A
male
age
36-40,
*nimephan
writes:hey,It's been a month and a half since my gf and I broke up after 9 months. We were friends before we dated. We're still in contact but it feels like she's pushing me away. Whenever i text her i'll get short, vague replies if she replies. I've invited her to go with me and a friend in advance (not just me and her) to go somewhere and didn't get a reply.I don't have any feelings for her, i just want to keep in contact as friends. She has her head on straight, knows where she's going in life, making an effort towards it, and is responsible. She's the type of people i like to surround myself with. People that are positive influences.I can understand her needing time to heal, but ignoring people is rude. Let me know if you need more space. Why does she push me away like she doesn't want to keep in contact?
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female
reader, MidtownToDowntown  +, writes (13 August 2008):
She's not pushing you away, or not intentionally anyway. We woman do mad things that baffle males but make perfect sense in our heads.
You were together for nine months so there's going to be a lot of memories there for her and to see you and hang out with you after breaking up (even though it's been weeks) is going to be hard for her. She's going to find it hard to focus on just being friends, knowing that there are now limits as to how far she can go. Hell, she'll probably even be a little nostaligic which after a little while will just hurt her.
Give her a little space and in a couple of weeks try talking to her again. She just needs a little more time to adjust to being just friends again.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (13 August 2008):
 She's moving on. You're not an item anymore, so you cant expect the essay txt us women tend to send to our partners quite soon after we receive one. Everyone else friends wise, gets one line answers when we have a spare 5 mins. You have split now, unfortunately for you, this puts you in the friend catagory if you are lucky this soon! And you have to accept that and move on too.
C xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): I know these things can be very confusing at times, but I don't think you must waste to much time thinking about it. There could be another possibility that you have not mentioned. Maybe she is involved with somebody else and does not want to hurt you by telling you.
I suggest you stop contacting her and see what happens;
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
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A
female
reader, Fairy Godmother +, writes (13 August 2008):
 It sounds to me as if your girlfriend is struggling with your changing relationship; from friends to girlfriend/boyfriend and then back to friends again. Remember, it has only been a relatively short time since you ended the girlfriend/boyfriend phase of your relationship.
You seem very clear about what you want and able to make this transition but I suspect she is finding it more difficult, hence it is easier for her to sever all ties, at least for the time being. I think this is what she is doing when she fails to respond to your messages. I don't believe she intends to be rude, rather protect herself from hurt.
I don't normally advocate writing letters, since I think talking face-to-face is almost always better. However, it seems unlikely she would agree to a meeting. Could you not drop her a friendly note to say how much you value her friendship and that you hope, in time, it can be renewed?
Good luck to you and I hope everything works out.
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