My best friend insists he's not gay but did sexual things with me. How do I talk to him about it?
Q. Its been along time since ive asked anything on DearCupid but I really need some advice now. I have asked before about my friend for many years cause i was wondering if he was into me(yes im gay) he is my bestfriend for many years but we dont hang ...
A. 20 February 2013: What can I do if times get awkward? I made it clear to him that I had no intent of having a relationship with him(especially in these circumstances) because he would make a bad partner, to which he agreed and said that I shouldnt want him. I t... (read in full...)
He's denying anything happened. I know it did (just a little) . So should I just let this drop since he can't be honest with me?
Q. Ive asked questions about my best mate a few times on this site and wondering if he is bisexual or gay and if i had a chance and up untill now nothing has really happened between us except some flirting.. If you havn't read i'll sum up... Basica...
A. 6 July 2012: I kinda have another problem... Im just getting flat out ignored by him now...
Im not sure if its because his friends are going on his stuff and deleting it(its happened before... we dont get along) or if whats happened has freaked him out.
... (read in full...)
He's denying anything happened. I know it did (just a little) . So should I just let this drop since he can't be honest with me?
Q. Ive asked questions about my best mate a few times on this site and wondering if he is bisexual or gay and if i had a chance and up untill now nothing has really happened between us except some flirting.. If you havn't read i'll sum up... Basica...
A. 1 July 2012: To clarify... I should just drop it completely? Just carry on and see if he does it again? When/If he does it again what should I do? Should I try and talk about it and stop him or just go with it and then talk?
Thankyou for the advice provided... (read in full...)
Bi and I like a guy!
Q. I'm 16 and in high school.There is a guy in my english class that I have a crush on. I had helpped him make corrections on a Geometry Test and he told me "Thanks man, I could kiss you on he mouth." And when he did I got chills up my spine. But I ...
A. 16 May 2012: To be honest I don't know any straight guys that just kiss other guys without some kind of alcohol so that they have an excuse.. If this was a longish kiss rather then just a peck, the chances are that he is curious at the least.
When it comes to... (read in full...)
Fair enough she needs time to "heal" from learning I'm gay, but how long does it take?
Q. Its been about 2 and a half years since my mum has asked me if I was gay. She still don't treat me the same as she did before which doesn't help. Seriously how long does she need! She has always had gay friends she's loved her brother who is g...
A. 16 January 2012: I didn't explain why I used y sister as an example. She's a bitch, in short. Always wanted more and was spoilt rotten, my mum literally hates her and I feel that she is now treating me like she did my sister before they didn't talk anymore and her ... (read in full...)
Fair enough she needs time to "heal" from learning I'm gay, but how long does it take?
Q. Its been about 2 and a half years since my mum has asked me if I was gay. She still don't treat me the same as she did before which doesn't help. Seriously how long does she need! She has always had gay friends she's loved her brother who is g...
A. 15 January 2012: It's not that I'm actually demanding anything, it's just that she will start an argument over the smallest thing and she has never done this. Well she hadnt for me atleast but she did for my sister and I don't want to feel like that. I'm just at the ... (read in full...)
Be gay, if it's who you are...
Q. Something that continues to grate on my nerves is the hatred I see directed at gays. People, in general, tend to support individualism...encourage to be yourselves. But, unfortunately, they often have a limit to that support. When it comes to ...
A. 23 December 2011: Sexuality is more of a spectrum (this one is limited for convienense) from White to black. With EVERY shade of grey in-between. There's 100% gay/straight on opposite sides. No one is 100%... No matter what anyone says, NO ONE is 100% gay or ... (read in full...)
The kiss was a step too far
Q. This is a little embarrassing to talk about. Well, my roommate and I had started experimenting with each other earlier in the year, and now we do quite a bit of stuff on more of a regular basis. Anyway, recently while we were messing around, ...
A. 13 November 2011: Maybe you have feelings for him? kissing has definitely changed things. Maybe he is only comfortable with the set amount of things to happens and kissing crossed the line.
The way I read this you too are still doing things together? So it obvio... (read in full...)
Mother found out I'm gay. Now our bond hasn't been the same since. How do I fix this?
Q. This mostly applies to people who came out to their families....i need help trying to have a bond with my mother recently i brought my boyfriend over to my house told my parents he was just a friend who was going to sleepover.. well in the middle o...
A. 13 November 2011: I have a very similar story, my mother called me out after reading a text message my then bf sent to me and she asked me if I was gay, I admitted that I was and she flipped, it ended with us having an argument for atleast a week and ever since we ... (read in full...)
How can I forget these images of my girlfriend with her ex's?
Q. I want to know how can I take my mind off things from my girlfriend. She had sex with t different guys before she met me and several times with them but now I'm with her and since she told me I really got mad. It gave me the bad picture of thinking ...
