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... Send *mad khan a private message | | | *mad khan's profile:Well, you know me as Emad Khan....and er...well so does everyone else really..
I'm 31 and an Orchestral Musician currently working in Spain. I dig Radiohead,
Brad Mehldau, and Brahms...
Recently I went through a really painfull break-up...but the good news is that, now, I have this great insight into relationships and people and stuff...so Its kinda cool just
helping out my fellow humans.. Life is difficult, we have to stick together, yeah?
Well, thats me. |
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What can I do about my grandma showing up at our house all the time?
Q. I'm living with my father, because of my parents recent divorce (I'm ok with it, I could see it coming for a loooong time). My dad and I were alone, we needed to learn how to do the stuff my mom usually did - making soup, for example. So we k...
A. 12 February 2013: be happy to have your grandma there! I miss my grandma....I could never tell her how much I loved her, before she died....
I'm telling her now! Love you Grandma!!!!!
Give her a kiss everyday, and know, one day she will not be there, and you;l... (read in full...)
My live in g/f doesn't feel comfortable with children but my 2 have moved in with us. How can I help her?
Q. So I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for over three years, now. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. She’s so generous, kind, thoughtful and is always putting everyone else’s needs ahead of her own. She supported me for a year while I was ...
A. 12 June 2011: I second the above!!! must have regular alone time with the lady, keep up the romance!... (read in full...)
Are there any Sagitarius women in long-term relationships?
Q. I'm with a Sagittarius woman, and was wondering if there are any Sag who've been in long-term relationships/ marriages/ or are currently married. Unfortunately my theory is that there are very few of you folk in commited relationships, but for ...
A. 10 September 2008: thanks all!!! very kind of you to give me your responses!... (read in full...)
I'm feeling insecure about my performance in bed with this new woman!
Q. My situation is this. I am 30 and have been in a long distance (5000 miles) relationship with a woman about same age as myself for the last 6 months or so. We are very much in love and have been since the first date. Over the last couple of weeks...
A. 9 July 2008: hey! Check out Margot Anands line of books. This will Blow her away!!! Especially Orgasmic Exctasy.... Don´t get all freaked out- though i totally understand where you´re coming from. unfortunately insecurity is not very sexy... really get ... (read in full...)
Am I a one-night-stand for her?? Oh, I wish I didn't have sex with her that quickly!
Q. hey people! Here's my issue. I met this girl on an on-line dating site here in Spain. We had one date- and things got along fairly well. She seemed really intelligent (teaches at university) and not at all boring to talk to. I had some...
A. 15 April 2008: thanks for your input people! An update: it seems we'll see eachother again.
I don't believe she's a reliable long term partner (of course I could be wrong),
But shes cool to hang out with, and of course- the intimacy aspect. I'm thinking... (read in full...)
I sent her a note asking her out and leaving my phone number - now I'm anxious about her answer! What now?
Q. men aren't good at reading "signs", and I'm no exception. There is this girl in the sandwich shop next to my apartment. When I go in there she smiles, and seems really shy. I tried speaking to her, but she doesn't come out from the back area ...
A. 28 March 2008: Hey friends! She just wrote me back, and told me that "its not a lack of interest but time that she couldn't respond right away...but then she put off the meeting for 2 weeks- saying she's really busy. Not sure what to do with that. I mean, how ... (read in full...)
I sent her a note asking her out and leaving my phone number - now I'm anxious about her answer! What now?
Q. men aren't good at reading "signs", and I'm no exception. There is this girl in the sandwich shop next to my apartment. When I go in there she smiles, and seems really shy. I tried speaking to her, but she doesn't come out from the back area ...
A. 26 March 2008: Well, I haven't heard from her, and its been about 4 days. You see (and guys I'm sure you have this problem too) we men think a smile, or saying hi, is some kind of "sign". Well, now, when I feel like a sandwich, theres no way I can go back to ... (read in full...)
I moved to Spain to win back my ex...but she is in love with another man. Any advice??
