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| | *airy Godmother's profile:My only qualification is that I've been on this planet for 42 years and have lived a bit and loved a lot. I have one child who I adore. I will give you my honest opinion based on what you tell me, my experience and observations. I give all my answers with respect and love to you. |
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I resisted temptation. Now how do I get over it?
Q. I am a married man with 2 kids and a good person. I have been married for 9 years and love my family. I also have a great job and CANNOT lose it. I am having a real problem at work...I have a married co worker with whom I have harmlessy flirte...
A. 14 April 2009: I think you have shown great strength in the face of great temptation and I believe you are doing absolutely the right thing in not pursuing this relationship any further. It sounds very hard for you, particularly as you see this woman regularly ... (read in full...)
Do Virgo men take an awfully long time to open up and trust women?
Q. I have been in love with a man since last summer. I made my feelings towards him fairly clear but at Christmas he said he could only offer me friendship, despite the fact that he was sending messages to indicate he wanted more. I decided I would de...
A. 14 April 2009: Thank you everyone for your answers. I perhaps gave the impression that I'm really into stars etc., which I'm not. Just coincidence that I happened to read something about Virgo men that seemed to mirror my experience, that's all. Really I am ... (read in full...)
My husband swore this was the first time he cheated. Do I give him a chance?
Q. My partner of 10 years and father of our 2 children,youngest 6months old has been sort of offhand with me for the past few weeks. He came home tonight and blurted out he had been seeing a co-worker for the past few weeks and has finished with her ...
A. 13 April 2009: I'm not surprised you are in shock. However, your husband hasn't slept with this person, you must trust that he has told you the truth about all that has happened, he is obviously deeply sorry and he wants to mend your relationship. If you stil... (read in full...)
I would like to have my parents' blessing, but how do I tell them about this relationship?
Q. I come from a very religious family (my father is a pastor) I am a youth pastor. Just a little over a year ago a young girl joined our church she was married to a very abusive man and had a 1 yr old son and was pregnancy. I helped her leave her ...
A. 13 April 2009: Dear Jon Firstly I just wanted to say what a kind, supportive man you sound. There seem to be three main issues here: 1. Your girlfriend is still married and I suspect that neither you nor your family are/will be comfortable with that. 2. You ar... (read in full...)
I was thinking how to beat the 'I'm too embarrassed' and 'I'm scared' feeling when telling some one you love them.
Q. Hiya. I was thinking how to beat the 'I'm too embarrassed' and 'I'm scared' feeling when telling some one you love them. Peaces xx...
A. 13 January 2009: You can't! If you lay your feelings on the line to someone you care for you are making yourself very vulnerable.
However, I don't think there is anyone who hasn't felt embarrassed or scared about saying 'I love you' when they truly mean it. The... (read in full...)
Love Tactics - How to Win the One You Want - Advice from anyone who has read it?
Q. I'm interested to hear from anyone who has read the book 'Love Tactics - How to Win the One You Want' by Thomas McKnight and Robert Phillips. I've been following the advice in this book with someone I care for since last summer but I'm finding it ...
A. 13 January 2009: Thank you very much for your further advice and I'm sorry to hear you got into a row. I hope you've managed to resolve that and make up?
I can talk to him about anything so wouldn't be frightened to ask about personal stuff, if the time was righ... (read in full...)
Love Tactics - How to Win the One You Want - Advice from anyone who has read it?
Q. I'm interested to hear from anyone who has read the book 'Love Tactics - How to Win the One You Want' by Thomas McKnight and Robert Phillips. I've been following the advice in this book with someone I care for since last summer but I'm finding it ...
A. 12 January 2009: Thank you for your help. He is 39, never been married but has had a couple of serious relationships that ended. He lives on his own with two cats. I am quite certain he is not seeing anyone else because he is a decent, kind and honest man and I ... (read in full...)
I always seem interested in my friend's girlfriends and want this to stop. Help!
Q. Please don't hate me or judge me for what am going to ask, I just wanna know WHY!! Ok, I am a 23 year old guy who adores women in general and just love to give them what they desire and need. That's not the problem though, I find myself only attr...
A. 12 January 2009: I don't know if my reply might help you and please forgive me if I sound a little blunt, but here goes...
Firstly, why do you presume you know what any woman desires and needs if you don't really know her? The only way any of us can know someone'... (read in full...)
Why all the mixed messages from him?
Q. Here is my problem... Colleagues and friends with a Virgoan man for 3 years (him 39 and me 42), occasional mild flirting from him but nothing more since both in relationships. Both our relationships ended (at different times) and friendsh...