A. 8 November 2011: I'm guna be blunt... Near everyone has a history! All that matters is what's happening now not before... If she isn't being a floozey now then I don't see the problem, you loved this girl before but why not anymore? Nothing has changed.... (read in full...)
Do gay teen boys have more boys or more girls as friends?
Q. hi im a 15 teen boy i was wondering would you find that gay teen boys will have more boys or girls as friends...
A. 19 September 2011: I've always personally preferred my proper female friends because they are mature and are a good chat, I can't say that about guys much. As I came out and everyone got used to it I did become proper friends with the guys and I have now some great ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to become gay but I want to fall in love with a woman
Q. im a 16 yo guy that is struggling with the most weird thing that could have happened to me, being gay. it all started when i was very little, probably 10-11 when i had my 1st erections. i remember that anytime i saw a muscled guy my penis will just ...
A. 24 July 2011: It is possible if it's 100% physical when around guys that it's attraction to their "members" then its muscle attraction, ALOT of people unbelievable have muscle attraction to some exstent but just ignore it, yours is quite obviously by the sound of ... (read in full...)
Does my straight best friend want me to make the first move?
Q. Hi all, i recently came out to my best friend and i was absolutely shitting it before i told him. He is so homophobic it's unreal. Everytime he's seen a gay guy he said they should be shot and would fall out with me if he found out i was gay. When...
A. 13 July 2011: Do not make a move if you want your relationship to stay as strong as it obviously is, if you do want something to happen you have to think about the consequences, one he might think what he is skin is harmless and migh scare him away from you more, ... (read in full...)
Do I confide in him my bi-sexuality? Do I reveal my attraction to him?
Q. I'm 16 and still at high school and I seem to have a big problem. I kinda accepted that I was attracted to guys a few years ago, (girls I'm fairly sure I like too) but I think I am crushing on (falling for) this guy at my school really bad. We w...
A. 24 June 2011: Wince he says he doesn't know you could say to him about your bisexuality and if he feels the attraction for you then obviously there would be a relationship.
I wish when I was confused my friend told me she was bisexual because it would have mad... (read in full...)
I can't tell if my friend likes me in that way!
Q. I am bi and i am really confused,because i like a friend that i know a long time ago and i'm not sure if he likes me. It all started a couple years ago after an unsuccessful relationship with a girl and then i suddenly fell in love with him. He is ...
A. 8 June 2011: I've had your same problem (to a lesser exstent anyway) he sounds like he is into you, he also sounds really confused and scared, one of my ex bf's was closeted and only just coming out to himself and een though it was a good relationship he would ... (read in full...)
Is there any point in telling my dad that I'm gay?
Q. My question is... Is there any point in telling my dad I'm gay? I have been out to my mum and friends for a long time now and I'm happy but I still feel like I'm hiding, my dad moved away before I was born and left my mum, he has had two other kids ...
A. 3 June 2011: Me and my mum have only spoken once about me being gay and the fact that it was an argument kinda shows why we havnt talked since, she don't want to tell anyone... Probably because she always bigs me up saying I am the "perfect" child since I'm the ... (read in full...)
Is there any point in telling my dad that I'm gay?
Q. My question is... Is there any point in telling my dad I'm gay? I have been out to my mum and friends for a long time now and I'm happy but I still feel like I'm hiding, my dad moved away before I was born and left my mum, he has had two other kids ...
A. 31 May 2011: Well, whenever my dad used to come down and see me and my sister he would always take the piss out of other people if they were pretty boys if someone walked slightly effeminate etc. But the thing is, if I do tell him and he reacts bad then he wont ... (read in full...)
I haven't been with anyone because I am so hairy. Is this enough to put guys off?
Q. I'm a mixed Italian/South African (white) guy. The reason I said this is so you can more understand what I look like, not for a racial reason. I have more Italian features than the "boer" features. Thing is, I'm really really hairy everywhere, ...
A. 24 April 2011: I for one like Love hairy guys. But its down to YOUR happiness so if you feel is effecting your relationships or confidence you could always get it removed. Xx Beasty xX... (read in full...)
I'd love to be the confident person I appear to be. How?
Q. I don't want to bang on so I will keep this brief. I have no confidence what's so ever, after years of bullying cause I used to be a bit chubby, now that I've lost a lot of weight and some what attractive I can't bring myself to date and do thin...
A. 16 April 2011: To be honest the advice that I have relieved is great but I can't help but think about others before myself and other peoples opinions matter alot to me as well since image is a huge part since the bullying I had over my appearance. I think one of m... (read in full...)
How do gay/bi people approach each other? Especially when they're not sure of their sexuality?