Q. Hey Friends!!! My problem is pretty basic really. I'm American, currently living/working in Spain. I came here, originally, to try and "win" back my X. Didn't work, and she's in love and happy with another guy. I suppose, I'm mostly over it, ...
A. 17 March 2008: Hi!
as I write this I'm in the process of taking auditions in other parts of the world, including home, in the states. With a good amount of luck something will turn up. Meanwhile, I realize I have to move on- Hopefully I'll work up the g... (read in full...)
I moved to Spain to win back my ex...but she is in love with another man. Any advice??
Q. Hey Friends!!! My problem is pretty basic really. I'm American, currently living/working in Spain. I came here, originally, to try and "win" back my X. Didn't work, and she's in love and happy with another guy. I suppose, I'm mostly over it, ...
A. 17 March 2008: Thanks!! I go through these ups and downs. some days I'm feeling great, then all of a sudden I'm attacked by these feelings from the past. But despite my seeming pessemism, I'm actually making it through. It helps to have people like your... (read in full...)
My wife is beautiful and we have kids but I can't stop thinking about the women at work.
Q. I'm a married man with a beautiful wife, a gorgeous 3 year old son and a baby on the way, I've got a great job and a lovely house, but I'm desperately in love with a woman at work. We've always been very friendly and flirty, and after 5 years I ...
A. 6 March 2008: the problem is your an obsessive romantic. Things are fine with your wife, probably, but they don't offer you the romantic zest, which gives your life meaning. Ultimately, what could happen here, is you lose your wife, and then the tables get ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my long distance love might be on the rebound. If he doesn't love me now, will he ever?..
Q. Hi there, I hope to get some good advice/opinions. I have been seeing a man for 8 months, spending weekends together and having a fantastic time. We have a holiday booked together in the summer with my children and he is very relaxed and happ...
A. 6 March 2008: take things slowly. space is important, and developing a strong friendship. I can tell you from my own experience, after having my heart broken- i have not been able to get near anyone. I was briefly with a woman for 2 months, but I broke her hear... (read in full...)
Turned on secretly seeing wife with another man
Q. i saw my wife having sex with another man. they didn't see me and i watched until they finished. i didn't get angry, i got turned on. i want to tell my wife, but will she be disgusted with me? i really wanted to join in when i was watching, ...
A. 27 January 2008: Seems to me, that if you don't act, your marriage is not going to last.
I'll be quite surprised if it does. there are some issues here. would you be this turned on if you learnt that she was in love with this man, and prepared to leave you for ... (read in full...)
Death is inevitable, but ...
Q. I think i am depressed. Or maybe i am just feeling sorry for myself. Only i don't know what to do. I haven't had a good few years. I know death is all part of life, they always say you are born to die, but the past few years have been ridiculous....
A. 26 January 2008: I really sorry for your loss. I understand your feelings... it's like ,"does this get any better?". But the thing is, that life will not improve unless we act. We have to make life better, because it's not going to change by itself. Another ... (read in full...)
Should I dump him and start over or just accept this as I'm not getting any younger?
Q. Hey, my relationship with my bf is not going the way I wanted things, but I am afraid to start again with another person and to start from "0" again. At the same time, I feel like I don't have much time left in terms of forming a family. I am 30 ...
A. 22 January 2008: It seems to me that somehow youre missing a major point here. you have this list of things "to by accomplished by such and such a time". I think you need to look really profoundly and whats going on here. I'm not trying to make you angry here... ... (read in full...)
Lost after mothers Death and Wife leaving me for some other guy
Q. Hi There, On Thursday my wife who i married only in april of last year told me it is over, we had been together for five and a half years. She started this process back in november by saying that she just wasnt happy in the relationship and...
A. 21 January 2008: Hey I'm truly moved by your pain, and I understand, somewhat of where youre coming from. I agree with waterloo sunset. The most difficult thing to do is not contact your X. You are going to have to cut the communcation her... (read in full...)
Girlfriend blows hot then cold! Why?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have just broken up becuase we weren't talking much to each other. I was trying to talk to her but other times she just left before I had the chance to. Her friends says she liked me for a while but it doesn't seem like it ...
