A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have not been in a relationship in 6 years. I have been stuck on the "love of my life" who ended it 6 years ago with me. I never got closure from her and it has bothered me all this time. I moved far away from her. I did find out she just got remarried. This helps but I still have the urge to contact her all this time. Should I give it some time and try to let it go or is it selfish of me and contact her even though she is married???I have not gotten close to anyone since her. I don't know if it was her or its me. Should I seek professional guidance? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (5 January 2008):
 You are going through a very difficult time and I am sorry for this. You should not contact your ex for closure. Closure is over-rated anyway. She won't be honest if it was something about you because no-one likes to hurt people. Most likely she'll just tell you some such stuff as "bad timing or we just didn't click". I've learned that it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things anyway because each relationship is different so you and this ex may not have worked but you and someone else might set the world on fire. It's a combination of the right two people at the right time. If you are still having trouble dealing with this then I really think seeking professional help may be good for you. I'd hate to see you spend another 6 years wondering when you really should be healing. Take Care.
A
male
reader, emad khan  +, writes (4 January 2008):
 Hi
I saw your question, and felt compelled to tell you this: You absolutely have to move on! The same thing happened to me, and its taken me nearly 2 years to get over it. Now shes happy, and living with another guy. Its difficult.
Very difficult. But I know if I don't move on I'll waist more of my life on a love that has completely moved on without giving "us" anymore thought.
You have to realize its over. She doesn't love you anymore, she loves somebody else. If shes nice to you, maybe its because shes just a nice person. But you have to be thinking on a new level. Its difficult man, I feel ya. You have to let go of all the memories, get rid of the pictures, basically STOP lving the past.
This is a time for spiritual growth. Think of it this way: your next relationship will be better! And you'll make it work. Bust most importantly, learn to start diggin life again...
Sorry to be harsh with you...but I know where you are...its hard to be there..
I've been there myself for 2 years, and I can tell you even thats too much!
Take care of yourself, and know that even if she couldn't love you the way you deserve, someone else will. Someone who deserves to be with you.
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A
male
reader, emad khan +, writes (4 January 2008):
Hi
I saw your question, and felt compelled to tell you this: You absolutely have to move on! The same thing happened to me, and its taken me nearly 2 years to get over it. Now shes happy, and living with another guy. Its difficult.
Very difficult. But I know if I don't move on I'll waist more of my life on a love that has completely moved on without giving "us" anymore thought.
You have to realize its over. She doesn't love you anymore, she loves somebody else. If shes nice to you, maybe its because shes just a nice person. But you have to be thinking on a new level. Its difficult man, I feel ya. You have to let go of all the memories, get rid of the pictures, basically STOP lving the past.
This is a time for spiritual growth. Think of it this way: your next relationship will be better! And you'll make it work. Bust most importantly, learn to start diggin life again...
Sorry to be harsh with you...but I know where you are...its hard to be there..
I've been there myself for 2 years, and I can tell you even thats too much!
Take care of yourself, and know that even if she couldn't love you the way you deserve, someone else will. Someone who deserves to be with you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Its a tough one that only you can really answer, I would say if she has moved on (which if she has married someone means she probably has) I'd think of it as a chapter in your life that has been and gone and the fact that it's gone is for a reason. You will move on in your own time but try and channel your mind to that way of thinking. I know it's hard but I hope this helps.
Ben.
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