A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, i recently came out to my best friend and i was absolutely shitting it before i told him. He is so homophobic it's unreal. Everytime he's seen a gay guy he said they should be shot and would fall out with me if he found out i was gay.When i came out to him, he told me he still hates gays but as it's me, he really doesn't mind and would still stick by me no matter what happened as long as i don't try and make a move on him.But the thing is before i told him he would lie on top of me and rest his balls on my arm while watching tv or whatever (i've felt him have an errection before aswell). Now he's found out, he's still letting me do it, he hasn't said a word.Now i would like to maybe give him oral or something that doesn't make him feel properly gay lol. but i really don't know to even approach it. I want it more than anything but i think it might mess up the friendship if i ask him. This is the trouble, i'm in love with him, he still has sex with women and always says he wouldn't touch another guy, yet he lets me do that!I know this is literally the most stupid question posted on here but i'm just really not sure how to approach this situation.
View related questions:
best friend, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, crazybeast +, writes (13 July 2011):
 Do not make a move if you want your relationship to stay as strong as it obviously is, if you do want something to happen you have to think about the consequences, one he might think what he is skin is harmless and migh scare him away from you more, also if you physically make a move he will most likely get angry at you hence ruining the relationship.
I would do what the last response said, it gives him the chance to back off without it getting "too gay" for him to get mad but also it opens a window for him if he really wants something like that.
It seems the most logical thing to do in this situation in my opinion, just little things can come off in different way to different people and doing what the last person said it opens windows either way.
Xx Beasty xX
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): I just wrote a bunch of stuff for you and it got deleted, sorry, to sum it up, you have the upper hand, the next time he does something like that say jokingly "You do know I'm gay right?" or "I'm not that kind of guy Jake (Whatever his name is)" or "I'm sooo not into guys James so get your balls of me."
Watch him like a hawk and allow HIM to make the first move. He may be bi or just wants everything to be the same with. Or you could just ask why he still does it, it's a logically question in this situation.
Best o' luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): Do nothing. Do;t make any moves. Personally I would make some new friends and move on, I mean, why would you want to be in the company of someone who is so homophobic' ?? :freind' or not? Move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 I wouldn't push it PHYSICALLY. I'm with XFrogLover. Just go with the flow and let him do the touchy-feely thing. My guess is your friend might be a little more 'bi' than he lets on. VERY OFTEN you'll see gays/bi's who're not very comfortable with themselves being very homophobic. It's a defense mechanism.
I know it makes it hard, cause you probably have feelings for him. A better solution would be to cease those types of activities (with him) altogether... and go find yourself a real boy friend.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): Hey ;)
Ok, when I was reading your post I thought pretty much the same thing as the one who commented before me but I still think you should explore. Of course you shouldn't just ask him straight forward, that could damage your friendship, but I think he is a good friend for saying that he would stick by you what ever happens. Just try to do something more, like touch him by 'accident' or lie on top of him while watching tv. I don't know, but if he is still having sex with women he is probably not gay, you'll have to find out if he's bi :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): Ill make it easy for you- he's still acting the same way because he doesn't want your friendship to change. He doesn't want to change the way he behaves around you because that will ruin the friendship.
For a homophobic he has taken the news well, don't ruin that by making a move. He has told you loud and clear if you make a move or evem suggest anything you and he will no longer be friends.
I can't help but think you are imagining a lot of this because of your feelings for him. When we love someone, we look for signs- any kind of signal that would suggest they're interested. Could this be the case with you?
Please listen to what your friend is saying, he is okay with your sexuality aslong as you accept his sexuality in return- accept he is straight just like he has accepted your gay.
...............................
|
