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... Send *ool Cucumber a private message | | | *ool Cucumber's profile:I am happily single, in my late twenties living in the southwest of England.
I like to lead a quiet life and keep things simple. Life is complicated enough as it is without getting into a state about small problems when larger problems exist in the world. I feel blessed with what I have in my life so far, lots don't have even a roof over their head/food in their stomaches. I strive to get my prorities right where people and views are concerned. I am not a confrontational person and prefer to 'compromise' rather than 'control'. I consider myself a relatively level headed person, I express myself mostly from the heart and remain consistent, honest and sincere.
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What obligations do we have in our various relationships and what is the nature of those obligations?
Q. What obligations do we have in our various relationships and what is the nature of those obligations? I suppose an obvious relationship in which there are clear obligations is a contractual relationship. What about in marriages? Do we have ...
A. 25 April 2007: You should never feel obliged to be someones friends or be obliged to love someone. Love comes from the heart, from the depths of your soul. It is given freely and lives under no law or obligation. Love is kind, love does not envy, love does not ... (read in full...)
What are some good songs about unrequited love ?
Q. what are some good songs about loving someone who doesn't love you back? ... ... ... all genres, sung by both female and male .... thanks ...
A. 30 March 2007: "I'm outta love" - Anastacia
"Stand by me" - Ben E King
"Against all odds" - Phil Collins ... (read in full...)
Are anti-depressants bad for you?
Q. I went to the doctors yesterday because I was feeling really tired all the time and really down. He prescribed me anti-depressants and I started taking them last night. My housemate went nuts and told me they were really bad for me but I think I ...
A. 28 March 2007: They need to be taken along with a course of counselling/therapy. Did your doctor advise that you see a counsellor? There could be underlying reasons to your depression and taking drugs won't cure these problems. You might feel good for a while ... (read in full...)
If there really IS a God, why does he allow so much suffering?
Q. Do you believe in God? And if so why does he allow all the pain in the world. I’ve been brought up to believe in God and never doubt my belief. My family are not religious in the sense of going to church, my mother has always believed in God ...
A. 16 March 2007: If you type in 'Frequently Asked Bible Questions' or 'christian doctrine' on the web then you should find some good websites answering your vital question. Feel free to message me though. Your question could set off a hot debate, depending on ... (read in full...)
If there really IS a God, why does he allow so much suffering?
Q. Do you believe in God? And if so why does he allow all the pain in the world. I’ve been brought up to believe in God and never doubt my belief. My family are not religious in the sense of going to church, my mother has always believed in God ...
A. 16 March 2007: Look at http://www.gotquestions.org/archive.html. This is a good site if you need basic questions answered. Also http://www.carm.org/questions_doctrine.htm. This website in some areas of christian doctrine especially, is not 100% reliable, but it ... (read in full...)
Should I take the plunge with my friend ? the Sexual tension is mounting, but would this ruin it ?
Q. A dear friend of mine have this unspoken thing for oneanother. I dont want to ruin our friendship but i have had a serious crush on her for a long time now and its apparent she does too. So much so our friendship is boarderline awkward as a result ...
A. 9 March 2007: I think that if you were to continue as platonic friends the tension would create a birdge between you both. I would suggest that as you both have been friends first then you have already established a foundation for a possible relationship now to ... (read in full...)
Can a born again christian and an aethiest marry? I'm really wondering whether this would work or just cause problems.
Q. Can an Born again christian and an Atheist marry? I've been with my girlfriend for near 10 months now and we have very strong feelings for each other. I am an atheist but I hide under the title of a catholic. I don't believe in Satan, I simply ...
A. 21 February 2007: She knew you were'nt a christian before getting heavily involved with you didn't she? So if she really were true to her faith she should never have even dated you, that's why you are both in the mess you're in now! It's good that she has bee... (read in full...)
I'm waiting until marrige for sex, but will this become a problem in the relationships I have?
