A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I really need some help. It all started 2 years ago when the love of my life walked into my house. I fell in love and we got together. My life was great for about 2 months until she started acting different. And she ended up breaking up with me.(we had sex one time. my first time. but I sucked really bad because I didn't know what I was doing).We went our separate ways and My life became a mess (but I still wanted her back). She hooked up with this guy and they were together for about 6-9 months (I'm not sure). She did everything with him... everything. They even had sex outside in the grass while it was raining. She then got pregnant but had a miscarriage. The guy ended up being a complete jerk towards her and she started talking to me again about 1 year ago. She told me everything, and that she loved him so much. And I was dying deep inside (But I didn't give up on my love towards her). We started talking more and more and on March 2nd of 2007 I asked her to be mine again. She said yes and 10 days later she broke up with me again. Because she was still thinking of him. I almost gave up but I never did. Time passed by and she moved to another state for a while. We became good friends and we started taking everything steb by step. Everything was so amazing and I asked her to be my girl again on august 5th 2007. And we are still together to this day (5 months). I have never been this happy. I even proposed and she said yes. She loves me more than ever. And we want to make a family someday. I know we won't break up anymore because we have been through so much and she has realized that my love for her will never be matched by any other guy out there. And the love she feels for me grows and grows more and more every day. (we are sexually active and I am extremly better now).We couldn't be happier. She wants to be a mommy soon. My problem is that I can't get over the fact that my girl had sex with this guy LOTS of times. I can't sleep at nights. Everytime I read or hear that guys name I feel so much rage and anger inside of me. I don't know what to do. I have tried to forget. But it is useless. I know she is with me. I know she loves me. But it breaks my heart to know that the love of my life was in bed with someone else countless of times. And I know that even though she doesn't love him. And even though she is with me. She will never forget him. And that breaks me apart.I apologize for the long story. I really tried my best to explain my situation without saying bad words. But I need help....Please.
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female
reader, EllenMF  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 you love her... and she obviously makes you happy... so why don't you tell her - i know its hard to talk about certain subjects sometimes. but thats what makes you even more special. talk to her and she will tell you how she feels about you and there and then you'll have to forget about it, because this man is not in her life and will not be anymore, so leave him in the past where he belongs, and start looking at the present and this baby you want
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (9 January 2008):
Man i always wonder why da good guys are da ones treated bad by girls.I think most women have a phobia to true love.In most cases,including mine,you always find that when you really,really love a lady she'll more than likely either cheat on you or just leave you.Both have happened to me though i managed to win my lady back.Are you sure she loves you? Just because she says it doesn't really mean that's what is in her heart.What would you do if she broke up with you again?She's learning to love you and there are always mistakes when learning but as for you it's evident that you love her naturally.I also can't get images of my girl in bed with another man.A consolation is that she didn't cheat on you but it happened when you had broken up.You really need to stop thinking about her ex.You'll end up becoming insecure and force your girl into the arms of her ex.Enjoy your relationship and move on although it's been hard for me.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 Any girl you date, live with, or marry will have a sexual history - you are punishing her for your lack of experience.
Just get over it or alternatively let it eat away at you until the moment your partner realises she cant take this anymore and leaves.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Welcome to the rest of your life. It never goes away.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 Yes she is with you, and that's her past, which is where it should stay.
If you dont stop this, you will ruin things between you.
So what if she had sex with him on the moon, she is still your love now. Dont you think that when she remembers the times she had with the ex who treated her so bad, she would probably rather foget.
Its you she wants and has a future with, not him. So dont let it come between you both or you will lose her again.
XX
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A
male
reader, emad khan  +, writes (8 January 2008):
I can sort of relate to your story. But the difference is, she's with you! Thats a good thing. Don't let this anger destroy your relationship. Ultimately these feelings will just drive her away. You have to forgive the past, and move on to the future. Learn to become a great lover! Making love is an art. Read on about Tantra...its interesting. But I'm going off on a tangent here...sorry:
You have to identify what the problem is, then come to terms with it.
Is it an insecurity thing, for example, do you fear he was a better lover than you? Is it a territorial thing, because if thats the case, you have to come to terms with the fact that though we may be a member of the animal kingdom, we are in fact far more evolved than your average jungle animal.
Once you identify the issue, come to terms with it. Lay it to rest- and then just ENJOY being with the love of your life. You potentially have it made here,don't screw it up with jealousy...go above that...youre a spiritual being
so act like one...
The fact is, that in the real world, most people come with a certain amount of baggage. I can tell you I've been a goodly number of relationships that have eventually come to naught. The point being: The more mature
we become, the more likely it is that our partners have been with other people and have had lots of sex. Thats just a given. In some religions and
cultures, thats kind of a no no, but in general, sex is one of the ways lovers connect. I have to say the way you refer to your partner, seems a little possessive, and thats definately something to think about, because that
can really drive people away!!! Beware.
Just lighten up. If she's with you, the best way to ensure that she stays,
is by relaxing, and enjoying life.
good luck
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