A
female
age
51-59,
*airy Godmother
writes:Hello, I would like some advice please since it is years since I last dated (my relationship of 9 years ended at the beginning of this year).I have been friends with a colleague for 3 years - just friends - but my feelings for him have become really strong and we have seen each other outside work a few times since the summer. We have a lovely time together - nothing intimate - just good friends who enjoy each other's company and like similar things. I think we have both been badly hurt in the past so we are just taking our time and although we haven't discussed 'a relationship' there seems to be an unspoken understanding between us that in time something really special might develop. Anyway, last weekend I went to his house for the evening. We had a lovely chat, watched TV side by side on the sofa with a glass of wine and nibbles - all very innocent. He was very much leaning in to me on the sofa and when we talked about a tragedy that happened to him a few years ago, there was a strong connection of compassion and intimacy when we looked in one another's eyes. We were standing in his hallway as I put on my coat to leave and he bent over me and kissed me on the lips. It wasn't passionate - just a simple kiss - but longer than a peck. He then embraced me (and I him) in a long hug.Please would someone tell me if I'm right to hope that this man really cares for me and that given a bit more time we will develop the friendship further? To me a kiss on the lips is a big thing - I would never kiss anyone except a partner or someone I really cared for on the lips. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned though?We're both late 30s/early 40s by the way but it seems how ever old you are, you still need advice! Thank you in anticipation. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 Hi,
You sound very happy :). I'm glad you feel so good about this man and I wish you all the luck and happiness!
Best wishes to you!
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 Hi, Thanks for responding, to us. Good luck to you, and remember, slow and steady as she goes. All good wishes, keep in touch. Happy New Year to you and yours.
...............................
A
female
reader, Fairy Godmother +, writes (3 December 2008):
Fairy Godmother is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for taking the trouble to reply to my question and for your kind and reassuring replies. It's lovely to take things slowly and be friends, and a breath of fresh air to meet a man who wants to take his time really getting to know the real me. I'm glad you both agree with my instinct that he has strong feelings for me and I am happy just to let that grow but your reassurance really helps. Thank you!
...............................
A
female
reader, Oblivia +, writes (3 December 2008):
It sounds to me there are definitely something in between you, kissing on the lips are a very intimate thing to do. If you really like him and would like something more to happen, I would advice you do just as you suggest yourself, give it some more time and see what more happens in between you. If you feel sure you should be safe to even give him some hints on your own.
On the other hand I'm thinking that having a good male friend after having quite recently ended a long relationship can be worth a lot. Are you sure what YOU want out of this friendship regardless of what you think he might be thinking of?
No doubts he cares about you though!
Wish you luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (3 December 2008):
Hi there, If someone kissed me on the lips, and gave me a long hug, I would definitly feel that they liked me, more than a little. In fact that same thing happened to me, a long time ago at a class, we lived in different states so it was not feasible to continue, to a place where the relationship might have been going. But my assessment would be that he wants to be closer to you, but I would go slow. He has affection for you, and the best relationships are built on friendship and trust. Be yourself, let the relationship grow, be a good listener, he wants to be with you. So enjoy, don't give too much, too fast, be as kind as you can to him, he sounds like a gentle soul. You two should get along famously, just take it slow, you will be fine. Sounds like a winning relationship in the process of firming up for you. Be happy. Stay in touch.
...............................
|
