A
male
age
41-50,
*mad khan
writes:men aren't good at reading "signs", and I'm no exception. There is this girl in the sandwich shop next to my apartment. When I go in there she smiles, and seems really shy. I tried speaking to her, but she doesn't come out from the back area when I'm there. She'll wave sometimes or say hello- So I finally gave up on trying to speak to her directly and wrote this note in poor Spanish- thats her language: Hi, would you like to have a coffee with me one day- then i put 2 boxes- one with a yes the other- no. I left my phone and e-mail address. with a P.S: really liked todays sandwich- the York ham, without the ham. Now...I'm afraid I wont hear from her. Maybe I mis- read her signs- though, in all honesty, people here don't really show signs of being nice..unless it means something...and yet I'm afraid I was too direct or something. Well...this was only yesterday...but If I don't hear back from her, should I just give up, or keep at it. I've really never done anything like this before. Its like the kind of thing I would daydream about doing and then chuckle inwardly about- but never actually put into action. So I guess the question is: What now?
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female
reader, tsurugi-ijin  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 That's fantastic! Well now at least you have time to prepare :) if your first meeting is coffee thats a great, gives you a chance to chat. Also if it goes well you can always order more coffee :)Hope it goes well! update with what happens All the best, JinP.s. At least you can stop avoiding the sandwich shop now
A
male
reader, emad khan +, writes (28 March 2008):
emad khan is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey friends! She just wrote me back, and told me that "its not a lack of interest but time that she couldn't respond right away...but then she put off the meeting for 2 weeks- saying she's really busy. Not sure what to do with that. I mean, how long does having a coffee actually take? Thanks for your input all!!! Uncle Phil, and Jin!!! Thanks!!!!
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A
female
reader, tsurugi-ijin +, writes (27 March 2008):
:) you have to go back there sometime, just go and be normal. Maybe you two can be good friends.
Good luck with it all
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Never mind mate - let's all go to McDonalds instead and have a big Mac with regular fries and a diet coke! (and hold the gherkins)
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A
male
reader, emad khan +, writes (26 March 2008):
emad khan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I haven't heard from her, and its been about 4 days. You see (and guys I'm sure you have this problem too) we men think a smile, or saying hi, is some kind of "sign". Well, now, when I feel like a sandwich, theres no way I can go back to where she works- its totally embarrassing.
So I should probably call it quits then, eh? I'm really dissappointed. Oh well...
Thanks for any input! EK.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): As 'Uncle Phil' says, you've just got to hope for the best. You've done all you can (which was a lovely idea by the way, good thinking :]) so now you've just got to hope she's interested. I don't see a reason why she wouldn't ring you, I mean, what harm can it do? Good luck honey.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): congratulations on making the first step. you did what you could, the note is excellent, aproach was nice- so now the ball is in her field. dont worry about it, if she is interested, she'll reply, if she is seeing someone, she wont, but will be very complimented by your action.
from my own experience, only way you could have lost in this, is if you havent written the card. 'what if' regrets are the worst of them all.
good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): congratulations on making the first step. you did what you could, the note is excellent, aproach was nice- so now the ball is in her field. dont worry about it, if she is interested, she'll reply, if she is seeing someone, she wont, but will be very complimented by your action.from my own experience, only way you could have lost in this, is if you havent written the card. 'what if' regrets are the worst of them all.good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): I suppose you'll just have to wait and see if you get a response. Make sure she knows it's you who sent the note.
This reminds me of when I was a bit younger. Me and a few mates had some business cards professionally printed up that said "I would like to make love to you tonight. If the answer is yes, please keep this card, but if the answer is no could you please hand it back as I'm getting short of cards" The initial outlay wasn't a total waste of money!
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A
female
reader, tsurugi-ijin +, writes (23 March 2008):
All you can do is wait, Keep going to the shop like you usually do and act calm.
If she likes you, which it sounds she does, then shes probably a bit flustered and trying to decide for herself.
You said "Poor Spanish" Does this mean you dont talk it?
Does she not talk english? this could cause implications.
It seams like a really sweet thing to do and she might not want to anser right away as it might seam to eager, give it a couple of days.
All the best, Jin
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