Q. Is sexual compatibility important in a relationship? I’m a guy who’s 24 years old and I’m still a virgin. The reason why I’m still a virgin is because I’m abstaining from sex till marriage. But people keep telling me that no one will wait for me...
A. 12 February 2007: 'Are many women into abstaining from sex till they are married? posted 10th feb. Exactly the same sorta question asked...see my answer on my column for this question.
... (read in full...)
Are many women into abstaining from sex till they are married?
Q. Abstaining from sex till marriage advice. I’m a guy, who’s still a virgin at 24 years old. I have always had this idea in my head, that I would like to wait till marriage to have sex. The thing that worries me is, do you think that many women ...
A. 12 February 2007: I'm 29 and ever since I became a christian (4years ago) I have decided to wait until I'm married to have sex. Before I was a christian, I had a couple of relationships that included sex. (yea I know, not truly a virgin...but am going to wait ... (read in full...)
My MOM or my PARTNER? Who do I choose?
Q. if you had a choice between your mom and your partner who would you choose?...
A. 7 February 2007: You should never have to make a choice like that...sounds like blackmail, we need more info really to go on...... (read in full...)
Why is she encroaching on my privacy? I have nothing to hide!
Q. Dear Cupid My girlfriend has been demanding we exchange email passwords as a mutual good faith gesture of trust. Her ex let her have his and she says if I have nothing to hide I'd do the same. While I have nothing to hide, I am uncomfortable wi...
A. 7 February 2007: She has no right to ask you for your password...it's like asking you for your PIN's for your bank cards...
The issue here is not about whether you have anything to hide or not, the issue here is that she has issues she needs to deal with!! ... (read in full...)
She broke off with me and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. Any advice?
Q. Hi,I hope you can help me with this. I built up a dream and my love around this girl I meet two years ago. Things were good on those early months, then she started to show her true character after 6 months or so… She started her demands after de...
A. 29 January 2007: It sounds like her needs differed from yours. Quite likely she shut herself off from her feelings when she broke up with you. She must have seen it coming to an end and possibly due to her being hurt in the past etc she decided it was best to ... (read in full...)
He keeps touching my vagina.... why!?
Q. My problem is this, I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now and he has this habit of constantly touching my private parts (vagina), he says that it is his to touch, this is really starting to irritate me, I have spoken to him about it before ...
A. 12 January 2007: Yea, you could do it to him (touch his crotch) all the time and see how he likes it....!!! Oh actually he may like it...well it could irritate him and I bet you it is one rule for him and another for you! Sounds like this relationship is based on ... (read in full...)
I'm not happy that my gf is constantly talking to her ex. Don't they need time to get over each other?
Q. Can you get over an ex and still talk to them all the time? My girlfriend broke up with her ex about 3 months ago. she didnt hear from him up until a few wks ago but now theyre talking on the phone all the time. She says she wants to keep talking to ...
A. 10 January 2007: In my opinion it is not ok. Why be friends with an ex unless there is an ulterior motive? Or unless there is children involved which there isn't. Yes time is needed to get over a relationship, so being in touch so soon after a split is not ... (read in full...)
I think my gf is pretty, but I'm not sexually attracted to her - I don't know what to do!
Q. Should I stay with her? or am I just hurting my self by missing out? I'm 22 and my gf and I have been together for almost 5 years! She's absolutely great: she's very good to me, we love all the same things, and we get a long with no problems. I a...
A. 13 December 2006: Makes me wonder why you are with her if you prefer darker skinned/haired ladies. What attracted you to her in the first place? If this attraction has now dissappeared it's time to evaluate what you want. Ultimately how does she feel? You can't ... (read in full...)
I don't want a heart anymore
Q. i fell in love almost four years ago, it was the first, i had never been in a long term relationship before and it hit me like rain on a window pain. i needed teaching every way to act, i found myself in situations that i know know were disrespec...
A. 13 December 2006: Oh sweetheart....you express your pain so well, I'm feeling it!! There was obviously a good reason as to why you both slid out of the relationship into 2 single persons again. You loved her more then she loved you by the sounds of it. It is not ... (read in full...)
