A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here is my dilemma. Last summer I got engaged, however, we live 50 miles from one another. He comes up to me on his days off. However, for the past six months I have doubting whether this is what I really want. So much so that I have slipped up a few times and slept with a work colleague. Worse still, I can't get this guy out my head. I know, I don't deserve the ring but I don't want to break his heart by telling him the truth. Either way, I won't be able to marry him without telling him the truth and if he knew, I know he would walk. Can I learn to live with the guilt and lies or should I just walk?
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female
reader, EllenMF  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 its all about happiness... u say you can't get this guy out of your head, but does he make you happy, truly happy?
u definitely should reconsider your engagement because if he doesnt make you happy then you aren't going to be able to grow with him, and you will become a frustrated angry and bitter person later on
A
male
reader, emad khan  +, writes (5 January 2008):
 you must leave him, however, perhaps it would be best to avoid telling about the affaire. That would just leave him insecure and work against his self confidence.
It would basically hurt him more, and it would take a lot more time for him to get over the whole thing. Just say- it aint working out, we have to separate.
If he presses for more info, just keep it that simple. Its over...etc...I dont really want to get married,,,etc.
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A
female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (4 January 2008):
 I think the answer is pretty obvious here. If you have already slept with somebody else then how can you possibly truly love him. Not only that but your having doubts about marrying him anyway. It's not fair to him. Whether or not you tell him is your decision. But you should definitely break it off with him before you hurt him even more. Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Been there and done that myself! I know how you feel and its not very nice. I broke my fiance's heart by breaking up with him but I wasn't ready for marriage or settlign down right then! The only thing I would advise you to do is break it off with your fiance now before you both get hurt. You are huring him just as much at the moment by lying to him. Whow do you think he will feel if he finds out?Just break it off with him, tell him you need space to sort yourself out. Then just take time out and think about who and what you really want! I mean for all you kno this work colleague might want nothing else only a casual fling?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): I think you know the right answer in your heart. Come clean, it's the only way to go. I'm in the same predicament myself, but I haven't slept with anyone. Don't live a lie.But DO make your own decision.
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