Q. If you're gay or bisexual, but not openly so, how do you approach members of the same sex? Especially when you're not sure of their sexuality. Like, how do you go about it, without going to a gay club or something....
A. 4 April 2011: Very hard is the only thing I can say, when I was younger I was only out to my mothers gay friends because they kinda picked up on it and asked me and even with there help it was still hard to uproach or find other GLBT to make friends/date. Ther... (read in full...)
I love him so much, but he's straight and I'm bi!
Q. i have been in love with my best friend for 2 years now. we both knew each other from our community dance academy. we both were in the same dance crew and performed together many times. Hes a B-Boy and Im a hip hop dancer. He is totally straight...
A. 27 March 2011: I have the same exact problem... Other then the whole moving part anyway. With my problem every time I get near forgetting my feelings for him he will do something to make me fall in love again.
What your doing with being inactive isn't good for... (read in full...)
Best friend flirts with me! How do I get him to stop?
Q. Guna keep it short and simple. How do I stop my best friend (who knows I like him) flirting with me! He has a girlfriend whom I am really close to also and she looks at me when he acts like this in a way to say WTF are you doing! I hate fee...
A. 16 March 2011: Thanks for the advice but to stay away from him is near impossible, we have sport training together, we have classes together and if I ignore him he will just get full on and start trying to get my attention. With the boyfriend solution I have had ... (read in full...)
Explain the phrase
Q. can plz anyone explain this phrase to me in simple eng. catholic up-bringing...
A. 6 March 2011: Someone was brought up with catholic beliefs... (read in full...)
Help, what is wrong with me?
Q. My brother's older mate said I could use his account to ask a question quick just to clarify... I'm 15, gay and out and I find it hard to put myself out there to find a boyfriend since I broke up with my ex. Not sure if this is relevent b...
A. 24 February 2011: In responce: Over that period of time I had really come to terms with my sexuality and came out to my family and friends(again).
I only asked the question because if I do meet a nice guy I can never be confident with myself enough to give the righ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be gay!!
Q. I am a Baptist Christian guy. I know the Bible prohibits homosexuality, or bisexuality etc. But I feel attracted to mens bodies. It's not like I love men. It's lust. And with girls I'm not attracted to their bodies as much but I love them for who ...
A. 24 February 2011: The bible isn't to be taught or just read, it is for a member of that religion to read and interprit in there own way, I have read the bible and the known "homophobic" paragraphs that prohibits homosexuality to me are just messages, in no way shape ... (read in full...)
Fake Profile...
Q. Hello all.. Last week, I had went against better judgement and "tested" my boyfriend with a fake profile. (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-fell-for-the-the-fake-profile.html) Although he did message back and forth a bit, he didn't...
A. 23 February 2011: In my opinion that is wrong... I know setting up a profile to test him sounds like a good idea but you are messing with him... Say he did succumb to your fake profile.. then what? you can hardly blame him of being dis honest or unfaithful becuse you ... (read in full...)
His porn watching is upsetting me.
Q. Im 19 years old and away at university, my boyfriend is 25 and is at home working, we have constantly disagreed on subjects but this one has effected me the most, he likes to use porn as a masturbation aid, downloading around 50 porn video's I have ...
A. 19 February 2011: I know how much it may upset you because he may be thinking of another man but porn for most of us, me atleast is just a release, at no point i think of anyone else except my partner. Also porn is in no way, shape or form an alternative to the real ... (read in full...)
Issues regarding homosexuality.....any opinions?
Q. i recently encounter some issues regarding homosexualities/gay when talking with a bunch of classmate at lunch, and just wanted some honest opinion especially from gays and lesbians. here's the insight that we chat about: 1) one of my female ...
A. 10 February 2011: Just to state I am gay and from personal experiance alone I will try and asnwer your questions.
1) Girls looking for gay best friends: There are alot of girls that want gay best friends, I myself dont know why this is but some girls are like pir... (read in full...)
Issues regarding homosexuality.....any opinions?
Q. i recently encounter some issues regarding homosexualities/gay when talking with a bunch of classmate at lunch, and just wanted some honest opinion especially from gays and lesbians. here's the insight that we chat about: 1) one of my female ...
A. 10 February 2011: Just to state I am gay and from personal experiance alone I will try and asnwer your questions.
1) Girls looking for gay best friends: There are alot of girls that want gay best friends, I myself dont know why this is but some girls are like pir... (read in full...)
I think I could have counselled him better
Q. Hi all, Ok, I work in education (not a teacher) anyway, one of the students was being teased by his classmates and I pulled him to one side and said to him "do they always tease you, do you want me to do something about it?" he replied ...
