont know where I stand!
Q. theres a girl i like in my residence, and we have been getting on very well, but i find out she has a boyfriend in australia. about a week before she sets off to see him, we're crashed out on her bed and she starts kissing me. i tell her she has a ...
A. 17 December 2006: Move on. Sounds like something she did without thinking about it. Maybe she wanted some company and there you were ... you could've been any other guy for the heck of it. ... (read in full...)
We both come from different cultures..and our parents object! Should we keep dating or just end it?
Q. ooooh where to start.... i have met this girl almost a year and a half ago... there was this late summer friends gathering and i meet this girl for the first time.... we took each others number and started talking on the phone for the coming ...
A. 17 December 2006: I say .. if you're happy with your current situation .. forget about what the future might bring. You never know what the future might be (in terms of your parents thinking). So, worry about it then. Right now, you've got happy times and I would ... (read in full...)
Being 'sex buddies' with him really screwed around with my head! Any advice to help me move on from all this?
Q. For a year (since yesterday) I had a very intense and significant on/off relationship with a guy. We broke up in October, were sex buddies for a month and then kept randomly meeting up and fooling around. We've been relatively close throughout the ...
A. 17 December 2006: If you want to move on ... the best thing might be for you to get all that hatred out. Write a letter to him and stuff it away or tear it up. Just get the thoughts in your head out. I find that to be very helpful to me when I want to forget about ... (read in full...)
All she does is talk about material posessions and spending money! And all she likes to do is sit around and watch TV!
Q. Im feeling a bit fed up with the routine I have with my girlfriend. We have been going out not for a year and as none of us can drive yet find it difficult to do new things together. I find my girlfriend very repetative and irritable at tim...
A. 17 December 2006: You probably can't. She's lazy. Well, that's how I would label her. And, it's probably because her parents condone it. With that being the case, you're very unlikely to change her. Though, since you mentioned that you guys don't drive .. it ... (read in full...)
How to tell her she has let herself go?
Q. Ok, here's a tricky one.....I met my gf bout 2 yrs ago. She's 5 yrs my senior (30) and physically she looks ok. The thing is , I get bothered by the fact that she has been a model in her early 20's, only for a few years, bcoz she didnt like the idea ...
A. 17 December 2006: I don't think it's something he can help .. if he likes attractive looking women .. It's the way society has put an image on what everyone should look like. So, most of the time, we are what our environment shapes us to be like. That can't be ... (read in full...)
My bf refused to pay for my food. Should I dump him?
Q. I ordered a piee of pizza last night and the guy behind the counter looked at my boyfriend and said "it's ready". I looked at him and he looked at me and said, "What... aren't you going to pay?" I felt instantly insulted that he didn't offer to buy ...
A. 17 December 2006: It's a deal breaker if you feel that way. Sometimes, gestures like that don't come normally to people. You didn't mention how long you've been going out with him. I don't think you should label him cheap ... people sometimes are just not ... (read in full...)
I'm a man in my 40's and I'm still a virgin! What is wrong with me?
Q. I'm a man in my 40's and I'm still a virgin (I know it's embarrasing). I have a good career ad I try to get to know people but people just seem to avoid me. Even my co-workers, I know I can be a typical boss and despite people thinking I am happy, ...
A. 17 December 2006: I don't think the virgin part should matter right now. I think first you have to deal with the people issue. Are you a very assertive person? Perhaps you've coming off way too assertive to your coworkers. You really have to look into how you ... (read in full...)
He pays no attention to me and always looks at other girls? Should I let this one go?
Q. hey there i need help how can i get my boyfriend to pay attention to me he never does. he is always looking at other girls should i break it off with him ?? ...
A. 17 December 2006: If you've had a talk with him about this before ... try reversing the tables on him. When you're out in public, try giving another guy a look or comment like he does with the girls. I'm sure it will probably catch his attention. Especially if you ... (read in full...)
After being with bad boys I found someone who treats me well. But..I found porn under his bed and I'm upset. What should I do?
Q. I am 22 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. I have a low self esteem because I got bullied at school (I didn't wear much make up so I guess the other girls were jealous). I had 2 boyfriends when I was at uni early on ...
A. 17 December 2006: Just consider porn as nothing more than acting. It may not be your cup of tea but there's nothing wrong with it. Did you know that the females get paid multiples more than their male counterparts? This is probably the only industry where females ... (read in full...)
How can I make 'it' sensitive again?
Q. Up until 2 months ago i hadnt had a girlfriend in a long time. So in order to relieve sexual tension i masturbated. Me and my girlfriend only started to have sex a couple of weeks ago and ive found it hard to feel it when my enter her. I heard that ...
A. 17 December 2006: The answer to this would be: foreplay! Foreplay is a mental and physical stimulation. If you prep enough during foreplay, regardless of if you feel it's not 'tight' enough .. the mental stimulation you've gotten beforehand will help bring you to ... (read in full...)
His financial troubles make him depressed and bitter towards me! Why?
Q. he is my love, my life, my everything... he is in a financial bind that has changed him...a lot! i miss my old 'J'. when he had money we were always going out and we were always happy it seemed like...and now that he has spent it all, he is struggli...