I'm curious on how pre-martial sex is perceived!
Q. what do people think about pre-marital sex? i grew up in a religious family, but waiting until marriage made a lot more sense when i was 19. now i'm 27, and i'm curious. does anyone really wait this long? is it bad if you sleep with someone in a ...
A. 22 November 2006: Not many think this way. Some people who beleive that is right and proper to wait until you are married before having sexual relations, say it helps them to not place an importance on the physical, more on the emotional aspect of the relationship. ... (read in full...)
I've never looked twice at a married man, before...what is going on with me!!??
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend about a year ago. I moved here with him but when we broke up he moved away. I am hoping to leave here soon. I have dated a bit but there has been no one serious in my life for quite some time. I am working on a committee ...
A. 20 November 2006: He is emotionally unavailable. Actually unavailable full stop...unless he wants a bit of no strings sex. But the problem is no strings sex turns into a rather stringy mess if you get what I mean. So don't go down that well travelled road of ... (read in full...)
My ex is still in my life... How can I move on with peace of mind?
Q. i have been to this web site a few times in the past to deal with my issues and it has helped me a lot. i am a 25 male who got dumped 4 months ago. i went out with her for almost 2 years and it was great. one day she decides that she wants to be ...
A. 20 November 2006: Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants! Could be that she is insecure as a person and does not want to be single, maybe she has a need to be with someone to make her feel wanted, even if they are not the 'right' person.
She probably... (read in full...)
I crave sex with everyone but my gf! Help!
Q. why do i find that i always go off sex with my girlfreind but crave it with every other person.can any one help?...
A. 6 November 2006: It's the 'grass is greener' syndrome. Once you have had something a few times you want to move on and explore new avenues. Sounds like you shouldn't be in a relationship if you feel this way. Wait a few years until you are mature enough to be in ... (read in full...)
To be with him he thinks I should leave my faith and join his!!!
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and i have been on for about a month now. He is very kind, spiritual and pure. But that is the problem really. He expects me to imitate him and has strict standard that i really dont think i can keep up with.I really di...
A. 27 October 2006: If he wanted to go out with a fellow christian and he was truly passionate about his beleifs then surely he would have made sure he was with someone of the same beleifs etc. The fact that he is with you suggests that while he may have strong ... (read in full...)
What are the signals as to whether someone fancies you???
Q. how do you know if a girl fancies you? what are the signs? thanks...
A. 26 October 2006: The first important 'sign' a woman fancies you is that she will try and grab every opportunity to talk to you or sit next to you. If she is shy then this is more tricky and is quite difficult to pick up the signals. If you talk to her and she ... (read in full...)
Partner just doesn't seem interested in me anymore. Am I being silly?
Q. Hi I’m really new at this i mean i just cant count on my friends to understand or tell me the truth. i have been with my partner for a year now and its so hard for me to explain what its like. He is a very jealous person but never shows it only eve...
A. 23 October 2006: You can't continue like this. Maybe you may need to spend more time apart and stop phoning him as much as you have. See if he chases after you! As you have done all the running around, he probably feels he doesn't have to do anything and to be ... (read in full...)
Dating an Asian-Muslim girl..what kind of barriers and problems could arise from that?
Q. Can anybody help me with problems arising from having a relationship with an Asian Muslim girl?...
A. 16 October 2006: The main one that springs to mind is her religious beliefs. Would you agree to her beliefs? Or would it not bother you? Most muslim families like their children to date muslims and eventually marry them so as the population of muslims increases. ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl but my friend has liked her for longer...what do I do??
Q. i like a girl n she might like me but one of my friends has liked her longer what should i do? and when i mean like her i think about her non stop please help me ...
A. 16 October 2006: It's highly unlikely that she would fancy both of you...if she likes either one of you at all!!! If she does like one of you then, this you have no control over which of you she likes. You have a 50% chance that she may like you, explain to your ... (read in full...)
I'm 23 he's 35 but I can't tell my parents as they will think he is too old for me!!
