A
male
age
30-35,
*zr
writes:i have been in love with my best friend for 2 years now. we both knew each other from our community dance academy. we both were in the same dance crew and performed together many times. Hes a B-Boy and Im a hip hop dancer. He is totally straight and has had many depression due to rejection by the girl he loves and i have always been there for him. I moved to Australia, it was difficult for both of us. but he would always call me, and chat with me every night. im the closest friend he ever had and im the only one he opens up for everything. ive been taking care of him all this while. hes fragile, and cant do stuff on his own. hes very emotional, hes been depressed about a girl for a year and ive always listened to his problems even though thousand miles away.i would come back and see him every 6 months and we would have the time of our lives. hes very sweet, caring and loving. he cuddles with me, he lets me lean on him, hug him and kiss him (on the cheek). I even made him kiss me on the cheek a lot of times. We would have sleepovers and laugh all night, talk, and I would usually tickle him and hug him to sleep. i love him so much and i would do anything for him. but hes straight and im bi. he knows im bi but i dont think he knows i love him this way. i mean we exchange i love yous all the time, but he always look up to me as a big brother. recently, he started dating this other girl. and ive been so very depressed. ive been drinking non-stop and crying, but at the same time i tell him im happy for him and im being supportive all the time. the awkward thing is, the girl is actually a good friend of mine as well, and i talk to her about how im in love with him. is it possible for him to love me in a way that i do? do you think there are signs that he might love me? he treats me nothing like his other friends, and he would always tell me im his number one.but now that he has a girlfriend, i can guess that will change soon enough.but i really love him :(
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male
reader, azr +, writes (27 March 2011):
azr is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Yes i know its unhealthy, and prolly theres no chance of me being with him at all.
he doesnt know why ive gone away. he doesnt actually know that im depressed about this.
hes not really a smart one, hes clueless most of the time of whats happening. so its safe to say that this wont actually affect our friendship.
its just that, i needed to get away for awhile. :(
I love him. and i know that he will be one of the most amazing people in my life, i can just feel it.
This is a big bump on a rocky road.
Im still trying to get over this, but seriously, its pretty hard.
Ive practically done everything. Went out with friends, watched movies, danced till i get muscle cramps, even drank like an alcoholic.
but nothing makes it feel better.
so i guess i need time.
:(
Thanks for your replies :)
A
male
reader, crazybeast  +, writes (27 March 2011):
 I have the same exact problem... Other then the whole moving part anyway. With my problem every time I get near forgetting my feelings for him he will do something to make me fall in love again.
What your doing with being inactive isn't good for you, you will just end up disoriented and scared with you being in love with him it's a hard situation, some straight people do end up being with there gay/bi friends just on the fence but mostly they will be your best friends for life that wont just be special but will be the most amayzing people in your life. It's just the part of disiding what to do. Forget or perceiver .
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A
male
reader, azr +, writes (26 March 2011):
azr is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Thank you so much.
Im really trying to cope with this situation.
It doesnt help when Im overseas, and all my good friends are away. I mean I have friends here, but I dont really open up to them, Ive always been clinging to friends I have back home. So its pretty hard handling these emotions while Im alone here. Ive been in my room for days and I dont even feel like going to classes or anything.
:(
Ive been missing for days now, as in, I deactivated my facebook account, and I dont reply to any of his texts or any of my friends texts. I guess I need to get away. It actually hurts really bad when I see his facebook wall posts with his girlfriend. Id always question myself why cant it be me the sweet things you say to. And I dont really bother talking to him about this, I did for a while, hes really happy with her and all. Im being supportive, but Id get so jealous.
I wanna know whats going on with his life, but at the same time I dont wanna know, cuz its hurting me.
So i decided to disappear for a while.
Anyways. Thanks so much for your reply. I really hope whatever you said will come true
much love
:)
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A
female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (26 March 2011):
 Hiyaaaa,Sounds like you guys are very good mates!Firstly there is nothing wrong with being bi! A bi person can be with a straight person :)I think you should ask him about his relationship with his girlfriend and how much he loves her and all that so you have a rough idea of how much he loves her just to know whether you have a chance.I think one day you should tell him that you like him just a little more than a friend but at the mean time just wait patiently and soon pieces will fall into place and you'll get an opportunity to maybe be with him!Because he's in a relationship my best advice is just be friend with him and when the time is right just tell him that love him and always did. You wouldn't wanna mess an relationship up just just wait because good things will come!Hang in there sunshine!Hope my advice helps!Good luck,Lots of loveIma FreAk!x
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