A. 21 January 2008: I agree with the other response. There are certain individuals who just don't know what they want. One day they feel one way, the next completely different.
Probably, if you back off from this person, they'll come back to you...of course
they ... (read in full...)
How can I get to accept that there's no future in this?
Q. OMG I am a mess. I have know this lovely woman for several months but both she and I are in long term relationships of our own. My problem is I Can't get her out of my head and see her several times a week. She has said no to a relationship bey...
A. 18 January 2008: when you see this for what it is: When we have these romantic obsessions with people, its not because these people in question, are wonderfull or extraordinary, its because they somehow fullfill some longing within ourselves. We have developed an ... (read in full...)
The trauma of losing her is really affecting my life, my work.. How can I know whether she is telling me the truth?
Q. I met a girl i had known sometime back after a long time of missing link. some how we got to know each other better and remained friends for about a month. Everything that went on between us clearly told me we were in love so i decided to propose ...
A. 18 January 2008: If someone says they don't love you, don't try to read between the lines. I know
its difficult, but I think the best thing for you to do, is say good -by. No amount of logic, or discussion is going to make her change her mind...you simply have... (read in full...)
Shoud I just try to forget him or will he realise what he lost?
Q. im 38 he's 36. met last april. he has a 3 year old son that i got on with brilliantly. the childs mother is the problem and caused lots of trouble as she doesn't want him to move on. it all got too much after 6 months and he bailed out. i was ...
A. 17 January 2008: Its impossible to have any good relationship when there is game playing going on. Its sounds to me that you both are playing head games with eachother. If you ever want to have a functional relationship with someone, honest, positive communication ... (read in full...)
Should I contact an old gf, after 15 years?
Q. I've started thinking a lot recently about an ex-girlfriend. The relationship ended 15 years ago and was a brief but very intense thing (i'm 44 now). I'm now considering contacting her (how are you, how's life going, nice kids etc etc), but am not ...
A. 17 January 2008: Sometimes I'm tempted to do the same... and I have actually... As long as theres no expectation involved, there is nothing wrong with the idea. Catch up with eachother. Its a fine idea. But I wouldn't have the intention of rekindeling an old ... (read in full...)
I'm going mad! I love this other woman and I love my wife...help me!
Q. Help Im going crazy Im a 47 year old married man with 4 kids. About 6 months ago I meet a lady shes 35 years old 3 kids I meet her at work her husband had just walked out on her and I was concerned about her there was nothing sexual about it I was ...
A. 15 January 2008: This is a difficult situation, but I believe for the sake of your children you need to put an end to this affair. I know its difficult, because, from the sound of it, you've really developed a love bond with this woman. Which is going to make it ... (read in full...)
How do you go from having a great relationship to backing off??
Q. So to make this question short enough that people won't stop reading, I'll start like this. I've met this wonderful girl who I'm falling in love with. We have a great deal in common and find that everyday, we find something new in common. Heck, ou...
A. 13 January 2008: Sounds like youre in a great situation...but take it slowly. Don't rush into things.The truth is, that you don't REALLY know this person yet. During this first year you should probably just enjoy things: See the world, travel, have a great time, ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my teacher when she is starting a new family?
Q. My life is crazy right now. I was really close to my teacher just for a short while. NOT SEXUAL! We just kissed few times and we spent loadsa time together and now its over...well since before last august. Even though it's over I have never ever sto...
A. 13 January 2008: I'm going to give it ya straight man! Basically, you're a kid, she's a woman. She knows that she can't have a future with you. Youre between 13-15, she's at least in her twenties, which means she's at the stage where she wants kids. She can't ... (read in full...)
The thought of making love to my husband repulses me. Should I end the marriage?
Q. I have been married to the "perfect" man for 15 years. We do not have children together (he has had a vasectomy) but he has children from his first marriage although they are now grown up. I have a job that I love (fitness instructor) but does not ...
A. 12 January 2008: I have a theory about love, that many of my friends and co-workers, just TOTALLY disagree with. Here it goes: I think love/ attraction, is essentially a choice. Its very subtle, and takes place within, say, a nano second. I don't know the history ... (read in full...)