A. 6 January 2009: Thank you ladies for your helpful, kind and reassuring advice. I am an open and honest person and I have never been interested in game-playing, which is why in the end last week I just came right out and asked him what was going on. I don't know ... (read in full...)
Am I right to hope that this man really cares about me and that in the future our friendship will develop into something more?
Q. Hello, I would like some advice please since it is years since I last dated (my relationship of 9 years ended at the beginning of this year). I have been friends with a colleague for 3 years - just friends - but my feelings for him have become r...
A. 3 December 2008: Thank you so much for taking the trouble to reply to my question and for your kind and reassuring replies. It's lovely to take things slowly and be friends, and a breath of fresh air to meet a man who wants to take his time really getting to know ... (read in full...)
Have I sold myself cheap? Have I spoilt what could have been a 'proper' relationship by having sex with my co-worker and friend?
Q. I'm just following up on a question I posed on 12 August, which explained how I had sex with someone I have worked with and been friends with for nearly 3 years. (We are late 30s/early 40s and both fairly recently single after long-term ...
A. 27 August 2008: Well, he got back from his travels two days ago and last night I had a text asking how I was with a kiss. We exchanged a few friendly texts (I kept it light-hearted, although I did include a kiss at the end of my text too).
Feel very happy he... (read in full...)
How do I stay gone from him once I'm gone?? I keep coming back to him as I miss the good things that have been.
Q. I have been in an mostly emotional- sometimes physically abusive relationship for 7 years. We have 3 kids together- I have left this man at least once a year b/c I get to the point where I am so sick of being called a b____ and fat____ or dumb or ...
A. 27 August 2008: What are the good things about him? You haven't mentioned one; only negatives. Do the positive things really outweigh living a life of verbal and physical abuse? The fact that you leave him at least once a year tells me not.
The answer is you l... (read in full...)
Romantic gestures towards women - some brainstorming!
Q. Hi. For a little project I'm working on, please, would as many women as possible kindly list three gestures which they would deem to be 'romantic' towards them. Many thanks!...
A. 27 August 2008: 1. Flowers - needn't be expensive, just beautiful (and not in cellophane from a supermarket!).
2. An evening out that you have arranged and obviously put some thought into (having picked up on something she has said to you e.g. there is a new rest... (read in full...)
How do I take things deeper in this relationship?
Q. I've been seeing a girl in Spain for roughly 4 months. Things between us are quite sensational, physically, mentally...etc..its amazing. We're both in our 30's. The problem is, I don't know where we are at, in terms of commitment. I'm not sure ...
A. 26 August 2008: Hola! Perhaps I'm old-fashioned but I think if you've been seeing someone for 4 months and you sleep together, then you have a relationship.
It sounds to me as though you are both scared to admit your true feelings for one another, for fear you... (read in full...)
Have I sold myself cheap? Have I spoilt what could have been a 'proper' relationship by having sex with my co-worker and friend?
Q. I'm just following up on a question I posed on 12 August, which explained how I had sex with someone I have worked with and been friends with for nearly 3 years. (We are late 30s/early 40s and both fairly recently single after long-term ...
A. 26 August 2008: Will try and keep all these feelings in check when I see him but it will be an Oscar-winning performance! Thank you for your advice.... (read in full...)
How do I convince myself that my current fiancee is not my ex-wife so I can rid myself of the anxiety when she goes out?
Q. I am having a trust issue currently. My fiance, who I know would never cheat on me, likes to go out on girl's nights out to a local bar. I have seen the clientele in the bar, and at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I feel that I am better ...
A. 25 August 2008: So you know your fiancee would never cheat on you but...
You can't convince yourself, all you can do is trust. What happened to you before is in the past, with a different woman. I can perfectly understand your hurt and fear but you have met... (read in full...)
Are there any undamaged women left?
Q. I'm sick of trying to get along with a grown woman these days. Every woman I've known just makes the same mistakes in life for the same reasons. I don't even want to keep trying to find anyone different anymore. How do I find a grown adult ...
A. 25 August 2008: A grown woman is a woman who has experienced life's knocks, a mature woman is a woman who has experienced life's knocks, has learned from them, has done her best not to repeat her mistakes and still comes out with compassion for others, optimism and ... (read in full...)
Is my husband going through a major midlife crisis? How can I survive this?
Q. Is my husband going through major midlife crisis? Have been married 13 yrs, no children. All of sudden he is not happy with his life and everthing in it, home, boating has not been for several yrs (I did not know this) It seens to have come to hav...
