A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Myself and my ex have gotten bACK TOGETHER NOW AND THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER A YEAR. WE SPLIT UP DUE TO him being in a funny place but i know he loves me. he told me recently that he doesnt want to see me as he knows he wouldnt be able to stay away and that wouldnt be right. I have tried desperately to get over him but we work together and i cant get over him whilst i see him all the time. i cant be with anyone else either because i love him and that wouldnt be fair. should i fight to get him back or leave it? if i leave it, how do i get over some i see everyday whom i know feels the same way?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fairy Godmother  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 I feel you must respect his wishes that he doesn't want to see you, for whatever reason(s). I'm not clear from your question why he's in a funny place or why he loves you but feels it wouldn't be right. However, he obviously has some issues or difficulties with your relationship which mean he feels unable to continue being with you.
Firstly, you must accept that and certainly not fight to get him back. Unfortunately he obviously doesn't feel the same as you do. I'm so sorry.
Moving on would be hard enough for you under normal circumstances but the fact that you see each other every day at work will make it extremely difficult for you. Is there any chance you could take some time off? Just a week or two without seeing him might help initially and set you on the road to recovery. Otherwise you need to interact with him as little as possible (without being rude, since you still have to work with him).
You must keep yourself busy, ask your friends for their support and company, and try and do things that you enjoy so that you are occupied and have less time to dwell on things.
At first it will be very difficult to push him from your mind (and in a way, perhaps you don't want to) but in time, you will overcome this and you must, for your own peace of mind.
Having closure on this relationship means that in time you will be open for new relationships and all the wonderful opportunities they hold for you. That must be worth something?
Be strong, good wishes and love to you.
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