A. 16 December 2006: Money's trouble for everyone. Whether we have it or we don't.
Hopefully, he has the sense to come out of it with his head intact. I went through a lot of financial trouble a few years ago. Wanted to give it up. But, thinking things through,... (read in full...)
I like her, but it's bad timing to tell her - other guys are asking her out, too! What should I do?
Q. I've liked this girl for nearly 6 months. I told her how I feel after about 3 weeks but the timing was just awful. She had just gotten out of a relationship and was in the middle of other things and she told me such. But since then we've gone ...
A. 16 December 2006: Did she say NO to all of them?
If she did ... and she told you that ... then sounds like she's most likely giving you a hint. Perhaps it's time to ask her again ... especially if you guys have been getting along so well. I see no harm it in ... a... (read in full...)
After he got a full time job, his friends became distant. Is he only w/ me because he has nobody else??
Q. okay I've been dating this guy for a little while and he seems to like me. We haven't kissed yet which is a good thing I guess. I don't like rushing into anything. Anyway, we talk on the phone every night for fours! We don't really have anything ...
A. 16 December 2006: Your reason is his reason. Look at what you wrote "I stay on the phone with him because I don't have anything better to do".
You may not think of yourself as lonely ... but, maybe he just phrased it wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong wi... (read in full...)
My ex and I still talk occasionally and her mom still visits me at college - I found out she's got another bf though!
Q. My girlfriend of 9 months and I broke up in July after I moved to college, however, every so often we talk, and her mother still visits me. This month I found out she is in a new relationship, but when I had asked her if she had found anyone, she ...
A. 16 December 2006: Maybe -- Judging from the answer she gave you. Or, perhaps she didn't want to hurt your feelings. But, that's something you have to find out from her. If she's still thinking about you ... I'd do it soon before she got into anything serious with ... (read in full...)
I feel he forgets about me, when he's not around. What should I do?
Q. I have what could be described as a long distance relationship as the guy lives 2 bus journey away (40 mins) but in the same city ive been with him just over a month and see him every 7-14 days thats im ok with. but i would like to hear from him ...
A. 16 December 2006: What exactly are you guys up to when you see each other?
Is it just making out and/or sex?
If you have instant messaging/email readily available, I don't see why you guys don't correspond/chat more often. There's just no excuse (imo)!
Pe... (read in full...)
We talked about marriage but now he wants a 'break' to think on it! What should I do?
Q. I have dated my BF for just over one year and he says he knows that he wants to be with me and he is in love with me. We have discussed marriage in the future and he says he is not sure when he wants that. He does want it eventually he just doesnt ...
A. 16 December 2006: Have you guys considered living together if you're not already?
His cousin would probably only be right partially if time had anything to do with the fact that you might want kids in the future. If kids are not in your immediate/near future t... (read in full...)
Whos' telling the truth? My bf or this other 'girl'?
Q. I dont no whether to beleive my long term boyfriend....or the 'girl' .My boyfriend told me that this girl has liked him for a long time, but my boyfriend had chose my over her, she now tells all her friends that my boyfriend has been texting ...
A. 16 December 2006: Who's the other girl to you?
If he's been your boyfriend for that long, believe the boyfriend. Has he done anything to give you any reason to believe what that girl says? Human nature is full of jealously and contempt. Sounds like the othe... (read in full...)
She cheated on me so I ended it. But am wondering...should I still get her an xmas gift?
Q. I told her to stay away from me, but i like to offer her a gift from the xmas so that she will not think i stopped the relationship because i dont want to get her a gift. Hello dearcupid, I being dating out a girl for some months now, but I find ...
A. 16 December 2006: Hard to say.
I'm the vehement and vengeful type when I get hurt.
If my girlfriend cheated on me and I had a gift ready
for her ... I'd probably break it and send it to her. :-x
Though, that's probably not the right way to deal with the sit... (read in full...)
I made a vow of chastity until marriage but my bf keeps cheating on me! Help me..any advice?
Q. I have a huge problem. I have dated my bf for 5 years, now during these five years he cheated on me on three occasions. The first time it was with a lady from my town, I caught them red handed at his house at 1am. We broke up, but after a couple o...
A. 16 December 2006: Have you guys been doing everything BUT actual intercourse?
It may be easy to say .. but, you would think he'd forget about it (intercourse) after he had his orgasms ....
On the whole, you can't believe it was "just for the sex". Sounds like ... (read in full...)
I keep getting dumped by guys for less attractive girls, what's wrong with me?
Q. I keep getting dumped by guys for less attractive girls, what's wrong with me? Dear all, I don't want to sound presumptous but I'm a very pretty 29 y.o. (I used to model when I was in high school), I've got 3 degrees (law, biology and an MBA...
A. 16 December 2006: The problem probably arises from the fact that you might be more successful than the boyfriends you've had? Or, they've just had nervous sensations being around you. A successful woman makes a guy nervous .. embarrassed even.
My brother'... (read in full...)
I've done porn, lapdancing, and led a promiscuous lifestyle. Should I stop all this?
