A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i recently encounter some issues regarding homosexualities/gay when talking with a bunch of classmate at lunch, and just wanted some honest opinion especially from gays and lesbians.here's the insight that we chat about:1) one of my female classmate state that she's looking for a gay best friend...because she already has male and female friends(straight, i assume). i was like WTH...are there any female seeking gay best friends in real life?2) another male classmate of mine said that he don't mind having gay friends but as long as they don't disturbed him that's fine. so, people don't actually like making gay friends? is that other way round to show that he hate gays but in so called "nice-way"?3) another male classmate reveal he is gay after we all agree that we don't mind gays, and we are open minded about it...and there this award silent for few second...is like everyone frozen...what's that suppose to mean? i got a felling that they act as they don't mind and are friendly about gay people but deep down in their heart they really mind. why people just so mean?4) from my pass experiences, gays are unwelcome and that they being bullies like hell... i hate myself being that kind of position to hide myself...is there even an end for all these silly, stupid drama?5) i notice that most of my classmate using the word "choose" instead of "born" to be gay...which is right? although i knew that YOU DON'T CHOOSE to be gay but the general perception the public are having up until now is THEY CHOOSE...how to coop with these wrong ideal?thks...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): One thing that bothers me is the idea lots of straight boys have, that just because I'm gay I'm going to rape them or something? Just because I'm gay doesnt mean I fancy every other man. Just think; do you want to have sex with everything that has tits just because your straight? I dont understand how people say 'gay' instead of stupid in a sentence. People dont even realise how mean it is. Just think before you speak.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot guys and girls out there...i'm started to gain some idea why do my classmate behave these way.
just to add on during our conversation today AGAIN...
1) he (guys that don't mind having gay friends) "feel like" punching those ugly couple that intimate in public however (quickly) change his tone if two hot male/female couple being intimate he won't do that...usually i hate those type of people only judge other people base on appearances. So, the attractive gay/les couple is likely not to be bullied or criticizes? any unpleasant experiences from homo couple?
2) this is personal question...hope you don't mind...during my adolescence, i used to think that i only attracted to the same gender, but lately after trying some relationship with men it's seem something is missing. i would like to start a relationship with female and my problem is Do i need to share with her my pass experiences with men? Is there any chances that girls want to date a men who used to date other men?
thks...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): I'm a girl, and I'm not gay, I have a boyfriend, but I happen to support gay rights 110%. So here are my opinions from a straight person. :)
1. Yes, a lot of girls really do want a gay best friend!! I think the only way I can explain this is because it's a friend (mostly male) for them, but someone that can give them an insight on other guys, and girls. A guy that they can relate to sometimes more than their other friends. There's less chance of romantic drama, for example, if you're friends with a bunch of girls, maybe you would go out with someone's ex or something. For guy friends, maybe one of them would start liking you and it would change your friendship. You see what I mean?
2. It sounds like he just doesn't want the guy to be trying to start a realtionship other than friendship with him.
3. They were probably just in shock, and never suspected it, or were realizing and remembering things from the past that could have led up to it. They probably didn't mean for the silence to be mean, it was just shock and a little bit of confusion.
4. Time... sadly gays are bullied all the time. It may not look good right now, but I believe that with time, homosexuality will be more accepted to a point where there isn't the huge ammount of bullying. It depends on the environment around people, and what they're taught and led to believe. Stand up for what you believe in, and maybe more people will too and slowly we can start seeing a change. It's really sad but things are truly getting better.
5. I'm going to give you a new word to think about: preference. They PREFER one sex over the either. They don't say "I choose to be gay" or "I choose to be straight". They realize that they are more attracted to people of the same sex than others.
Also, you said that you wanted opinions from mostly lesbians and gays. There's a website called trevorspace.com where it's like Facebook, but on a much smaller scale and it's designed for teens struggling with their sexuality or just want to make new friends. I have an account on there, and there's a questions section on the page where I think you could get a lot more feedback on your questions. The people on there are all very nice, helpful, and honest. Give it a try, because you would definitely get some answers on there! :)
Good luck with everything, and I hope that I was able to help!!