Q. Hi I have started seeing a guy i am 23 and he is 35, the age difference does not bother us but i can't tell my mum and dad as i know that they will think that he is too old for me! We are mad about either and we have been for over year and we...
A. 16 October 2006: You are an adult he is an adult...where is the harm in that? It's not that big an age gap, your parents should cut you some slack, you're 23 not 13!!! Be honest with them and just say that you have fallen in love with him, surley you are old enough ... (read in full...)
Is cybersex over the internet considered cheating?
Q. Cybering Over The Internet Cheating Or Not? A Month Ago me and my girlfriend got in bed and i was so tired i couldn't keep my eyes open i touched her up and then said sorry i'm to tired (stupid i know) then she couldn't sleep when i went to sleep ...
A. 11 October 2006: Some people would say it is, some people not. I can put my opinion accross here and say I think it is a form of cheating, even though she has had no actual physical contact, she has cheated by thinking of someone else in a sexual way. Mental or ... (read in full...)
Why are the only blokes I like either older or married?
Q. Ok my problem is that every bloke i like or even get on with is married. For the past two years up until june i was seeing a married guy who was 12 years older than me (i'm 22), we got on so well, we also fell in love but i ended because it ...
A. 11 October 2006: Older men do have an attraction, I personally prefer a guy who is a few years older then me, but as soon as I find out they are married that is a definate turn off for me. I apreciate that in some cases a man will lie about being married, and maybe ... (read in full...)
I like him more than a good friend...do I tell him?
Q. I have a friend that ive known for about 5 years. Ever since Ive met him Ive felt something for him however within the last 6 months these feelings have recently started getting stronger. However he isnt a very close friend - but I value his ...
A. 11 October 2006: You could tell him, if he is a decent enough friend it should'nt be a problem, although could be a little awkward at first. If you never say anything, it could become increasingly difficult to be around him and very frustrating too as you want more ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to date a someone 8 years older than you?
Q. is it okay to date a someone 8 years older than you?...
A. 11 October 2006: Yes, as long as you are not a minor. I don't think age matters too much, if you get on and like him then go for it, it's only 8 not 80 years difference...!!! In fact sometimes it is better to date an older man as generally they mature later then ... (read in full...)
I am a female who enjoys porn. Why do so many women have hang ups?
Q. Is it me thats just broad minded or why is it that so many women have so many hang ups over porn sites videos or sex in general and they thinks its dirty.?? please answer cos is it me thats strange cos i am female and i enjoy porn Lol...
A. 9 October 2006: Mmmm this is a delicate issue. So many people have conflicting ideas about porn. It depends what kind of porn you're talking about here. Are you in a relationship? Is it affecting anyone close to you? If the answer is no, then in your ... (read in full...)
I go on and off the pill - does this mess with your hormones?
Q. I go on and off the pill! is this dangerous as it messes with your hormones or is it fine!?...
A. 4 October 2006: Depends how often you do it. Yes I beleive that it can mess with your hormones. It is an artificial chemical pill that stops you from ovulating, when you stop it for the 7 days you get a 'withdrawal bleed' not a proper period. A lot of people ... (read in full...)
He isn't allowed to date and is moving away, how do I keep him close but not too close?
Q. I'm in love with someone who is not allowed to date, or even consider dating for almost 2 years. I think he might like me, but I'm not completely sure. we have a lot in common, which for me, is rare. The big problem is that he'll be leaving soon and ...
A. 4 October 2006: Why is he not allowed to date? How old is he and is it a religious thing that he is not allowed to date?? Chances are as he is leaving it will be hard to stay in touch. Best thing to do is tell him how you feel and see if he would like to stay in ... (read in full...)
Does all this mean that she does actually like me ?
Q. well theres a girl that i like, we have been talking over msn for about 4 weeks now, and we talk for about 3-4 hours a night (maybe more on weekends), we have a real good laff and stuff, and she says and does things which make me think she likes me, ...
A. 29 September 2006: Yes yes yes x 100!!!!!!... (read in full...)
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