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female
age
36-40,
*ozzy-ere06
writes: dear cupid, i think that i'm too dirty. you see, i have done 3 porn movies, i have been a lapdancer, pole dancer, and i have slept with 2 people at the same time for money. i also go on a lot of porn websites and i sometimes film myself when having sex. There is also a lot of pictures and video clips of me giving bj's and sucking tits on websites. i have only just realised how much i have done, for my age, when someone rang me up for sex and i went over and when i got there, the man said no because off something he had seen on a website. i was confused at first of why he was bothered when he rang me for sex.should i stop all this? am i a slapper for doing this? please reply, Lauren
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): My dearest,
I'm glad that God has given you senses to worry about what you are doing....which means that your conscious is not approving of your behaviour.
There'll be loads of people,specially guys who would tell u to go ahead with it instead of worrying about the world's opinion. They would consider it as totally 'cool'. However pls remember none of those people will ever wanna marry a slut or fall in love with a slut...It's only for their physical satisfaction & when it comes to marriage & love people look for respectful, well behaved girls.
I'm not saying that you are bad. Life can be always started anew. People all make mistakes. Realising it & learning from it is the greatest thing. If you really do change, you will see the difference. It will not be easy as people already see u as something different...Don't worry, there are a lot of good people in this world who will be willing to forgive & forget. Leave the people out, for your own good & mental satisfaction..start anew...Live a good life...Study, work hard for a living..Life is too valuabe for this kinda thing...
Good luck...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): i don't mean to sound nasty. i just have 1 thing to say.Do you have respect for yourself and do you want a happy life and have a family of your own one day. i'm not saying what you do is wrong but if you want this.. you need to think does a man want a a girl to love who goes and sleeps with other men for money and more filmed and exposed to the whole world.I hope you make the right decision and hope all goes well for you xxxx
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A
female
reader, scared16 +, writes (18 December 2006):
 you should only stop if u want to stop. if you enjoy what you do then great carry on. don't stop because of other peoples opinions and how they judge you its your thoughts and feelings that count. i think you should have a break from it all for now to decide what are you going to do with your life. good luck and be strong x x x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006):
I can confirm that I am able to stop this line of work. I repeat, I can at this time, tell you to stop this line of work.
You are the some total of your actions. You think you have some wall inside you mind that will let you have sex for money and not have that effect your psyche? You are foreclosing the possibility of possibility of having a romantic relationship.
Go work in a shoe store, take out some loans and go to college. You can easily move beyond this and get on with a real life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): Lauren, no one can really advise you to stop or stay in this line of work. It all depends on what you get out of it. However, in my opinion, I do believe that people should only give their body and heartfelt emotions to the persons that loves and respects them. But I have to think that if you are writing in and asking for opinions--you may having some confusion or bit of an moral tug-of-war there, as to whether this is the type of lifestyle you want to lead. I can only say what I feel and I personally think. You can take what you want from what I am saying to you..after all, it is just my opinion.
I am deeply worried for your emotional well-being, your pride, your self-respect, your dignity and physical health--I really think you should quit. You are in a quandry and asking.."does this lifestyle make me dirty?" For you to be asking that, I am wondering if this lifestyle is truthfully, making you feel bad about yourself. If so then then you can stop. And you should know, that every day you go through without doing the things that make you feel bad, you're will be moving on and creating a new history in your life. You can begin anew and get a new lease on life-you can leave this all behind.
I strongly believe that life is choices, not being trapped or forced to do anything we feel may be hurting us. I personally think you can do better for yourself. There a whole lot of young, wonderful, lovely women in this world that are working hard to educate themselves, settling into good careers, getting married and experiencing loving and caring relationships with good quality men, without selling themselves in the sex trade. And if they can do that, you can , too. I think what's happening is you could be developing, maturing and you may be thinking, about the negative backlash, many women suffer, in the sex trade. Please don't forget about the fact that you are intelligent, articulate, creative and energetic. What you need is to have hopes, goals and dreams. If you want to, today can be the day that you can start doing something about this-you just have to make a life decision here. You have to say, I'm going to live my life with dignity, pride and self-respect. You may have to do with less financially but really, living your life outside of the sex trade will truly give you more, in the prideful, dignified sense. Clean and safe and healthy and sound is a good place to start. It's going to take strength and courage but I hoestly believe you can do it.
If you read this and you feel it's not what you wanted to hear...then disregard what I'm saying but, I've told you what I think and it comes from the heart. Good luck, dear and please take care of yourself.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 If it makes YOU uncomfortable then stop doing it. If it doesn't and it pays the bills then continue. Why are you asking for confirmation of how YOU PERSONALLY feel on a website. These are your choices honey, so you need to make them based on how you feel. Not what others think.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): No, I wouldn't about it. If you like it, awesome, you're sexually liberated. If you're worried, well, it's fine, cuz that shows you have some sense in how others may perceive you. You have to also take into consideration that it's more difficult for a person who does porn and being promiscuous to find really good love, than a person who isn't promiscuous.
The thing is, you might eventually grow out of it anyway. So I wouldn't worry too much. I know it makes you feel dirty, but it's not really a big deal. Just be safe and don't spread the diseases, then it's all good and dandy. 8]
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (17 December 2006):
 Surely you knew people wouldn't react too well to your lifestyle when you took it up right? It didn't bother you back then so why does it bother you now? If you enjoy what you do, then stick with it but be prepared to receive some negative impressions because of it. Society (notice 'i after e except after c' doesn't work all the time?) wont be changing their views on that lifestyle any time soon.
If you'd rather give up that life, I personally think that would be the better option. There's no real future in the porn industry especially if you're having doubts. Its also good on moral reasons (no one tell me morality is subjective or not important! People are dying in Iraq for trying to adopt good moral values) So get out of this sex business, its totally not good
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A
male
reader, guylostinlove +, writes (16 December 2006):
I say .. porn is porn. You didn't say if you like doing it. If you do, why stop? That's why people make a career out of it. They like it ... they get paid for it, heck what could be better than those two combined (liking what you get paid to do). I don't think you should stop something like that just because someone else had adverse reaction to it. If you don't find the sex degrading, then there's nothing wrong with it. When you find the level of sex that you're doing to be degrading to you as a person then that's maybe when you should stop.
As far as pornography goes, I think the majority of what's out there is fine. It's helping fulfill a lot of people's fantasies in their minds. Matters that otherwise would make them want to take into their own hands.
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A
female
reader, honkifuluvnicole  +, writes (16 December 2006):
 Wow,
that life you were leading/are leading isnt a very positive or healthy life.
Although, if you seem to like it, then keep it up.
But I think you should stop, because to me, that is dirty. I dont want to sound mean or anything like that, because for some people, its a good life.
Honestly though, if you want to start new, then go for it!!!! It wont be easy, but you will feel better about the world and most of all, yourself.
Best of luck.
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2006): If you're enjoying yourself then carry on but I must say you can't be earning yourself a very good reputation.
If you want to stop the perhaps you should because let's just say it's not doing you any good.
If you put it behind you, you can start affresh.
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