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A
male
reader, crazybeast  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Just to state I am gay and from personal experiance alone I will try and asnwer your questions.
1) Girls looking for gay best friends: There are alot of girls that want gay best friends, I myself dont know why this is but some girls are like piranha when gay's come out the closet to get them...
2)Uneasy friend: Umm... if he means disturbed as in... flirted of crushed on then yeah i wouldnt blame him i feel weird when a girl fancies me so its the same way around, also the world today especially the newer generations (under 30's) are more excepting of the gay community, when I came out all my friends understood but my mtoerhs friends thought it was strange. Its not because he is homophobic its just the fact that he doesnt want to be crushed on (i think)
3)Revealing gay friend: ... By this do you mean he came out then and there? if so then yeah i would suspect there to be silence because some people are in shock no matter how obvious it is, its just a bit taboo for people to talk about there sexuality (when its not about getting laid)
4)Sill drama: Yes i do believe there is, the end is coming once the older people are old and seenile, alot of homophobia and name calling is from peoples parents and grandparents... its just how some people are raised up.
5)Is it a choice?: Im glad to know that you you know its not a choice, if your friends are saying its a choice you could even say to them... "would you choose to be name called and looked at differently?"... that would make them realise it isnt a choice. I know if i got to choose my sexuality i would of been straight but I am gay and i except that fact so i have become proud... another way would be to say that did they choose to be straight?
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A
male
reader, crazybeast +, writes (10 February 2011):
Just to state I am gay and from personal experiance alone I will try and asnwer your questions.
1) Girls looking for gay best friends: There are alot of girls that want gay best friends, I myself dont know why this is but some girls are like piranha when gay's come out the closet to get them...
2)Uneasy friend: Umm... if he means disturbed as in... flirted of crushed on then yeah i wouldnt blame him i feel weird when a girl fancies me so its the same way around, also the world today especially the newer generations (under 30's) are more excepting of the gay community, when I came out all my friends understood but my mtoerhs friends thought it was strange. Its not because he is homophobic its just the fact that he doesnt want to be crushed on (i think)
3)Revealing gay friend: ... By this do you mean he came out then and there? if so then yeah i would suspect there to be silence because some people are in shock no matter how obvious it is, its just a bit taboo for people to talk about there sexuality (when its not about getting laid)
4)Sill drama: Yes i do believe there is, the end is coming once the older people are old and seenile, alot of homophobia and name calling is from peoples parents and grandparents... its just how some people are raised up.
5)Is it a choice?: Im glad to know that you you know its not a choice, if your friends are saying its a choice you could even say to them... "would you choose to be name called and looked at differently?"... that would make them realise it isnt a choice. I know if i got to choose my sexuality i would of been straight but I am gay and i except that fact so i have become proud... another way would be to say that did they choose to be straight?
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Answers:
Q: Are there any female seeking gay best friends in real life?
A: Many women like having male friends who are gay because they know that the gay guy isn't going to become interested in them sexually so they can confide in them about just about anything. LOTS of women like to go to gay bars because MOST of the guys in the bar are not going to hit on them... cause they are gay.
Q: Guys that "don't mind gay friends".
A: Can't really answer this one... it really depends on the person.
Q: Awkward pause after revelation.
A: Perhaps no one really THOUGHT that he was gay... and it was a little more shocking than anyone really thought. Only time is the real indicator as to who in the group is comfortable being around/having gay friends.
Q: How to end the drama.
A: As long as there are homo-phobes the drama/bullying will continue.
A: Avoiding it - You can either continue to remain closeted or come out and then actively deal with it. Bullying is becoming a social no-no... and many schools/school-districts are enacting no-tolerance rules regarding bullying (real and cyber). Mainly because they are paranoid about being sued.
Q: Choosing to be gay.
A: It's not a choice. Ask them... when did they choose to be straight? Or when did they choose their hair color. Point out... WHY would anyone choose to be gay, knowing that society would treat them so badly?
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