My husband is a lovely man but we have become... companions. Facing a new start at this age is frightening, what alternatives do I have, you think?
Q. Am in the middle of a divorce have been married for thirty years to a lovely man. However we have been just friends best mates now for apprx 5 years. I cant imagine what life will be like without him but also know if we dont end this now I will ...
A. 11 January 2008: I believe you have alot of suppressed anger towards your husband. This anger has accumulated and as a result, though you love him, you don't feel "in-love"anymore.
What is needed here is clear communication- talk to your husband openly.
Let h... (read in full...)
How does a man feel if a woman he's with for the first time tells him of her desire and that she wants to be satisfied without delay? Should I feel so embarassed?
Q. I am feeling a bit embarrassed about something I did last night and would really like to know the opinions of some of you wise strangers. I have been dating a man for about 3 months now. I had told him up front that I did not want to rush into a ...
A. 11 January 2008:
i think you fullfilled his deepest desire right there. If I'm not mistaken, he'll call you soon, maybe before you read this! If you've been together 3 months, and feel secure enough to be that candid with him about your desires...I think thin... (read in full...)
Do you think it's ok for me to let my wife have another guy as her best friend??
Q. I'm 32 and my wife is 28. My wife and a good friend of mine (male friend) are good friends. I think it would be safe to say that they are best friends (which is totally okay by me). My friends say I'm crazy to "be okay" with this. I disagree, ...
A. 10 January 2008: You're a pretty open guy, and thats cool...however, in all honesty, it is dangerous. the situation is delicate. You absolutely need to avoid being jealous, and basically trust your wife, and best friend. Ultimately, if things are going well in ... (read in full...)
I feel so alone, dumped and kicked out, how can I be strong?
Q. I just feel so alone right now. My 1 year relationship has broken down after seemingly over night, my boyfriend dumped me, and kicked me out. I'm in the middle of a career change and in September will be studying again, so you can understa...
A. 9 January 2008: Its difficult when something like this happens. Basically, you have to occupy yourself with your life. In truth, I don't recommend getting back into a relationship with your x, should the opportunity arise- and it may, and you may be tempted to be ... (read in full...)
I cant figure him out, I'm getting mixed messages, is it worth it?
Q. First, I apologize for the length of this, I've never written anything like this before and felt knowing the details would help understand why i need advise - thanks in advance! I'm a 48 yr old woman who had stopped dating for several years - raised...
A. 9 January 2008: It seems that you guys are both somehow wounded, possibly from your pasts.
There seems to be so much fear, that clear communication is impossible.
Its obvious that you both like eachother quite a bit, and yet, this feeling is blocked by somethin... (read in full...)
What are men looking for when they go to strip clubs?
Q. I am a stripper, and I need to know what turns on men, and what they are looking for looks-wise, and experience-wise when they visit a strip club. Thanks....
A. 9 January 2008: Well, i can tell you that they're probably not looking for intellect, or spirtuality, although that would make an interesting stripper.. probably just being naked
will work just fine for the majority of guys.
G... (read in full...)
My bf has a fetish with bestiality. Is this normal?
Q. I recently discovered my boyfriend of 2 months has a huge fetish with beastiality. Is this normal?! Personally, it grosses me out.....
A. 9 January 2008: do you think its normal? No its not normal. Your boyfriend has some issues.
He's most likely not going to change. You may have to leave him, and hope for his sake that he'll meet someone thats more into the whole, animal thing...
chanc... (read in full...)
I can't get over the thought of her having sex with this other guy. How can I get it out of my head?
Q. Hello, I really need some help. It all started 2 years ago when the love of my life walked into my house. I fell in love and we got together. My life was great for about 2 months until she started acting different. And she ended up breaking up w...
A. 8 January 2008:
I can sort of relate to your story. But the difference is, she's with you! Thats a good thing. Don't let this anger destroy your relationship. Ultimately these feelings will just drive her away. You have to forgive the past, and move on to t... (read in full...)
