A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am a 28yo Male who has been in a relationship for almost a year with my girlfriend also 28. we have lived together for 6 months. My problem is I am so miserable becasue i feel totally unappreciated I work 9 - 10 hour days and study at night, do all the cooking because ( she can't cook even though i knwo she can ) I do more than my share of other household chores. I still do the flowers unexpected dinners, gifts etc.. still make sure I pick her up from the train station after work that kind of stuff. But when I think about she doesn't. She hasn't gone out of her way to do anything for a long time, even after expressing my feelings a few day's ago, not even a token effort like cooking dinner or something. her response is usually what do you want me to do about it ? i feel I shouldn't have to tell her if she was listening. i guess i just want a suprise one night anything dinner and a bottle of wine a gift a thought a card i don't know. Am I being silly ?
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male
reader, Escalaya  +, writes (20 September 2007):
 Not silly at all, my friend. You've every right to feel that way. Stop doing those things for her; attend to her needs a little less. stop the surprises, and gifts. When she complains about it; simply say. "I'm sorry. You never seemed to really care when I did those things; i figured you'd not notice that I stopped."I did that to my girlfriend, and she makes damn sure to make me feel appreciated.Best of luck, take care bro.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): You sound like alot of women who are in your exact postion! Most women would appreciate you for helping out so it's just your wife I'm afraid. Does she actually help out with the HW? does she work? you haven't given enough information. My dad works 9 hours like you and does the cooking every night, he also helps my mum with HW. But my mum works and does HW too, so if she does do her fair share then why are you moaning?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): i dont think you are being silly. talk with her. one of the sexist things a spouse can do for the other is the dishes. hope this helps.drew
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