A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:sorry for the lenght but i don't know how to explain it any better....my first love was my first everything. i met him my junior year in high school. i had never really had a boyfriend before because most guys were afraid of my parents but not him. i loved everything about him and his confidence was addictive. (not to mentioned he was gorgeous) he knew everyone and everyone knew him. all of the girls wanted to be with him and i found it amazing that out of all the girls he could have been with, he wanted to be with me. i never understood our relationship. we were together for a couple of months and next thing i know he is with someone else and telling me he doesn't want to be with me and he never wanted to be with me. months later he calls back and apologizes and i accept because i feel so lucky to be with him. this cycle continued for 4 years. over those years he has never done anything for me and i still wanted to be with him. He used me, cheated on me, lied to me, humiliated me. my self esteem is so low that i don't even go out anymore. i stay locked up in my room afraid to go out because i am afraid of rejection i know that this relationship is not worth saving, but how do i get over it when the only person i want to be with is him? and the only guy i want to touch me is him? what am i going to do when i feel like no one else will ever be better than him. i feel so stupid for feeling this way.
View related questions:
cheated on me, confidence, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): By searching for Mr. Right.
Duh.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, Fairy Godmother  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 He is just that: "Mr Wrong". My darling, you deserve so much better and you should never allow anyone to treat you this way.
It's not surprising your self-esteem is so low. I suspect it wasn't that great before you first got together with him and now, 4 years later, it is destroyed. Why would you want to be with someone who has never done anything for you? Don't ever think you don't deserve to be treated with anything less than kindness and respect.
You are young and should be out having the time of your life, not stuck inside feeling so dreadful.
Get in touch with your girlfriends again, ask for their support and get out of the house. Start doing the things that you enjoy again, and bring some happiness and joy back into your life. You are absolutely worth it, so for once and for ever, stop worrying about Mr Wrong and start thinking of yourself.
Lots of love, x
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (11 August 2008):
Awww :( Well I think a lot of women have felt this way at one time or another. I know exactly how you feel. I know usually the cure is to go out and meet new people, but I've felt that I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, nor did I care to meet some new guy that knew I would have no interest in at the moment. Sometimes you really do have to take a time out and just focus on yourself. Do not call him! I repeat, do not call him and do not talk to him if he calls you! To get over someone, you need to cut off all contact. The first few weeks are the hardest, but trust me, after that you will start to feel much better. You'll want to call him or just "see how he's doing" but don't do it. It will just prolong things and make it harder to get over him or you two will just fall back into the same viscious cycle as before. Get involved in things you like to do, just to keep yourself busy. Read, crafts, work out, volunteer, school work...just do something that you like to do that you feel like you haven't gotten around to doing before or just what you enjoy doing.
It's tough, but you will get over him. Write down your feelings and all the horrible emotions and thoughts you had while you were being mistreated by him. Don't give it to him or anything like that. But it can help by just being a reminder of why you SHOULD NOT be with this guy. You don't deserve to be cheated on, lied to, and made to feel worthless.
...............................
|