A. 5 February 2011: All in all I thought you handled that pretty well, it does sound like he outed himself then but I wouldnt get to involved if I was you, I know that if one of my tutors or one of the members of staff came out to me I would feel awkward.
If he does ... (read in full...)
Should I propose?
Q. I need some advice about my relationship and whether or not we're ready to be engaged. I have a great relationship with my boyfriend of two years now. We are compatible in almost every way, same interests, passions, life goals and incomes! ...
A. 22 January 2011: You two sound perfect for each other! All I can say is that I hope I can have a relationship like you two in the future. If I was in your situation I would most definitely prepose, It sounds like you two have a wonderful relationship and... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I could be gay?
Q. i'm a male in my twenties and i'm confused about my sexuality, i think i might be gay. i started being confused about it within the past 2 years but before that i was sure i was straight but since then i have had dreams of being with another man and ...
A. 19 January 2011: Sexuality is one of those things that can take time to find out. Most find out when they're in there teen's like myself but some don't find out untill there 20's and later.
You said that you have fantasies about kissing men? This can be really norm... (read in full...)
What is the easiest way to talk to him without going directly to him?
Q. I want to know what the way and how to start talking with a boy that just live behind my house instead of going directly suggest any other way of talking with him. I haven't talk with that boy ever before and i really want to talk because i love ...
A. 18 January 2011: I have noticed you have asked the same question many a time over the past few days... re-asking the same question everyday will not help, the advice on your other questions are just what you will keep getting... There is no easy way to talk to this ... (read in full...)
Coming out is difficult?
Q. I'm gay. I've known I was gay or as long as I can remember. However, I'm afraid to come out. I'm a Junior in High School, and I know i'm not ready. But I find that coming out will be especially hard for me as my brother is also gay, and he is out. ...
A. 6 January 2011: How I am envious of you, to be honest having a gay brother is major help... and i mean MAJOR help.
I came out a little over a year ago and I had my gay uncle to talk to, I don't see him much anyway so I had to talk over Facebook. He helped me thro... (read in full...)
What kind of toys do I buy?
Q. I discovered i might be gay... I've read on many websites that i should try to penetrate my ass by myself for my first time but i dont know wat kind of toys to buy and is there anything else necessary...? Isnt it weird a young guy like me going into ...
A. 30 December 2010: you dont want to have anything hard... i suggest something rubber and more life size then super size. since your going to be very tight nothing to thick otherwise it might be a stretch to far and will put you off sex also buy lube... something water ... (read in full...)
He thinks if he's around me his "cover" will be blown
Q. so, i like this boy. we've been friends for about a year and a half. were both in the closet. i told him through facebook messaging i like him and he never replied (that was like a year ago) so its been a while. but after i told him, hes been the ...
A. 28 December 2010: has it ever passed your mind that this guy might not be gay and if he is he might not like you.
Also if he is a closet gay he will proboly still be coming to terms that he is gay, its a long and confusing road to self acknoledgment... (read in full...)
How do I withstand the cold war with my mother?
Q. Ok blunt and simple... I know that parents grieve or what ever when they find out there children are GBLT but roughly how long does this take? O.O I know it's different from person to person but it's literally killing me... Me and my mother used to ...
A. 27 December 2010: I know she doesn't care about gay people, since my uncle and her get along very well (uncle is gay and married) Plus she has many gay friends that she just adores. I'm sure it's just the shock still even though i'ts been this long. It's a bit of a ro... (read in full...)
How do I withstand the cold war with my mother?
Q. Ok blunt and simple... I know that parents grieve or what ever when they find out there children are GBLT but roughly how long does this take? O.O I know it's different from person to person but it's literally killing me... Me and my mother used to ...
A. 25 December 2010: I know she doesnt care about gay people since my uncle and her get along very well (uncle is gay and married) Plus she has many gay friends that she just adores, I'm sure it's just the shock still even tho i'ts been this long... It's a bit of a ... (read in full...)
How do I withstand the cold war with my mother?
Q. Ok blunt and simple... I know that parents grieve or what ever when they find out there children are GBLT but roughly how long does this take? O.O I know it's different from person to person but it's literally killing me... Me and my mother used to ...
A. 25 December 2010: I know she doesnt care about gay people since my uncle and her get along very well (uncle is gay and married) ... (read in full...)
Son looking at pornography on the computer?
Q. I recently caught my son on the computer looking up pornography and masturbating, i sent him to his room and told him not to ever again, and that it was wrong. i think i did the right thing, but I'm not sure. he's only 11 and it seemed like he was ...
A. 14 September 2010: ok this answer might be sligtly biased but it is pretty much natural to have urges and wonders at that certain age, i know i did... he is deffinatly not to young to wonder what its like or try and watch what its like
but... he is to young to be view... (read in full...)
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