A
male
age
41-50,
*mad khan
writes:Hey Friends!!!My problem is pretty basic really. I'm American, currently living/working in Spain. I came here, originally, to try and "win" back my X. Didn't work, and she's in love and happy with another guy. I suppose, I'm mostly over it, though there are times that I feel this tremendous pain, and lonliness. I miss what I had...especially the sex...that was great. We're both musicians, and she's currently with another musician they won a chamber music competition recently, and for some reason it heightens my jealousy even more. So here I am in Spain, alone, and I don't know how to turn my situation around, and find that special person. I always knew my X and I were not really meant to be- we argued over petty things constantly...and yet I can't help but resent her happiness. I'm not the bar hopping type, I don't smoke. I'm kinda a romantic...so its really hard for me to meet people. I never felt this down before...like, it might just be easier to end it.Please, any advice or words of cheer would be great.Thanks
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jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, emad khan +, writes (17 March 2008):
emad khan is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi!
as I write this I'm in the process of taking auditions in other parts of the world, including home, in the states. With a good amount of luck something will turn up. Meanwhile, I realize I have to move on- Hopefully I'll work up the guts to ask someone out to coffee. Lets see.
Thanks X
emad
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Hey Sweetie,
Must you stay in Spain? Perhaps it'd make you feel better to go home and pursue your music there.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, emad khan +, writes (17 March 2008):
emad khan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks!! I go through these ups and downs. some days I'm feeling great, then all of a sudden I'm attacked by these feelings from the past. But despite my seeming pessemism, I'm actually making it through. It helps to have people like yourselves out-there too, who can lend a hand. So thanks to you all! Emad
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 It is better to have loved and failed than not to love at all.
You tried your best but she was not meant to be yours.
Maybe , it is a blessings in disguise.
Hey! There are so many pretty girls in Spain.
Enjoy and have fun.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Stop trying to find the one. Get friends. Go to social events.
Maybe try the internet, then you could have lots of friends online. There's no smoke on the internet. LOL
And don't "end it."
Maybe see therapy if you are having trouble meeting people and maybe a therapist could help you to become more confident, assertive, and outgoing.
You have my condolensces.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 March 2008):
 You made a big move on a gamble, it didn't work out, I am sorry to hear that. But wow, what courage you have! And how great you get to experience life in another country and see the world from a broader perspective.
If you compose music at all, this might be a really good time to write a musical piece that expresses all the feelings you've gone through.
You will get through this, you know. There is so much in this great huge world of ours to explore and learn and experience! And you get to eat tapas, I am very jealous....
Look at each day you have as a new chance to learn something new, and keep in mind that there are some of us who would like to be living in a fantastic country like Spain...
All the best.
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