Q. dear cupid, i think that i'm too dirty. you see, i have done 3 porn movies, i have been a lapdancer, pole dancer, and i have slept with 2 people at the same time for money. i also go on a lot of porn websites and i sometimes film myself when hav...
A. 16 December 2006: I say .. porn is porn. You didn't say if you like doing it. If you do, why stop? That's why people make a career out of it. They like it ... they get paid for it, heck what could be better than those two combined (liking what you get paid to do). ... (read in full...)
Why would a man choose internet porn, for sexual grafication over his beautiful wife? My self esteem is low as he deprives me! Any good advice?
Q. Why would you husband choose internet porn for sexual grafication over his beautiful wife? I don' t nag him. I am open minded and interested in new sexual experiments. We have great days weeks and months together. We don't arguue have two beautiful ...
A. 16 December 2006: To be honest, it's probably just something that might need to be accepted. Unless it's an issue where it takes up the majority of his free time. It may not be the fact that he finds you unattractive ... but perhaps that he thinks he has to... (read in full...)
Five days later, he contacted me after he dumped me! Why can't he just leave me alone?
Q. well the saga continues. My boyfriend of eight months who did the I love you and your perfect speech then finished with me... contacted me five days later asking how I was and then said miss you. How shitty is that why do you think he said that. Is ...
A. 16 December 2006: Because he's as distraught as you and probably can't make up his mind. Sometimes we do things in the spur of the moment. Thus, maybe he had afterthoughts and really didn't want to break up with you. But, that's probably only something you guys ... (read in full...)
They are misuing me but what can I do...I am so lonely! What should I do?
Q. What should I do? I have bf who occassionally hits me and female friend who is very devious. She starts rumors behind my back. I am so lonely from relocating to another state I have no other friends here. I know these people are misusing me but I ...
A. 16 December 2006: Find new friends!
Why do you let yourself being a abusive relationship like that. For all the loneliness in the world, it's not worth it in the long run. Are you in school? If you are, there should be loads of people you will eventual... (read in full...)
Can a guy be propositioned by someone pretty and not take her up on it?
Q. i have just had my suspisions confirmed. Now after my partner has just been away for 2 nights on the bounce - me not knowing where he was, not answering his mobile my partner has just said that he was out pubbing recently and was propositioned by a ...
A. 16 December 2006: Probably realistic enough. If, he got nervous enough to back out right at that moment. I can probably sit here writing and tell you most likely a guy will go for it. But, we never know what happens in a situation like that. A thousand thoughts ... (read in full...)
I'm only 15 and he propsed but I don't want to be tied down! What should I do?
Q. Hiya! ive been going out with my boyfriend sort of on and off for the past 6 months.When we first started going out it was all a bit of a laugh, but recently he has been acting really strangely. I asked him what was goimg on and he actually ...
A. 16 December 2006: You answered your own question. You're young, you still have years of fun ahead, with or without him. Besides the age question, you're definitely not ready to be tied down.
Say you're not old enough. Say your parents would not approve.... (read in full...)
She feels living with her will cause regret for me, later...is it possible that this won't happen?
Q. My girlfriend wants to live together with no promises on marriage. At first I was against it but thought about it and re-considered it and decided I was fine with it. Now she wants to break up because she thinks I will regret it later down the ...
A. 16 December 2006: Honestly, I've always felt that you don't get to truly know someone until you've been around them 24/7. Why she would want to break up with you at this point is beyond me .. just sounds like she's very nervous about it from what you said about her ... (read in full...)
Didn't know he was married and now I'm 5 months pregnant by him...
Q. Ok. Well, I've contemplated writing in here, but ever heard the saying "You'll go nuts if you don't talk to someone?", yeah. Well that's me. I'm a single mom of a daughter who is 13. I got into a relationship not knowing this man was married. When I ...
A. 29 November 2006: you didn't mention if you want to keep the baby ...
i guess it's been quite a few months (?) since you found out that you were pregnant ... means you are keeping the baby?
well, if you're up to raising the child alone, you should at least have h... (read in full...)
She's not told anyone about our relationship - can someone really value their privacy that much?
Q. Does anyone else see something odd/wrong with this ... My girlfriend (long distance) hasn't outright told her sisters/brother that she has a boyfriend. Even when I went down to visit her. At the time, she told me that she valued her privacy ....
A. 29 November 2006: Hi, thanks for your answers. Dr Pete, you do have some valid points and questions. So, here's some clarification from my side of what I know ...
I've known her for over three years. She used to live here in New York. About two years ago, ove... (read in full...)
She's not told anyone about our relationship - can someone really value their privacy that much?
Q. Does anyone else see something odd/wrong with this ... My girlfriend (long distance) hasn't outright told her sisters/brother that she has a boyfriend. Even when I went down to visit her. At the time, she told me that she valued her privacy ....
A. 27 November 2006: thanks for the answer ... i forgot to mention that she's only been "officially" my girlfriend for 6 months even though i've known her 3 years. and, i know she's always had some hangups about the fact that she met me online ...... (read in full...)
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