A. 25 August 2008: I've read and re-read your question several times and can find nothing specific that could have triggered your husband's behaviour. I don't wish to belittle or label what is happening to you both but I do wonder if you are right in thinking he is ... (read in full...)
How do I make our first night together perfect?
Q. I will be spending a first night sleep over with my boyfriend, the thing is i'm looking for some romantic idea's on how to make it a perfect night ever please.and dont get me wrong i'm not a virgin i just want it to be perfectcause i love him so ...
A. 21 August 2008: Tantalise him beforehand by sending him a suggestive text message or give him a quick call to tell him how much you're looking forward to your evening together. Get him excited and wet his appetite!
It sounds as though you will be spending... (read in full...)
I'm in a great relationship, but I get a feeling I should still be "playing the field". How can I tell her?
Q. I've been dating this girl for almost a year. I love her. We live together. I think she could be the one. But I don't feel like I've finished playing the field. I'm not looking for another relationship, just some physical fun. My girlfriend is ...
A. 13 August 2008: I'm sorry but you can't have it both ways! You must make a choice between the relationship you have or the single life.
It sounds to me as if you are not ready for a true commitment yet and that you feel that you are somehow missing out. Or is i... (read in full...)
My husband left me and moved in with another woman straight away. He can't seem to make up his mind. Help!
Q. Hi, My husband left me and moved in with another women straight away that he had known for about 10 weeks. We have 2 children 7 and 8 years. He said at first he needed time to think, but now they have moved into another house together with her 5 ...
A. 13 August 2008: I would find it impossible to forgive his behaviour, if I were in your position. My advice would be to change your locks and get a good lawyer.
My heart goes out to you. Good luck!... (read in full...)
Ex-girlfriend pushing me away, is she right?
Q. hey, It's been a month and a half since my gf and I broke up after 9 months. We were friends before we dated. We're still in contact but it feels like she's pushing me away. Whenever i text her i'll get short, vague replies if she replies. ...
A. 13 August 2008: It sounds to me as if your girlfriend is struggling with your changing relationship; from friends to girlfriend/boyfriend and then back to friends again. Remember, it has only been a relatively short time since you ended the girlfriend/boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Should I drop a few hints or just forget about her and move on with my life?
Q. I need someone neutral's advice - I think I'm too close to the situation to be able to think clearly, and I don't know what the right thing to do is any more. My girlfriend and I have been living together for about 8 years, but recently we brok...
A. 12 August 2008: I'm so sorry to read about your situation and I think your decision to end your relationship is the right one. You are handling things with maturity and dignity.
However, under no circumstances should you get involved by blowing the whistle ... (read in full...)
Isn't kissing part of it all?
Q. Recently met a man -we shared some fun times but we didnt have sex as I didnt feel well (true) when he came to see me I kissed him goodbye on the lips but he didnt like it. However he was prepared to have sex with me-as he kept dropping hints-well ...
A. 12 August 2008: There's a scene in the film 'Pretty Woman' where Julia Roberts is about to have sex with Richard Gere and she tells him she will do anything except kiss him on the lips. At this stage she is a prostitute and he is her client.
It's not until th... (read in full...)
If my husband's ex'es are such good friends of him, why can't we all be friends instead of him sneaking?
Q. Hello, I have a question about my husband. Now, he has ex girlfriends that he consistently texts when we have arguments. Now, these girls are only like 21 or 22 and I'm 28, so naturally they have rude comments and don't really get the whole story of ...
A. 12 August 2008: If your husband is texting these women in a secretive/underhand way, which it sounds like, then he is behaving in a very inappropriate, hurtful and disrespectful way towards you. Texting ex-girlfriends in the middle of the night is completely ... (read in full...)
I can't make sense of why a man could be so loving but not want to take the relationship any further. Help!
Q. Feeling confused after having sex with a colleague who I have been friends with for nearly 3 years. We never got together before, since both in long-term relationships but have always got on really well and there was chemistry. In brief, had wond...
A. 12 August 2008: Thank you everyone for your opinions and advice. I do need to slow down a bit, you're right.
I don't think it is a commitment phobia, since he's spoken to me in the past of his desire to settle down, get married and start a family. He's also bee... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a girl, but she continues to stay with her controlling boyfriend. What to do?
Q. I need some advice I've fallen for a girl who I work with. For the past couple weeks we've been going out and having a good time but she already has a boyfriend. They keep arguing especially when he's had a drink and when he's had a drink he treats ...