My wife is having an affair, what do I do?
Q. My wife and I have been married nearly 20 years. In the past month I suspected something going on and started checking her company cell phone for text messages. There is one person whom she works with who was sending her messages on how much he ...
A. 7 January 2008: Hi
I had a similar situation with a girl that I was in love with for 4 years. Obviously your situation is more..difficult, but I believe its salvagable. There is hope.
Basically, it seems that she has found something th... (read in full...)
I want to emigrate but it will upset my parents. How do I overcome this hurdle?
Q. Hi - hope you can help. I'm 31 and am so worried as I want to emigrate to Australia this year (asap) and have done lots of research and made plans but I have not told my family. I have hinted how nice it would be to live there after I visited the ...
A. 7 January 2008: Hey, I'm 31
American, and currently live in Spain. Its difficult for my family, though I see them whenever I have at least 2 weeks vacation. the thing is...your 31!!!
an adult. You have to act fearlessly and live your life. Of co... (read in full...)
I want to emigrate but it will upset my parents. How do I overcome this hurdle?
Q. Hi - hope you can help. I'm 31 and am so worried as I want to emigrate to Australia this year (asap) and have done lots of research and made plans but I have not told my family. I have hinted how nice it would be to live there after I visited the ...
A. 7 January 2008: Hey, I'm 31
American, and currently live in Spain. Its difficult for my family, though I see them whenever I have at least 2 weeks vacation. the thing is...your 31!!!
an adult. You have to act fearlessly and live your life. Of co... (read in full...)
I'm a faithful wife and mother, but there's this guy at work I cant get out of my head, advice please
Q. I can’t discuss this with my family, girlfriends or husband. Maybe someone out there can help to enlighten me. I am a happily married woman with kids. I’ve been married almost twenty years, to a wonderful man, that I love very much. He i...
A. 7 January 2008: I've seen this VERY situation before with a good friend of mine who is 46 years old. His wife around the same age fell deeply in love with a guy around 30.It didn't happen over night, it took time. The thing was, they had a family of 4 children, ... (read in full...)
How do I get over a 3 year relationship? I'd drop everything to be with her.
Q. This may be a little long, but please take the time to read I could really do with some advice. I met my ex at school when we were 16. She was absolutely GORGEOUS, everyone at school knew of her and stared at her. I had a couple of classes with ...
A. 6 January 2008: Hey I understand what youre going through. I´m just getting over it myself, and its been 2 years. Basically it will take time, but you can be sure that the next relationship will be more successfull, if you take what you´ve learnt th... (read in full...)
Stay together and live a lie or walk away?
Q. Here is my dilemma. Last summer I got engaged, however, we live 50 miles from one another. He comes up to me on his days off. However, for the past six months I have doubting whether this is what I really want. So much so that I have slipped up a ...
A. 5 January 2008: you must leave him, however, perhaps it would be best to avoid telling about the affaire. That would just leave him insecure and work against his self confidence.
It would basically hurt him more, and it would take a lot more time for him to get ... (read in full...)
We split 6 years ago. Should I contact her? Should I seek professional guidance?
Q. I have not been in a relationship in 6 years. I have been stuck on the "love of my life" who ended it 6 years ago with me. I never got closure from her and it has bothered me all this time. I moved far away from her. I did find out she just got ...
A. 4 January 2008: Hi
I saw your question, and felt compelled to tell you this: You absolutely have to move on! The same thing happened to me, and its taken me nearly 2 years to get over it. Now shes happy, and living with another guy. Its difficul... (read in full...)
We split 6 years ago. Should I contact her? Should I seek professional guidance?
Q. I have not been in a relationship in 6 years. I have been stuck on the "love of my life" who ended it 6 years ago with me. I never got closure from her and it has bothered me all this time. I moved far away from her. I did find out she just got ...
A. 4 January 2008: Hi
I saw your question, and felt compelled to tell you this: You absolutely have to move on! The same thing happened to me, and its taken me nearly 2 years to get over it. Now shes happy, and living with another guy. Its difficul... (read in full...)
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