A
male
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* Waited For The One
writes:Cybering Over The Internet Cheating Or Not?A Month Ago me and my girlfriend got in bed and i was so tired i couldn't keep my eyes open i touched her up and then said sorry i'm to tired (stupid i know) then she couldn't sleep when i went to sleep she went downstair's to go on the internet to chat to people from around the world (First time) at 7am 2 hour's after i went to sleep i went down stair's to check to see if she was ok. and as soon as i walked into the room she closed her msn messenger down i asked her if she was ok she said yes and i saw the guy say " u was talking Dirty first " she said it was him talking dirty not her but i knew she closed it for a reason in the morning while she was getting up i read her msn messager (not hard) and she was saying stuff like how she wanted to suck is **** and stuff but she said it twice it made me sick 2 my bones she walked in seeing me reading it she ran 2 our room crying saying she did it for fun and it didn't mean nothing. i did forgive her but now she's back in contact with her ex's sister and i worried he will say something and she will never tell me am i right to think this?is cybering over the internet cheating?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): I have been with my husband for 9 years and I get online and do the same to him!It seems wrong but in my eyes I think thats better then doing the real thing.I belive It's something the women desires but can't tell there mate and don't wanna cheat so this is what happens.I really wouldn't worry inless you know she's out meeting men.Maybe you could offer to join her in what she desires!I would just look at it as if she is questioning different sexual desires,and this is normal for everyone!! Thank you,Amanda wht/27/
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2006): funny how the answers for this one are so different to a lot of the answers given to women when men are on porn and sex chat...It seems a lot of people are quick to say 'oh but men are more visual' or 'it menas nothing about his attraction to you' but when a woman does it people slam her..im not saying that the responders here would do that but a lot of people do make excuses for men and put crap on women for the same thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2006): even though cyber sex is not physical, it is a form of cheating no matter how u look at it. ur spouse should be talking dirty to u and not some internet person. ur spouse lacks respect for u and if ur spouse is internet cheating then i wouldnt doubt if she is or would cheat on u physically.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2006): To be honest there is no excuse for saying stuff like that to someone else whether it be a joke, flirting or a proposition when you're in a relationship. All that is strictly a no go area! Tell her she mustn't do it in future as it hurts you (she obviously knew it would anyway as she did it thinking you were in bed). Tell her you need to be able to trust her. Hopefully this is just something stupid she did for a laugh as a one off, but you cant let things like this continue as they damage a relationship. Put forward to her just how much it hurts you. Just make sure she knows you're putting your foot down about it.
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A
female
reader, Cool Cucumber +, writes (11 October 2006):
 Some people would say it is, some people not. I can put my opinion accross here and say I think it is a form of cheating, even though she has had no actual physical contact, she has cheated by thinking of someone else in a sexual way. Mental or physical I personally beleive it is the same. Although this person does not pose any threat as he is on the other side of the computer, it obviously has had an effect on you and your relationship. If you have a good strong relationship going, and trust has never been an issue and you can talk to her and explain how you feel, then it is not worth breaking up over. I am sure she is embarassed to have been caught and maybe she is genuinely sorry. It is up to you how things will go from here, but hopefully this is just a 'one off' and maybe it won't ever happen again. Hope you guys can work it out! x
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