A. 12 August 2008: I'm not sure there is much you can do whilst she remains in her current relationship. It is her decision whether she stays with her boyfriend or ends the relationship, and for the time being at least she is choosing to stay with him.
Suffi... (read in full...)
We broke up--can I get him back or do I move on?
Q. Myself and my ex have gotten bACK TOGETHER NOW AND THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER A YEAR. WE SPLIT UP DUE TO him being in a funny place but i know he loves me. he told me recently that he doesnt want to see me as he knows he wouldnt be able to ...
A. 12 August 2008: I feel you must respect his wishes that he doesn't want to see you, for whatever reason(s). I'm not clear from your question why he's in a funny place or why he loves you but feels it wouldn't be right. However, he obviously has some issues or ... (read in full...)
Am I right about my husband or not? Do I stay or go?
Q. Hi, I have a few questions, so hopefully I can put them all in one message. First off, we have only been married for less than a year and we have been fighting ever since we got married. My husband acts like a child, I have to tell him when to do EV...
A. 11 August 2008: I think you owe it to yourself, your husband and your children to try and sort these issues out properly before you make a decision about whether to leave.
It's easy to clock up a long mental list of everything a husband/partner does or doesn't ... (read in full...)
He said it was no strings sex--how do I know?
Q. hi im 30 in relationship with 2 children.ive known this guy 4 years as friends and we had sex together the other day he is also married with 2 kids he said it was just sex how do i know if its anything more need advice.he keeps saying dnt tell know ...
A. 11 August 2008: You don't know and all you can do is take him at his word. I suspect he's telling the truth: from his perspective it was just sex.
You're both in relationships where you have children so this was a fling for both of you. It sounds as though h... (read in full...)
I do want her but am I ready ?
Q. im very confused because i want to be with my girlfriend and i have been with her 8 months now but things just aint working because we dont have much trust but im not sure i can make this relationship work or even if im ready for a relationship..... ...
A. 11 August 2008: You sound terribly confused - poor you! My advice would be to take a deep breath, stand back a bit and think about what you really want.
Mutual trust is the foundation of any relationship. No trust = no relationship.
Why is there not much t... (read in full...)
We had no-strings sex, but now I'm confused what is going on
Q. Hello, Need some advice please. Been friends with a colleague at work for 3 years, getting along well and a little v. innocent flirting within strict boundaries since both in long-term relationships. Both relationships finished - his 18 months a...
A. 11 August 2008: Thank you very much for your feedback. You have confirmed my fears but it's better to know.
I am definitely a relationship kind of gal and not a no-strings sex siren (though I was pretty good, even though I do say so myself!). Although our afte... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to know if she truly loves me if it never comes from her with out me asking?
Q. I'm in love with a woman and I'm always expressing my feelings to her. we have been together in a relationship for 1 1/2 years now. i go to sleep with her on my mind and wake up excited that i will see her again like i see her every day. i think she ...
A. 11 August 2008: Loving someone is as much about what you do as what you say. It's lovely to hear someone tell you they love you but the words are meaningless if they're not backed up by loving actions.
Does she show her love for you? Does she listen to you, car... (read in full...)
How do I get over Mr Wrong?
Q. sorry for the lenght but i don't know how to explain it any better.... my first love was my first everything. i met him my junior year in high school. i had never really had a boyfriend before because most guys were afraid of my parents but not ...
A. 11 August 2008: He is just that: "Mr Wrong". My darling, you deserve so much better and you should never allow anyone to treat you this way.
It's not surprising your self-esteem is so low. I suspect it wasn't that great before you first got together with him... (read in full...)
Is there a way to see where my hymen is?
Q. I have a question about where my hymen is. I have looked at so many pictures (which were so nasty) and spent 30 to 40min "down there" and i just don't see it. I am a virgin and I do not have any reson not to have one, or atleast i don't think. So my ...
A. 11 August 2008: It's just a bit of flesh over the entrance to your vagina, and so is probably a bit difficult to pick out from the rest of the fleshy stuff down there. If you're a virgin, it's there somewhere but it's not something to worry about or think is ... (read in full...)
Between a rock and a hard place with his personal hygiene, what should I do ??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been living together for the past year. At the beginning of this his hygiene never seemed to be a problem but now one year later, he goes for 3 or more days without having a shower. This disgust me soo much. He is 38yrs ...
A. 11 August 2008: You have every right to tell him how you feel about his lack of personal hygiene. Quite honestly, it's disgusting and I don't blame you at all for feeling as you do.
You must talk to him and explain how you feel (with sensitivity), and ask him ... (read in full...)
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