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female
age
41-50,
*OOTS4FINS
writes: I have dated my BF for just over one year and he says he knows that he wants to be with me and he is in love with me. We have discussed marriage in the future and he says he is not sure when he wants that. He does want it eventually he just doesnt know when. Last week he talked with a female cousin about this and she told him he was being a jerk and should give me a real answer about our future. I am 32. Now he wants a break to think about what he wants. What do you guys think? Do you think he should know what he wants by now or is this break a good thing? He repeatedly has said he is not considering leaving me...he just needs time to think about where this realationship is going. He still calls and we will see each other tonight. He just turned 30 a couple of months ago and his career isnt where he would like and is depressed about that. I do not think he is cheating on me at all. I asked if he thought we should see other people on our break and he adamently said no. He tells me to think positive because everything is going to be fine and he promises he is not going anywhere. How much time should I wait? Could this be a good thing? I think he is just confused about himself right now. What do you all think? Thanks so much!
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female
reader, ROOTS4FINS +, writes (17 December 2006):
ROOTS4FINS is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for taking the time to reply. I think you are right...he just needs time to get his head straight. I just wanted to get a guys opinion. Thanks again!
A
male
reader, guylostinlove +, writes (16 December 2006):
Have you guys considered living together if you're not already?
His cousin would probably only be right partially if time had anything to do with the fact that you might want kids in the future. If kids are not in your immediate/near future then your age doesn't matter. Especially considering that you guys have only been going out for about a year. To me, marriage in such a short time frame (even if you guys will be engaged for a year) is just out of the question.
The things you mentioned about him, maybe he's just plainly not ready. I know I think about my career all the time and how I could provide for my family, etc. So, what he mentioned isn't exactly unbelieveable issues. Plus, he's told you that he didn't want to take a break to see other people .. he just needs time ...
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