A
male
age
30-35,
*razybeast
writes:My question is... Is there any point in telling my dad I'm gay? I have been out to my mum and friends for a long time now and I'm happy but I still feel like I'm hiding, my dad moved away before I was born and left my mum, he has had two other kids with one women and then done the same to another. The thing is, He might not be the closest of people to me but does he really need to know? He is a bit of a dickhead but by blood he is my dad. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, crazybeast +, writes (3 June 2011):
crazybeast is verified as being by the original poster of the question Me and my mum have only spoken once about me being gay and the fact that it was an argument kinda shows why we havnt talked since, she don't want to tell anyone... Probably because she always bigs me up saying I am the "perfect" child since I'm the smartest in my family and never been argumental blah, so I don't think she wants to change peoples opinions. Basically I'm out but only to people she thinks it's ok to like my uncle, she wasnt even happy about my friends knowing so Its just completely stressing. Tbh I feel like an outcast from my family, I've just never fit into there way and none of them have enough brain power and since my grandad died I've been gagging for a descent conversation that doesn't involve shoes make up or some really bad celeb gossip.I just want to be out completely instead of just enough, I can barely have a relationship without censorship.
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (2 June 2011):
 How often do you see him? Seems a little strange that he left your mom before you were born... and has done the same to other women/children. Sounds like he's very commit-phobic if you ask me. Why do you feel that he needs to know? Have you talked to you mom about it? What does she have to say? If you only see him occasionally... and/or you don't have a very close relationship with him... then I wouldn't.
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A
male
reader, Lifeless13 +, writes (1 June 2011):
Since it doesn't sound like he's putting forth much effort to really participate in your lives, and you only see him about 3 times a year... I might say no. It shouldn't make a big difference between you. Ig it might make him angry, and he is barely involved in your life, then maybe you don't need to come out to him. However, if you want to just go ahead and get it off your chest, that would make sense too, and I support your effort. Do what you think you should.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2011):
 Then you wait for the right time. There is no need to hurry.
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A
male
reader, crazybeast +, writes (31 May 2011):
crazybeast is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, whenever my dad used to come down and see me and my sister he would always take the piss out of other people if they were pretty boys if someone walked slightly effeminate etc. But the thing is, if I do tell him and he reacts bad then he wont wana see me again, we see each other 3 times a year at most and he never paid child support or called to say merry christmas/happy birthday... So i'm stuck what to do or even how I would go about doing it, At the mintue only my mum knows i'm gay and I dont want to tell my nana since she is dying and dont need the stress and I dont want to tell my sister just yet cause we dont get along as it is and i'm kinda afriad to tell him since he could ring them up in anger blah blah, its just a big train wreck kind of..
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (31 May 2011):
It doesn't matter. If it is important to you that he knows, you could give it a shot at telling him. But unless it comes up, I don't think you need to tell him really. He'll figure it out on day soon when you get a boyfriend, but he doesn't need to know really. Some parents also don't care too much either way.
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A
male
reader, georgey5100 +, writes (31 May 2011):
do you love your dad? does he love you? if so then surely he would not care if you are gay :) my bf told his mum last week that he was gay and he that he has is going out with me :S but his dad is extremely homophobic apparently :/ so be careful... ask yourself how well you know your dad. good luck if you choose to tell him :) i'm sure it will work out fine if you do :)
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